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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it reasonable to breastfeed in the baby changing room?

78 replies

UmbongoUnchained · 29/08/2016 10:39

I was out for lunch yesterday and there was a huge queue of people outside the changing room, my brother being one of them. A lady was breastfeeding in there which I thought was fair enough, maybe she's shy. But she was in there for 45 minutes and it was the only changing room in the restaurant and the smell of pooey nappies was beginning to waft!
What do you think? I know the baby had to be fed, but there also wasn't any other places to change any of the other babies. There was no chair in there so she must of been awfully uncomfortable standing or sitting on the floor.
Do you think places should have a changing table in the main toilets as well to avoid queues? Or would people find that gross?

OP posts:
Gmbk · 29/08/2016 10:40

I think she should bf where she likes BUT not at the total inconvenience of others. Was there a secluded part of the restaurant she could have used?

Babyamazon · 29/08/2016 10:41

She should have fed the baby in the restaurant not the toilet.

Women shouldn't feel that they have to hide in toilets feeding.

CalmYaTits · 29/08/2016 10:42

Tbh I find it sad that she felt the need to hide.

Original poster
UmbongoUnchained · 29/08/2016 10:43

Yeah it is sad!

OP posts:
insancerre · 29/08/2016 10:44

She should have fed her baby in the restaurant
She was wrong to take so long in the baby changing space

Did nobody say anything?

Maybebabybee · 29/08/2016 10:44

No she definitely shouldn't have been in there. I agree it's sad she felt she couldn't do it in the restaurant.

Original poster
UmbongoUnchained · 29/08/2016 10:45

She got a few annoyed looks but no, nobody said anything. She did very embarrassed.

OP posts:
Original poster
UmbongoUnchained · 29/08/2016 11:03

Looked*

OP posts:
Doggity · 29/08/2016 11:05

She should be allowed to feed whenever she wants. It would be sad if she felt she had to feed in there but she may have chosen for other reasons.

Oldraver · 29/08/2016 11:08

I wouldn't want to feed my child in what is in effect a toilet. And she was selfish to hog it to herself for so long.

Someone did this at a supermarket...the changing room was a massive room with a double changing space and a toilet in the corner, and a couple locked the door while she b/f, with a confused queue outside

hazeimcgee · 29/08/2016 11:08

She can obviously feed anywhere she wants but i think blocking up the only baby change in a restaurant for 45 minutes is unreasonable. If she'd breasrfed in the only toilet for adults (rather than effectively the only toilet for babies( there would be more uproar

MrsJoeyMaynard · 29/08/2016 11:10

Unreasonable to feed the baby in there for so long if it was the only changing area.

But yes, also sad that she felt that she had to hide away to feed her baby.

Lunde · 29/08/2016 11:15

Blocking the only changing area for such a long period would seem rather rude - surely a quiet corner could be found. Is the baby changing room also the disabled toilet?

Original poster
UmbongoUnchained · 29/08/2016 11:16

Yes it is I forgot about that!

OP posts:
Maybebabybee · 29/08/2016 11:21

It really isn't that big a deal feeding in public especially when you've done it a few times

I say that as someone with huge boobs and a baby that likes to pull off and look around a lot.

canary1 · 29/08/2016 11:27

I wouldn't bother thinking poor her, how sad she felt she had too hide away etc. I would just be v annoyed someone selfishly hogged the area.

Recently happened to me in a restaurant, one ladies' toilet which had baby change facilities. A woman was inside with her toddler for about 15 minutes - I was outside desperate for the toilet. The staff wouldn't let me use theirs, so they knocked on the door to tell her hurry/ ask if she was OK as she had been in there for so long. When the door opened, she had kid- paraphernalia all over the place, with an ipad playing cartoons on the changing table, change may on foot, toys on floor. I have no idea what the hell she was doing in there for so long but v fed up she selfishly hogged the only customer toilet for so long!

shiveringhiccup · 29/08/2016 11:29

Her baby might not have been able to concentrate on feeding in public - too much to look at for an older baby, or baby might have been overstimulated and needed quiet time.

I think it's unreasonable to hog the only baby change/ disabled loo though. There's other options to feeding in public - go outside and sit on a bench in the restaurant garden, sit in the car, quiet corner inside. Or go home if it's a feeding marathon!

Was she a very new mum? She might be having problems bfing or might not have worked out how to bf in public yet.

Maybebabybee · 29/08/2016 11:30

There's not much "how" about bfeeding in public surely, other than 'get boob out and latch baby on'

Cheby · 29/08/2016 11:34

Yes it's unreasonable to hog the baby change and worse still the disabled toilet for a feed. But some places have baby feed and change written on the door, which confuses things.

I would have knocked after 10 minutes and shouted through the door that there was a queue.

QueenLizIII · 29/08/2016 11:46

She should just have fed the baby in the restaurant.

jusdepamplemousse · 29/08/2016 11:50

She was being unreasonable but tbh I would feel there was probably something kind of blinding her judgment and try to be charitable. Feeding can be so hard and so all consuming at the start / during a growth spurt / nursing strike / whatever.

Probably someone should have knocked and gently explained the situation and seen if a solution could be reached?

I do think it's reasonable to use the changing area but not to lock the door. Sometimes DD won't feed where it's busy so I've done this in big shops etc. Although I did have one family come in, see me, huff and puff and go and stand outside and complain until I left as apparently they couldn't change their child's bum while I fed in there HmmConfused.

jusdepamplemousse · 29/08/2016 11:50

Just an aside but so many where you can where you can't why you should why you shouldn't BF threads atm. Weird.

Becky546 · 29/08/2016 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imwithspud · 29/08/2016 11:57

Tbh I find it sad that she felt the need to hide.

This, I can see it from both sides. Chances are she was a new mum, still getting to grips/feeling embarrassed about bf in public, maybe her baby fusses at the breast a lot and she, sadly, felt she would be 'safe' from judgement in there. I bet she was mortified when she came out and saw all the people waiting.

That said, if I were in the queue waiting for that long then yes I would have been annoyed, and I probably would have found an alternative such as going to the car to change baby or another restaurant. I generally try to be sympathetic if waiting for someone to finish in the changing room as I know poo explosions/leaks can happen and that they obviously take some time to sort out but 45minutes is an awfully long time.

Not sure what could have been done about it though really, so once my baby was changed I would have forgotten about it and moved on.

roseteapot101 · 29/08/2016 12:04

poor woman she must have been really shy and were else do you breastfed when shy =/ a changing room better than a toilet but still no chair .Personally i would not want to feed in the toilets.But as a shy person myself personally when i was breast feeding i would find a squishy chair in a cafe and used a breastfeeding cover

i think a changing table in woman's toilets would help alleviate long waits but i dont know what the majority of people would think of it.I would not mind

it was unreasonable for her to hog the changing room so long but as you dont know the reason why its hard to judge

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