Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

[40andfucked]

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

Neurotypical.

I doubt there's a mum on the planet that would take her 16 year old to the toilet.

If she did I'd say she was wrong.

What's more I've never seen anyone give us a second glance most people just want in and out asap.

In RL that's been my experience.

No my point is that a boys mum should be trusted to make the call dependent on the situation, the place, who they have with them, his age, his maturity and capability and so on.

God, you're really not getting it, are you?!

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SON.

Sorry for shouting, but Jesus wept!

Clearly mums can't be trusted if they are taking ten year olds in. Perhaps such important decision making could be delegated to the dads?

I assume they will be less scared of the evil men's toilets, but I could be proved wrong...

I've never said it was but this discussion is about boys using the ladies so I'm putting across a point of view.

I'm a women, I've been a child, I've been a teenage girl, I'm aware of the issues women face.

When I'm somewhere I don't know and I've not got dh with me and I have to make a judgment about safety then at that moment it is about me and my sons and their safety.
I'd probably be sympathetic if someone expressed upset but would explain that at night in a strange place (we travel a lot so this is a common scenario) my child is safest with me and not waiting outside for me to deal with my little ones who take bloody ages to wee!

Not all boys have their dads around or there at the time.

Fwiw my dh thinks it's a bit dodgy to send a boy into the men's alone.

I wonder why?

Koala
IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SON.

My post above is in reply to this

Perhaps (I'm sensing a theme across a few threads here...) men should address the actual issue if their toilets are not safe places to go? Rather than sending every man and his dog into the ladies?

Exactly, I wouldn't want to leave my 8 year old outside a toilet in a motorway services at night.

In those circumstances his safety is AS important as a girls potential embarrassment.

All the "my son, my judgement, my choice" mothers, do you have daughters too?

I don't doggity however I have been a girl myself.

I don't think some people have sons.

Exactly, I wouldn't want to leave my 8 year old outside a toilet in a motorway services at night. In those circumstances his safety is AS important as a girls potential embarrassment.

This is precisely the sort of thing that the mothers without boys (or mothers with boys who always have a do with them ) are failing to comprehend

What are all you females doing in toilets that you might be embarrassed about doing in front of a boy?

DD and I go in to a cubicle, use the facilities behind a locked door then come out and wash and dry our hands.

I once had to go into a men's toilet to retrieve someone else's child who I'd become worried about because they were taking so long. It turned out the urinals were too high for them and they hadn't seen the cubicles, and was just trying to figure out what to do. It wasn't a pleasant experience for me. I also felt that child was potentially very vulnerable.

I'm very glad I'm not in a world where people need to be as paranoid as some are on this thread.

It must be as I've never, in all my years as a mum to all boys and before, seen a 10 year old boy in a women's toilet. My 10 year old boy woul rather hold on than go in with me.

Year 6 children have the right to go to the loo with the certainty that they will not meet a year 6 child of the opposite sex in there.

It must be as I've never, in all my years as a mum to all boys and before, seen a 10 year old boy in a women's toilet.

That's becuase it's really really rare, but that wouldn't make a good thread would it?

I'm very glad I'm not in a world where people need to be as paranoid as some are on this thread

Me too.

All this angst over a 10 second activity. Statistically kids are at far more risk from each other or friends or family members than they are from random men in a toilet.

YABU

I was abroad with my 13yo DS and the available public toilets looked dodgy as... I actually suggested to DS he might prefer to urinate in some bushes behind a tree. DS was totally shocked by my suggestion and refused.

There are other places where I would happily let a 5yo go to the men's unaccompanied without questioning it. Mostly I base my judgment on whether I would feel comfortable entering the space .

LondonBus in what way did they look "dodgy as"?

All the "my son, my judgement, my choice" mothers, do you have daughters too?

No. But like Baby said I have been a girl myself. Been a pre teen, been a teenager going through puberty and now I'm a young woman. I have an older brother who had his mates around a lot whilst we were growing up. I lived with just my brother and dad from the age of 11 because my mum left. Oh how difficult it must have been for me having all those boys and men around me

Mynest, the toilets looked dodgy because there were quite a few homeless people around, most of whom seemed to be under the influence of something. We weren't in the most salubrious of areas and I wouldn't have been surprised if DS had encountered someone shooting up.

But then again I've heard cottaging is a popular pastime in our local park toilets.

I have two girls and I take my 9 year old into the ladies and so does his older sister