Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

[40andfucked]

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

@asdfghjjkl
Oh dear! Who are you to judge?

You are missing the point MIND because girls are not at risk of being raped or abused in a women's toilet by other women. Boys are.

Yes they are. There's always a risk.

Also, men fuck other men in men's toilets. I don't think gay women have sex in women's toilets
I don't even know what to say to that. Fucking hell that's stupid. And actually yes I have seen women have sex in public toilets.

jason not sure why you're replying to me there, I've never told a person off for being in a toilet and this conversation isn't about gender neutral people is it?

I think some women here are very intolerant.

If I saw a boy around 10 in a women's loo in say John Lewis with his mum I'd wonder why. If I saw one in a busy service station I might wonder why just a little. If I saw one in a service station late at night, I'd understand.

If I saw one in outside loos in the street I'd understand why the mum was being 'cautious' and the same in a club full of drunk men.

It all depends on the circs.

you're replying to me there, I've never told a person off for being in a toilet and this conversation isn't about gender neutral people is it?

I'm talking about a8mints comment.

this conversation isn't about gender neutral people is it

Okay i want to make it clear i said girls in Gender netrual CLOTHING.

I wouldn't give a toss if I saw a boy in the women's toilets, wouldn't care at all. I just think it's odd for a mum to make her NT ten year old go with her.

x posts

sorry jason that's what I meant.

I don't even know what to say to that

How about 'yes that is a point' ?

You've seen women having sex with other women in a public toilet? How? Were you in the cubicle with them or were they going down on each other by the hand dryer?

This comment:

I have actually challenged boys in the ladies' before now, well not challenged but just said to them 'you are a funny looking girl!' they usually look very embarrassed and I hope it dissuades them from going in again.

My boy has just gone 10 and I would absolutely have done the same as you!
Can't see what the problem is, and why some people are so shocked by it.
Your job is to look out for him, and that's what you were doing.

MindSweeper "I'm still in shock a NT 10 year old would want to go into the women's with his mum."

Assuming you're referring to the OP's son, he doesn't want to! She said herself "He hates it"

Yes that, a girl can look how you might expect a boy to look but still be a girl and identify as a girl but be mistaken for a boy.

According to this thread she'd be terrifying all the girls and they'd be holding onto the wee.

Of course in rl no one notices who's in the toilet.

polly

No because it isn't. You sound hysterical 'OH NO NOT THE MALE TOILETS, MEN HAVE SEX IN THEIR '

Maybe HEARD would be a better word to use.

Ah jason I see, what a twatty thing to do.

mynest thanks I missed that. Poor lad.

My brother's mates weren't family though were they? When I was about 13 they were all in their late teens and sometimes there were about 5 of them in the house. Sometimes I needed the toilet and sometimes I was on my period.

I would much rather have been in a public toilet changing my pad tbh where there was a 10 year old boy with his mum, rather than a group of 18 year olds in the next room!
That's probably why I have a bit more perspective than some of you lot. A ten year old boy, especially if it's one you've never even met, is nothing. That's why I think you're all being really hysterical.

What your parents allowed strange boys in the house? With a GIRL there? How awful that must have been for you.

there* cannot believe I just wrote 'their'

DS (10) hasn't been in the toilets with me for years and years...

I personally don't care about a 10 year old in the ladies but I would stick up for the women and girls who do care. (I would have cared when I was 10)
They have every right not to want 10 year olds in the womens.

Baby no I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying that a ten year old boy is nothing compared to a group of teenagers who your brother embarrasses you in front of. Typical sibling behaviour Didn't mean they weren't allowed to be in the house!
It really wasn't awful for me at all. I just locked myself in my room so my brother couldn't torment me or went out with friends!

No meandmy I'm agreeing with you!

I think it's ridiculous that anyone would be so upset by a boy in the toilets with his mother.

I also had a brother who had friends round. I survived.

I personally don't care about a 10 year old in the ladies but I would stick up for the women and girls who do care.

Yeah me too.

I'm just thinking back to when I was a tween and even though it sounds silly now, I wouldn't have wanted to pee and poop with a boy effectively in the same room. It's immature I know, but we are immature in that age. I had a thing about people even hearing me pee at that age

My DS9 is ASD and PDA and comes in with me. It helps that he is little and can pass for 7. He has very high anxiety and can't stand hand dryers and would have problems going into the men's alone. As I'm a single parent we have 2 options - ladies with me or disabled. Unfortunately I've had abuse from a wheelchair user for taking him in there before - as we can walk we shouldn't use the disabled loo apparently. This being despite DS being SEN and me needing the grab rails due to Hypermobility (I even have them at home), nope, disabled loos are for wheelchair users only. I know she was wrong but I felt about an inch tall as people were staring and have been wary ever since. Also had an old bloke yell at me once because his bladder issues apparently trumped my right not to fall and injure myself in public loos, because I'm young and he's old, but oh well. And let's not mention the times we've been refused the key to the disabled loo because we "look ok" (this with an official card to prove disability).

Anyway, long story short, for now he has to come in with me. On holiday the other week he got locked in a cubicle and if I hadn't been there to open it with a 10 cent coin he would have had no way to contact me and wouldn't have spoken to a stranger to ask for help.

He did say on Saturday he would like to see if he is able to use the men's by himself which is a big indicator he is ready as he just won't do things unless he's decided it for himself (yay PDA!). So I'll be waiting outside next time, if he still wants to try, to see how it goes.

Do think the OP was overprotective, but not necessarily U. The barmaid was definitely OTT though.

Ahh