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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to use my DDs savings on treatment for our dog?

116 replies

BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy · 30/08/2016 13:09

Ok - so my lovely DF has recently given my 2 DDs some money (£500 each) to put into their child trust fund. DH & I have not been too happy with the trust funds as, for the past couple of years, they have actually lost money and, with the current financial uncertainty post Brexit, we thought it would probably be better just to keep the money in our savings account and then transfer it to the trust fund when the markets are a bit more stable. This means that, although the money probably wouldn't make them anything, what with interest rates being so low, at least we wouldn't lose any of the money (as we have the past couple of years).

Anyway, we've now discovered that our much loved family dog is ill Sad and is going to need a (very expensive) operation followed by more (expensive) ongoing treatment which, tbh, we're going to struggle to afford.

So - WIBU to consider using some of our DDs savings money to pay for the dog's treatment? Obviously we would pay the money back as soon as we could so that the money would be back in the account, probably within the year so our DDs wouldn't lose the money (maybe minus some negligible interest they might have earned on it).

Obviously, if we had put the money straight into the trust fund then the money wouldn't be available to us & we would have found the money for the dog from somewhere but, seeing as it is just sitting in our account atm, would it be terrible to borrow some so that we're not struggling for the next few months?

OP posts:
GeneralBobbit · 30/08/2016 13:11

Of course you should

But after you need to pay it back for when she's 18. And try to afford insurance for the dog

FlowersFlowersFlowers Hope he's ok

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 30/08/2016 13:12

You're not really using her money if you intend to repay it before she needs it. I'd do it.

angeldiver · 30/08/2016 13:13

I would use the money yes, as long as it is paid back to them.

As an aside, I have an ISA that I save into for my children. Post Brexit, the fund grew day on day for 3 and a half weeks, which was previously unheard of, and is still growing.
I was surprised after all the doom mongering, I expected it to be on it's arse Grin

angeldiver · 30/08/2016 13:14

Oh yes, I hope ddog makes a good recovery .

Haggisfish · 30/08/2016 13:16

I would be surprised if £1000 covered anywhere near the bill tbh. Is dog likely to recover? Insurance will be hideously expensive after it has been treated. I'm a lot more hard hearted about these things I think!

Original poster
BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy · 30/08/2016 13:17

Forgot to mention - we do have insurance for our dog but because of his age we have to pay a portion of the total costs (£150 excess plus 25% of the total cost). I shudder to think how much this would cost us if we didn't have it Sad

OP posts:
Inertia · 30/08/2016 13:18

Why can't you use your own savings from your own savings accounts?

The performance of CTCs is a bit of a red herring - if you are not happy with them, use the money in the fund to open a JuniorISA for each child. It's a very straightforward process. Sounds like you're making excuses to spend your children's money.

I'm sorry that your much-loved dog is ill. Only you and your vet know whether a series of difficult operations is the right thing for your dog.

Sparklesilverglitter · 30/08/2016 13:21

Normally I say no because the money isn't your its your child's but as its a family pet I imagine it brings the child joy and they would be very sad if anything happened to the dog. So I would use it but only if the dog is going to fully recover from the operation and only if you can pay your DC back with no problems.

SmilingButClueless · 30/08/2016 13:21

Going slightly against the grain here.

If it was money that you'd been saving for your DDs, then I'd say use it. However, it's not. Your DF gave this for a specific purpose and it seems wrong to me to just use it for something else. Maybe ask your DF if he's happy with you borrowing the money?

If you can find the money for your dog from somewhere else, I would do that instead.

Also, if the ongoing treatment is likely to be expensive, are you going to be able to afford to pay the money back while paying for treatment?

EttaJ · 30/08/2016 13:21

Use whatever money you have to. Do you have pet insurance? We always did in the UK but here they don't do it sadly.I hope your pooch is ok.

Eatthecake · 30/08/2016 13:23

I am normally very much against people using money that has been given to dc. As its a family pet I would make an exception provided the vet was confident the dog would recovery from the operation and that I knew I could pay my girls back

pauldacreshairlessnutsack · 30/08/2016 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allnewredfairy · 30/08/2016 13:26

I would sell my granny's teeth to save my dog.

otter2954 · 30/08/2016 13:27

I agree with smiling, and I love dogs.

I think it's courtesy just to ask the giver if they mind.

MoreCoffeeNow · 30/08/2016 13:27

Sorry but I think YABU. It isn't your money to use.

Original poster
BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy · 30/08/2016 13:28

Unfortunately, before we put our DDs money into our savings account, the account had a total of £1.75 in it (expensive repairs on both DH & my old bangers cars). Obviously if we had the money ourselves we would just use that, the last thing I want to do is use money my DF gave to our DDs.

As for the Ctc, looking back at the last 2years statements we have lost around £300-£400 on each of the funds (over the course of 2years) so I am a little reluctant to put any more money in there.

I will definitely look into getting a child's ISA though.

OP posts:
FireSquirrel · 30/08/2016 13:29

I don't think a sick pet can be compared to a holiday or new car. I would use the money without a second thought, and just replace it when I was able.

UmbongoUnchained · 30/08/2016 13:30

No I wouldn't. It's their money not yours.

madein1995 · 30/08/2016 13:31

YANBU. The dog is a part of your family, to me it is an absolute no brainer, I would use the money and put it back if I could. As an aside, my parents used some of my savings back in 2008 when dad was made redundant for a year and things were tight (I was a child then) and didn't pay it back, and I wouldnt ask them to because it was their money. You and DH have control over their money and what it is spent on for the time being, so I don't think you need anyone's permission. Go for it, and I hope ddog feels better soon.

SnotGoblin · 30/08/2016 13:34

I think you need to get the DDs money back in a separate account (Junior ISA where it can earn proper interest or even Bonds where it has a chance of increasing) and not spend on your dog's operation.

Realisitically you are unlikey to be in a position to pay it back any time soon if you are in the position of having to borrow for the operation and it will become easy to forget about having to do so once it's gone...

madein1995 · 30/08/2016 13:36

Also I don't think you'd be starting off on a slippery slope OP. A dog is part of a family, they really get into your hearts and you miss them when they go. Why make them go/PTS/cause suffering if you don't have to? A dog is a part of the family, a car or a holiday isn't. I would quite happily sell some of my jewellry to afford an operation for the dog, I wouldn't do that for a holiday. Because you have an emotional attachment to a dog, you don't for holidays :D also personally I wouldn't see anything wrong with a parent dipping into their childs savings for a car as long as the old car had to be replaced (eg broken beyond repair) and a car is needed for work and school trips (where I live you can't get anywhere really by public transport)

Annie592 · 30/08/2016 13:36

How old are your DDs? I would use the money for your dog, provided you're going to pay it back I think that's fine. I'm a bit torn about whether I'd tell the friend. I think it might make things a bit awkward, friend might feel a bit uncomfortable when they weren't planning to subsidise your vet bills, even if you do say you'll be paying it back. I would be tempted to avoid that awkwardness and just do it, knowing you'll pay it back, and DF won't have to know. I can understand people not thinking that's right though. But I would definitely spend the money on the dog!

NauticalDisaster · 30/08/2016 13:36

It would be very unreasonable to use their money. You said you would find the money elsewhere if you hadn't already kept their money in your account, do that, find the money elsewhere.

My ex used to do this to his older children and I found it morally wrong.

5moreminutes · 30/08/2016 13:37

I would say totally unreasonable because it isn't your money and you will not be able to afford to pay it back - not only that but once the money is gone you will still not be able to afford 25% of the ongoing treatment cost by the sound of it - or is that incorrect?

Won't you end up just using up all your DD's money and then running out and either having to borrow from elsewhere or have the dog put down once the money runs out? The money probably won't last long in the situation you describe, so you will have used their money just to put the dog through an operation and still have to put it down quite soon afterwards.

You sound unlikely to be able to pay back the money while the dog is alive and needing the ongoing treatment you mention, if you have no cash flow flexibility or reserves at all of your own.

If you want to do it you should ask the permission of the people who gave the children the money at the very least - how would you feel explaining to your father that you had spent the money he gave his grandchildren on the dog? Would he be OK with that?

charliethebear · 30/08/2016 13:39

YABU. Its not your money to spend, its your DCs. This is their decision to make, not yours, you need to ask them. Its irrelevent really how much money its going to make or not (although any interest it would make you also need to pay your DC which I imagine is very little). You also need to look at putting your dcs savings in a Childs Isa.
I would ask your dad to borrow first. I think it could be very easy to not pay your DCs back for a long time, and your much more likely to pay your dad back asap.