Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

[40andfucked]

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

"Well I bet alot if dad's here love having the perfect excise not to take their kids out given the wives and girlfriends adamant that their dds won't go into the men's loos. "

Nonsense. Still don't want my dd (9) in a men's loo when my husband takes her out. We take her out together and separately and the loo is obviously not a problem when I take her but is when dh goes out with her. And no my husband isn't looking for an excuse to go down the pub or some such other stupid cliches. He's too busy cooking our tea or doing the shopping or menu planning.

No one needs to use a changing room. I take my son to facilities that have an accessible changing room. When you need the loo you need the loo.

Actually it is hard to tell the difference.

Nope, very easy.

Have you only just realised i've not been serious?

Just very irritating then, what was the point? Other than troll-like behaviour?

People don't need to use them you're right, but when they do use them I'm wondering if they have the same thought process as they do with loos, thats all.

As a new Mumsnet user can I just make an observation that so many of you are so rude to each other!

No, you can't. That would be even ruder.

I wouldn't take ds in a female changing room because it would go beyond what I would consider a reasonable adjustment whereas him being in the female toilet would in some circumstances be a reasonable adjustment

Actually it is hard to tell the difference.

Maybe for you.

I genuinely don't get why all the angst - I think this is almost making problems where there are none.

I think it's causing problems not to allow your NT 10 year old not to go into sex/gender appropriate toilets on his own.

Some believe that the constant idea that women should accept everyone into their spaces is another example of how women and their thoughts and feelings don't matter as long a someone else feels comfortable.

This with bells on.

No really, it's why peoadophiles normally don't make a distinction between pre puberty male and females.

It's absolutely society imposed distinctions which make boys and girls different until puberty, Hair, clothes and so on. Body shape and fine hair is normally the same.

I can usually tell the difference past toddlerhood by the face, cheek bones for example

Look at the movie Tomboy, or the Stranger things series.

I think it's causing problems not to allow your NT 10 year old not to go into sex/gender appropriate toilets on his own.*

Ok specifically what problems was the OP causing in this specific instance?

You can't tell. That's why everyone thinks my sons are girls and that my niece is a boy.

Clothing and hairstyle are the only way.

Bollox about cheekbones, boys can have feminine shaped faces and vice versa.

Which one looks like the girl here

i.ytimg.com/vi/b9EkMc79ZSU/maxresdefault.jpg

Be honest.

The one holding on to the pole at the bottom front?

That's a boy. The girl in the series has the shaved head.

I'd guess one of the middle two but either could easily be mistaken for a boy.

This is what she lokks like with hair and in girls clothes www.imdb.com/name/nm5611121/mediaviewer/rm938416384

Everyone will just say they knew but no one can tell for sure.

Zoé HÉRAN in "Tomboy" medias.unifrance.org/medias/230/38/75494/format_page/media.jpg

Zoé HÉRAN wioth long hair diffusionph.cccommunication.biz/jpgok/RepGR/494/494707_19.jpg

Boy or girl?

It's Elijah Wood but with Gender neutral hair.