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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to use my DDs savings on treatment for our dog?

116 replies

BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy · 30/08/2016 13:09

Ok - so my lovely DF has recently given my 2 DDs some money (£500 each) to put into their child trust fund. DH & I have not been too happy with the trust funds as, for the past couple of years, they have actually lost money and, with the current financial uncertainty post Brexit, we thought it would probably be better just to keep the money in our savings account and then transfer it to the trust fund when the markets are a bit more stable. This means that, although the money probably wouldn't make them anything, what with interest rates being so low, at least we wouldn't lose any of the money (as we have the past couple of years).

Anyway, we've now discovered that our much loved family dog is ill Sad and is going to need a (very expensive) operation followed by more (expensive) ongoing treatment which, tbh, we're going to struggle to afford.

So - WIBU to consider using some of our DDs savings money to pay for the dog's treatment? Obviously we would pay the money back as soon as we could so that the money would be back in the account, probably within the year so our DDs wouldn't lose the money (maybe minus some negligible interest they might have earned on it).

Obviously, if we had put the money straight into the trust fund then the money wouldn't be available to us & we would have found the money for the dog from somewhere but, seeing as it is just sitting in our account atm, would it be terrible to borrow some so that we're not struggling for the next few months?

OP posts:
SparklyShinyThings · 30/08/2016 13:39

No I wouldn't and I love animals, I'd find another way.

The money should have gone to their trust funds as per the grandfathers wishes, I very much doubt he planned for you to ignore him and see it as general spending money.

You have a pet so need to be responsible, if insurance doesn't cover everything then you need to have a contingency pot for any care needs.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 30/08/2016 13:40

I think you need to have a plan on how and when you're going to pay it back if you do use the money.

Sometime you have posters on here who have found out there parents used their savings and never paid it back. I expect the parents originally did intend to pay it back but it probably was never a good time and other things cropped up or they found a luxury which could benefit the whole family and convinced themselves that it's ok to do that instead of paying back the money.

OpenMe · 30/08/2016 13:40

I think it would be wrong. If you can't raise the money yourself, how are you going to pay it back?

What would your dad say?

eightbluebirds · 30/08/2016 13:40

Non issue here. If I didn't have any savings of my own and not a lot of option then I'd do the same but only if i knew I'd have more than enough time to pay it back.

Caipora · 30/08/2016 13:43

No, I think you should consider the options that are best for your dog. How old is your dog? Is the treatment going to lead to unnecesarry suffering? Will it extend your dogs life considerably and improve your dogs quality of life? If yes, then talk to your vet about payment options or try to get a loan you can afford.
Your DF gave your children the money for the future. The current situation is irrelevant to the state of most trust funds. The market fluctuates. I would put it in their trust funds ASAP and sort out your dog with your own money.

2rebecca · 30/08/2016 13:44

I wouldn't. It isn't your money to spend. You could ask your father for money towards the dog's care but he didn't give that money for the dog he gave it to his grandchildren. Also if you have no savings now I don't see how you know you are going to be able to pay the money back particularly if the dog's condition will be expensive for years.
If I was your father and found money I'd given to the kids had gone to a dog without someone asking me if it was OK I'd be wishing I'd kept the children's funds under my control and not given them to their parents.
It isn't your money to reallocate.

CoolCarrie · 30/08/2016 13:46

Definitely borrow the money, your dog is a family member. I don't imagine your children will mind, it's not as if you are spending it on unnecessary things.

Babyroobs · 30/08/2016 13:47

Have you asked your df if he minds seeing as he gifted the money. If the money will be repaid soon I don't see a problem and would most likely do the same myself.

Floralnomad · 30/08/2016 13:48

I think you should ask your father if he minds , I can't see how you are really going to pay the money back to your children when your own savings are at £1.74 , as that doesn't indicate that you will have the funds .

Houseconfusion · 30/08/2016 13:48

No brainer really. Treatment for a family member will always win over savings for a future something.

What did you say? It's a dog not a family member? Ah okay.

MaudGonneMad · 30/08/2016 13:48

YABU.

You can't afford to pay your children back, by the sounds of things.

Houseconfusion · 30/08/2016 13:49

Posted too soon. Your dog is part of your family. His or her treatment comes first.

And FFS it's not a new car or a holiday. Jesus wept.

WalrusGumboot · 30/08/2016 13:52

Personally I'd stick it on the credit card and then move it to a zero interest one at a later date. Takes the family politics out of it.

shirleyknotanotherbot · 30/08/2016 13:53

YABU. It's not your money.

Could you ask the grandparents if they can lend you some more money for your dog's treatment? You shouldn't have a dog if you can't afford it.

tofutti · 30/08/2016 13:53

@Floral - their savings won't always total £1.74. They have years to save up the money.

YANBU, OP. I think some day your DDs will be happy that their savings helped save the family dog.

BastardGoDarkly · 30/08/2016 13:56

So your dog's really old and really ill? What's the vets prognosis after this operation and treatment?

I adore my dog, but am very sensible about what I'll put my dog through when he gets very old.

5moreminutes · 30/08/2016 13:57

dog is ill sad and is going to need a (very expensive) operation followed by more (expensive) ongoing treatment which, tbh, we're going to struggle to afford.

The £1000 which your father gave to your children is not going to "save" the life of dog is it - it is a sticking plaster but will run out very quickly, leaving you unable to afford ongoing treatment and owing your children £1000 which you will also be unable to pay back, unless "something turns up".

Original poster
BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy · 30/08/2016 13:58

The dog's ongoing treatment will only be for a few months so it's not something we would be paying in perpetuity. The trouble we're having is finding the lump sum payment to pay for the operation and initial round of treatment. If we could pay the Vet in instalments we would be fine iyswim. As I said in a pp, we would normally have a bit saved up for emergencies like this but this has just come off the back of 2 very expensive car repairs which wiped out this fund.

Instead of replenishing this fund, therefore we would be paying back or DDs. We've worked out that we would be able to pay the money back at about £100-£150 a month (on top of the ongoing dog cost) so, based on the amount we would be planning to borrow, it would be paid back within 6-8 months. I certainly won't be 'forgetting' to pay it back or be making it a habit. This is purely a one off.

Our DDs are still quite little (4yo & 6yo).

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 30/08/2016 13:58

Do it, especially if it's just the excess

And bear in mind that the best time t invest in shares is when the market is low. You might lose in the short term if they fall further but are more likely to gain long term.

bakeoffcake · 30/08/2016 13:59

It depends

How old is the dog and what is wrong with them?
Is the op going to completely cure the dog or is it likely to get ill again soon thus requiring more money?

SuburbanRhonda · 30/08/2016 13:59

If you already have no savings yourselves, what will be changing in order for you to be able to pay back this money which doesn't belong to you? If everything stays the same I really can't see how you'll manage to pay it back.

WalrusGumboot · 30/08/2016 14:02

Ask the vet - they may very well offer you instalments.

5moreminutes · 30/08/2016 14:03

In light of your update it is less unreasonable because - but make damn sure you do repay them. It is till a really dodgy thing to do without asking your DDad because this money was never yours at any point in time...

As somebody else said the time when the market is low (now and probably at least until the Brexit issue is resolved) is the right time to put money into the CTF (effectively buying stocks) for your children - you don't wait until prices are high to buy, that is just so illogical it beggars belief!

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 30/08/2016 14:04

I would.

Money is there to be used, the dog is part of the family.

Laiste · 30/08/2016 14:09

if we had put the money straight into the trust fund then the money wouldn't be available to us & we would have found the money for the dog from somewhere

Where? To be honest i really wouldn't be seeing my children's money from my father as 'available'. I'd get it from where ever the elsewhere is.

Plus, to be brutally honest, as the dog is old, and the amount of money is this much trouble to rustle up, then i'd be calling the treatment an out of reach and unjustifiable expense for you. sorry