Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

[40andfucked]

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

Wit - you have a disabled child - use the disabled toilet.
I don't understand why you think it is more appropriate for him to be in the ladies than in the disabled.
You can get yourself a Radar key.

My son is 10. I take him to the football regularly. He's gone in alone for a while. Until the back end of last season. He'd gone in, done his wee (cubicle) and was washing his hands when a bloke approached him, trying to start up a conversation. Son said he felt concerned a bit, but that someone else had diverted the other guy, and son had left to come back to me.

Since then I've been a lot less comfortable letting him go in alone. At football particularly, although very busy public places are concerning for me too. I've had an old boy surreptitiously touch his leg whil sitting the other side of ds with me on the other, on broad daylight.

I don't think you were being U tbh op.

I think secondary school is the cut off, or once they hit puberty, or once they become too uncomfortable.

Same as Soozey, my 10 yr old refuses to go in the ladies.

boys aren't monsters Right, I agree with you; they're not.

But nor are men, so what's the big scary drama about boys weeing in front of them?

Do you not see the disconnect between 'boys aren't monsters' but 'once they grow up, they're scary men'?

Men aren't monsters or scary however given that such horrific attacks do seem to happen in men's toilets I'd prefer to keep my child with me.

Okay then; don't worry about what girls (or their mothers) might prefer, then.

Horrific attacks? Oh come on

Baby, I ask you again: 'horrific attacks', in a busy pub men's room? Just silly. What do you think will happen, all the other men will just stand there and watch?

Somewhere secluded, you might have a point.

It's not about weeing in front of men- more about me leaving him outside by himself while I go in the ladies with the little ones.

Never heard of an attack in a loo bit o don't want him out of my sight for the time it takes me to take 3 other kids for a wee. Not unreasonable in my opinion

Boys being raped in toilets is horrific.

I wouldn't not want anyone to feel uncomfortable however if my 8 year old son is upsetting someone by coming into a toilet with me and going into a locked cubicle then they are being as hysterical as you think I am being.

Because DS (10) has refused to go in the ladies for about a year now, we choose a place to meet between both loos.

Koala that's a reasonable point you have to judge each situation as it comes.

Babyamazon- of course it's horrific. And rare, thankfully.

TotallySpies You're not unreasonable for that one bit.

It is rare yes, people often compare these things to your odds of having a car accident and say we use our cars everyday.

Although the thought of a boy being attacked in a toilet seems so far worse that I'd prefer to take no chance at all.

Not read all the replies, but ten? In the ladies with you?! Wow, I have two boys and at 10 they definitely go to the toilets by themselves!
I have a 9 year old, and he'd be mortified having to go in the ladies with me!
He's been going by himself for the past couple of years (with me standing right outside the door)

Ok, I know it's probably not right, and that women abuse too. But the fact of the matter is that a large amount of abusers are opportunists. I'm not willing to put my child into a situation where he/she is the target of an opportunist. Also a large percentage of abusers have issues with substance abuse.

I understand it's the unknown- when my son first started refusing to in the ladies (aged 9) I felt uncomfortable. I then realised that men made an effort to have no contact with whatsoever. It was my problem to get over- the vast majority of men are very decent, and those who aren't will generally prey on vulnerable children rather than skulk around toilets.

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys
Thank you for that comment- this thread has made me really ranty tonight because if I'd been we judged by a woman in the loo in my circumstance if have been really upset and cross!

10 is far too old to be going in to the ladies loos. The barmaid was right.

There seems to be a lot of hysteria surrounding boys safety here.

I would hazard a guess that girls and women are much more likely to be the victims of sexual assault.

I wouldn't like to see a 10 yo in the womens' toilets.

I stopped going to a pool locally because the no older than 8yo rule in female changing rooms was routinely ignored by women who felt their up to 14 yo DS was the exception and how could they send poor baby alone into the male changing rooms (which were staffed) in case of all the paedos. After the first two times of approx 12-13 year old boys staring and sniggering as I tried to get changed was quite enough.

My son went to the gents age 10.