WIBU to use my DDs savings on treatment for our dog?

[BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy]

Ok - so my lovely DF has recently given my 2 DDs some money (£500 each) to put into their child trust fund. DH & I have not been too happy with the trust funds as, for the past couple of years, they have actually lost money and, with the current financial uncertainty post Brexit, we thought it would probably be better just to keep the money in our savings account and then transfer it to the trust fund when the markets are a bit more stable. This means that, although the money probably wouldn't make them anything, what with interest rates being so low, at least we wouldn't lose any of the money (as we have the past couple of years).

Anyway, we've now discovered that our much loved family dog is ill and is going to need a (very expensive) operation followed by more (expensive) ongoing treatment which, tbh, we're going to struggle to afford.

So - WIBU to consider using some of our DDs savings money to pay for the dog's treatment? Obviously we would pay the money back as soon as we could so that the money would be back in the account, probably within the year so our DDs wouldn't lose the money (maybe minus some negligible interest they might have earned on it).

Obviously, if we had put the money straight into the trust fund then the money wouldn't be available to us & we would have found the money for the dog from somewhere but, seeing as it is just sitting in our account atm, would it be terrible to borrow some so that we're not struggling for the next few months?

My supervisor had an old dog, age 12, who had cancer. The told him that her prognosis was good with surgery and chemo. He had the surgery and started the chemo for her, but ended up having her put to sleep anyway. The side affects of the chemo were too awful for her, and he didn't want to see her suffer anymore.

Also, we had our 10-year-old dog put to sleep when our boys were 4 & 6. They were sad when he died, but their sadness only lasted a few hours, and now (they're now 14 and 17) they don't really remember him. Having the dog put to sleep would probably not devastate the children like you might think it would.

Witchend makes some good points. Bear in mind that median survival times are just that- if you want to use the money, use it but mentally prepare yourself for the fact that you could spend it all and the dog could be one of the unlucky ones who survives a lot less time than the median.
You are probably not wrong to try surgery+chemo if you and the vet think it humane to do so; just surgery if it still offers a decent chance; or nothing but palliative care till it's time to say goodbye if you want.
The fact that you found the cancer early proves that you are a good attentive owner and the dog is lucky to have you as family. There is no right answer here and financial constraints are a common and perfectly valid reason for not always choosing plan A. Whatever you decide, be at peace with your decision because you are a good parent and a good owner trying to do your best for your family including the dog and that's all anyone can do.

justanotherposer oh do FOD. You dare to assume. I've never let any of our pets suffer, dogs, cats , the small furries. But money has never been an issue with treatment and my being upset doesn't come into it ,if they need to go then so be it. Yes it's devastating and you never forget them ,years on . Also being mid forties I've had a lot of loss. I rescue too so trust me, I've seen it and know when it's time.

I don't have pets so maybe I shouldn't be here, or maybe I can be more objective?

It doesn't seem terribly ethical to me, for a vet to take £1000s from a pet owner, or insurance company, to give chemo to a dog that's nearing the end of it's life anyway.

OP you know your dog.

If you think he'll benefit from the OP, then I would use it.
If you think his time has come, then it would be best for him to let him go.

Think about the dog first, and then about the money.

I thought I would pay anything to keep my old dog alive, for another day, but it was't the best for him.

If you think it's the best for your dog, don't hesitate.
The children will be fine without some £.

OP ignore the morons that say YABU

I thought I'd take a leaf out of your book of assumptions EttaJ and you've an ishoo about that, bless.

I agree with not letting a dog suffer and ended up putting my last dog to sleep because he was in terrible pain with chronic arthritis. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make & it broke my heart to do it but I did what was right for the dog and I always will put the needs of the dog first.

This case, however i feel is different. Apart from the cancer DDog is in otherwise good health and (as he's a smaller breed) could be expected to live another 4-5 years. As far as we can tell, the cancer hasn't spread and the Vet is pretty optimistic about his prognosis. Of course, it may all go horribly wrong but until we've tried, we won't know.

As for how we'd have funded it if we didn't have the money off my DF, I guess we would have put it on credit cards and paid it back over the same period we're intending to pay the DC back over.

Nope, OpenMe, the vet doesn't get a credit broker fee. In fact the opposite. The client pays the same amount overall to the credit company, the company take a little chunk of it and the vet gets the rest (about 90-92% IIRC). So the vet takes a little hit but still makes enough to cover their costs, and that 8-10% hit is for the security of the credit company essentially guaranteeing the loan and doing the chasing.
Not all vets are set up with this system and if the OP reckons it will take 8mo to pay back I don't know if the credit company would take it on without charging interest (I don't actually know if they do charge interest or are purely funded by the chunk they take out of the vet fee).

Why don't you do that then and save yourself the ethical dilemma?

Okay, so the choice is to m:

1. use your children's money (which was given to them by someone else, not you, or I'd say differently); or

2. do what you would have done had nobody gifted them that money: I.e. Use a credit card.

I'd do 2. Up to you, obviously.

I think some day your DDs will be happy that their savings helped save the family dog
Some how I missed the bit about the dog being 11 years old and having cancer.

TBH in this situation I actually think that it is cruel to put an 11 year old dog through all of this treatment.

If it was a 4 year old dog I might think differently but as hard as it is for you I think that it is time to say goodbye to this loyal family member.

It is an interesting ethical question. All vets can do is estimate costs, guesstimate what is likely to happen if they do or do not treat, and crystal-ball as best they can about the pet's chances of not getting something else terminal in the near future. It's an inexact science (even a good mechanic won't promise that your car will pass its MOT next year if you spend £1500 on it now, and mechanical systems are more predictable than biological ones). All we can do is present the options, let the owner choose and reassess every so often to make sure we are still being humane to the pet.
As far as cancer in particular is concerned- I heard a veterinary oncologist explain it like this, "Our goals are prioritised differently to himan oncologists. Quantity of life carries much less weight than quality. A dog's life on chemo has to be at least as good as it was before chemo or we stop. So we can only use about half the dose rates human patients would receive. As a result, we will never get the as good survival statistics as in humans, but nor will our patients be put through what human patients can choose to put themselves through". She explains this to all her patients' owners before they are asked to decide what to do.

I agree with posters who say think of the dog, OP. How old is the dog, that could have an impact? We PTS our dog, but it wasn't the money - it was the fact that the vet himself told us that as the dog was old it would be putting his body under more pressure and pain by having the op, an op which he might not have survived. If he had been younger and more likely to survive and benefit from the operation, we would have gone through with the op. Think about what's the best for ddog, and then if you decide to do the op I see nothing wrong with you using the kids money. The dog is a member of the family for one, and I'm sorry, I wouldnt refuse the dog the operation purely on the fact that dad gave the money and her might not approve what it is spent on! You have the money now OP and it is up to you what it goes on, provided you repay it. What your dad wants has no bearing in it. Neither does the fact that it's your dds money - which really its not considering theyre young and youre controlling it for them - they are too young to decide what to do with the cash. If you decide the dog needs the op, for gods sake don't refuse it because some people on here tell you it's wrong to spend the childs money. 1) it's not a frivolous thing and 2) it's under your control until such a time your children turn 18. What your dad wants has no bearing on the matter as 3) once he has given the money he has no right to say what it can and can't be spent on, certainly not considering youre intending on paying it back. Do the reasonable man test - do you think, if your children were 18 instead of young, and you asked them for a loan of the money, they would say yes? If so go for it. And I think most adults would loan their parents money for the family pet. Go for it OP.

Unsure if anyone has said this already but you can switch the child trust fund over to an ISA.

To everyone saying to put the dog to sleep - just because the dog is 11 years old, he/she could still have a good few years left yet! My little Jack Russell is 10, and is diabetic meaning X2 insulin jabs a day, regular blood tests/vet visits and also had cancer lumps removed. She could easily have another 6 or 7 years left, and I would never give up on her that easily.
However I would never borrow Money that wasn't mine, and if that money wasn't there I would find another way, borrow from somewhere else or pay in instalments

I'd ask the vet what the side effects of the treatment will be. I know two people who treated their dogs for cancer and they both regretted it in the end. The dogs don't know what is happening, it's not like a person when everything can be explained, I wouldnt put my 13 year old Jack Russell through demo.