WIBU to use my DDs savings on treatment for our dog?

[BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy]

Ok - so my lovely DF has recently given my 2 DDs some money (£500 each) to put into their child trust fund. DH & I have not been too happy with the trust funds as, for the past couple of years, they have actually lost money and, with the current financial uncertainty post Brexit, we thought it would probably be better just to keep the money in our savings account and then transfer it to the trust fund when the markets are a bit more stable. This means that, although the money probably wouldn't make them anything, what with interest rates being so low, at least we wouldn't lose any of the money (as we have the past couple of years).

Anyway, we've now discovered that our much loved family dog is ill and is going to need a (very expensive) operation followed by more (expensive) ongoing treatment which, tbh, we're going to struggle to afford.

So - WIBU to consider using some of our DDs savings money to pay for the dog's treatment? Obviously we would pay the money back as soon as we could so that the money would be back in the account, probably within the year so our DDs wouldn't lose the money (maybe minus some negligible interest they might have earned on it).

Obviously, if we had put the money straight into the trust fund then the money wouldn't be available to us & we would have found the money for the dog from somewhere but, seeing as it is just sitting in our account atm, would it be terrible to borrow some so that we're not struggling for the next few months?

Zucker- so you reckon the OP should ask to borrow the money from the vets' children rather than her own? Because asking for instalments- essentially an unsecured interest free loan- is pretty much doing this. Vet practices are mostly small private businesses. Even the likes of Vets4Pets are joint ventures of individual vets with the parent company. Their salaries and those of their nurses (both usually way lower than doctors+human nurses, dentists+dental nurses btw) are on the line. It's not as if vets keep vast sums of money to buffer client debt. They need cash flow. The roof over my daughter's head and the nappies on her bum depend on cash flow. If we risk giving a dog hundreds of pounds' worth of expensive chemo drugs, and then the client doesn't pay, we can't plead with our drug wholesaler to write some off or wait a bit longer. They get paid in full, every month, on the dot, not a day late. Ditto the anaesthetic gas suppliers, the computer system, electricity and phone providers etc etc etc. The employees need paid in full and on time. They all have rent or mortgages to pay and many have families depending on them.

So if your DF hadn't gifted your DD's money, what would you have done then OP to pay for the vets bill and treatment?

Persian's idea is a good one. Think you need to be on housing benefit to be eligible for PDSA help but worth trying.
Also, ask your vet what the difference in survival rates are between surgery alone and surgery+chemo. Surgery alone might be a reasonable compromise if chemo only adds a few % to the chances of success.

They were ended in January 2011 so even if a 4yo was turning 5 tomorrow s/he would not have been eligible.

I was wondering if maybe s/he had a junior isa instead and if so any advice might be different?

Now I'm just a bit confused!

*The OP doesn't know that.

And to ask them would be putting them under terrible pressure to say yes.*

All I can say is that I can't imagine anyone feeling grateful as an adult to hear their dp's say "We wanted to use this money when you were younger to save the dog, and then replace it, but we felt it would be immoral to touch your money, so we let the dog die. I know that was very upsetting, but hey, at least you got that extra 0.0000002 pence in interest!"

They need the money now, for something that is very important and they are going to replace it. I don't see the issue...

We wanted to use this money when you were younger to save the dog, and then replace it, but we felt it would be immoral to touch your money, so we let the dog die. I know that was very upsetting, but hey, at least you got that extra 0.0000002 pence in interest!

Like anyone who wasn't a complete knob would frame the conversation in that way.

Certainly, I don't think they should let the dog die.

But they are employed adults; there must be other places to borrow the money from, and that's what some of us would do in the same situation.

Well powershower, take a deep breath there and calm yourself. Some vets DO actually offer the instalment service and I'm sure if their children were going to go hungry as a result they would say no we don't do that! I still wouldn't take the children's money though.

10/10 for dramatic over reaction though.

The dog is 11 and has cancer tbh OP in my opinion the time has come to say goodbye

I think you have to ask your df. He's given the money expressly for their trust fund. If it isn't going into it then you should let him know even of it is something similar.

I would just worry whether you'll be able to pay the money back in reasonable time too. If you really are that much are you looking at paying back within a year? Two years? Ten years?

And also you need to look at the treatment you are being offers and find out success rates etc. Same as you would for a person. If it's invasive treatment that will give them an extra 6weeks it's very different from something with no side effects that gives another 5+ years. And don't just take your vet's word for it, however much you trust them. As the money goes to them so it's in their interest to do it.

Justanotherposter prepare yourself. I agree with you but didn't fancy the wrath of MN at my door.

Surely vets who allow payment by installment are simply acting as credit brokers (ie selling loans) and it's another source of income for them. If they don't offer that service and can't say no, running their own business probably doesn't suit them.

Although I tend to agree with JustAnotherPoster

OP ignore the morons that say YABU and those that say it's just a dog ,mi hope they do not have any pets. When you have a pet you are well aware that just like a child, you must feed it, love and care for it, provide access to all necessary medical care. Putting it down!? Because of money? We have spent $$$$ on ours and wouldn't ever consider not doing so .

I think you should ask your father if he minds
I had assumed that the OP's father had died but if he is still alive then I definitely think that you should ask him before you do anything.

If my DF gave me money to save for my DS and I spent it on something else he would not be happy.

11 is quite a god age for a dog... I'm in the minority I know but I don't really believe in treating long term illnesses in old animals. No need for them to be in pain and suffering because you don't want to say good bye.

OP, don't ask your father, don't ask your kids and don't ask permission from the Queen. These are your kids, you are completely entitled to make decisions of this nature for them. Borrow the money, get the dog the treatment it needs and pay it back. No massive moral quandry here.

I'm not un-calm. Just heaved a weary sigh when I saw that-as on practically every MN thread that concerns a big unexpected vet bill- someone piped cheerily, "Ask the vet to do instalments!" like it's no big deal, problem solved.
You should borrow from friends or family before you go asking vets if you can borrow from them.
Just thought of another idea- some vets in the UK have followed America's lead and started offering Care Credit (think it's called Carefree Credit here?). Basically a third company pay the vets and you pay that third company. It's different from a payday loan in that the rates are much lower. It works because the vets are only get about 90% of their fee, the credit company keeps the rest which pays their staff to set up the loans, chase non payers and write off the odd bad debt (they are much better than vets at chasing bad debt). This might be worth looking into, if OP is certain she can repay the debt within the timeframe. Though personally I think I'd raid the children's piggy banks first if I decided to treat the dog.

EttaJ I do have a dog currently and have had dogs all my life, I'm in my 40's, Being a pet owner also involves sometimes making that hard choice, unless your 1 of those that cant bear to let anything go and would rather the dog suffered so you wouldnt have to be upset

If the dog is 11 sounds like he/she's had 1 hell of a good life just from the OP's dedication to try and get the money, Let him\her go OP there's no guarantee how long he'll be around for even after the surgery, and god forbid he passed on the table then your daughters would be out of pocket and still no dog. Bid him a fond farewell and let the old lad have some sleep and be certain in the knowledge you did the best you could, good luck OP

YABU.

It's not yours.

OpenMe - no, we cannot act as credit brokers, that is very against the law. So vets cannot charge interest on an outstanding debt and I have never known a vet who did this.

The dog is 11 and has cancer tbh OP in my opinion the time has come to say goodbye

^^this

And I absolutely love dogs and my 10 year old lab is my best friend and constant companion but I wouldn't put an 11 year old dog through surgery and chemo.

We wanted to use this money when you were younger to save the dog, and then replace it, but we felt it would be immoral to touch your money, so we let the dog die. I know that was very upsetting, but hey, at least you got that extra 0.0000002 pence in interest!

My DH had dogs growing up and he would be absolutely fine hearing this - his family all loved their dogs but they didn't believe in spending serious amounts of money on medical treatment for pets. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those who do - just that it's not the case that everyone would feel the same way about it. He would, I think, be quite annoyed if his parents had spent his savings on their dog.

If it were money that the OP and her DH had set aside themselves, I'd say they should just go for it. The fact that someone else has given them the money is what makes it more complicated. I can understand why the OP doesn't want to ask her father for his views, given that he'd try and give her money he doesn't have - I guess, given that, the way I'd decide is really honestly thinking about whether I would be embarrassed if my dad found out about what I'd done or whether he and I would both think it was a reasonable decision.

The arrangement I was thinking of was as you describe the Care Credit scheme powershower. The vet introduces the client to the lender i.e. brokers the credit and presumably takes a fee for doing so.

Think you need to be on housing benefit to be eligible for PDSA help but worth trying
You do have to be on HB to be eligible for free treatment but as they can provide treatment at a much reduced rate I was thinking that maybe they could treat the dog and the OP pay this reduced rate.

I buy the Persian's cat mouthwash from the PDSA because it is cheaper than anywhere else so I give them what I would have paid elsewhere.

I would rather the PDSA had the extra money than a profit-making business.