Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

[40andfucked]

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

The op did not say she does this all the time.
She assessed this situation and decided it better to supervise her ds in a cubicle in the women's toilets. Isn't this what we do every day make assessments and suitable choices for each situation. None of us were there - she was not comfortable sending her son to gents toikets unsupervised - what is there to be seen in women's toilets - no privacies are compromised we all use cubicles ffs.
Yes she had him in a pub where some people were drinking/ drunk whatever - he was supervised it was 5pm in the afternoon.
Really don't see what the big deal is

Richardbucket

Do you really think our parenting styles are do different? I was just about to go to bed, but may need to pop a zopiclone on the strength of that.

honkinghaddock If male cleaners are in the ladies there are signs, and sometimes it's even closed for the duration.

Why not go into the men's with your adult son? Neither is ideal, but a woman is far less threatening to a man in a toilet than vice versa.

joell Once again, slowly...it's not the 'grown women' that we are worried about.

It's the girls.

And what if I don't feel safe in the men's.

honkinghaddock You're willing to make the girls and women in the ladies' feel unsafe with an adult man in there, but you're not willing to put yourself through the same?

But they would have no reason to feel unsafe since he would be accompanied by me.

They would definitely have reason to feel unsafe. It's a woman's space and an adult man is in it. They don't know what protection you can offer, do they?

Shame on all posts being so judgmental about this post, OP made a decision based on circumstance, the posts automatically saying they shouldn't have been in a pub are naïve, it was 5pm and she addressed the situation. Some people are very comfortable amongst 'merry' people, others not so. The barmaid sounds as though she is one of the latter.
I think all toilets should be mixed now and all cubicles. Teaching boys to pee in urinals is just a bit gross. Ban them I say!!!!!

I still have to take my 15 yr old into toilets with me
And at what age are you going to stop doing that?
What if there is a queue and only one cubicle at a time free?
It's just not on. Either take him in the disabled with you and teach him to face away from you, or teach him to wait outside the disabled. You cannot continue to take him into the ladies - he's nearly an adult.

I have carers for my kids. They used the disabled toilets until my kids learnt to stand outside. You can use a length of ribbon through the door - he holds one end, you hold the other. It's a good way of maintaining a connection and reminds them to stay put.

And I'd like my 13 year old daughter to use the toilet without boys and young men in it.

Oh behave yourself.

ofafrenchmind hope you don't mind me asking why were you embarrassed about opening a sanitary towel if by some chance a boy or man was around? But it wouldn't bother you if it was a girl or woman?
I hate using public toilets.. I try to wee quietly if someone is in the next cubicle or if I need a poo I try to avoid it
My point being its possible a man could have come into the ladies toilets without me knowing and used the cubicle next to me. I'd be just as uncomfortable be it man or woman.
I don't know why a 13 year old girl (as an example) would be more uncomfortable with a 10 year old boy than a 10 year old girl

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky You tell girls and women wanting their own space to behave? Shame on you.

koaladownunder

Thanks for slowing I down for me. It gave me another chance to read the post I was responding to. The one that states, "women". Oh, and there again, for a second time, "women". You may well be talking about girls...the post that I was responding to wasn't.

Yeah, shut up stupid woman. We are talking about boy's rights here.

Women and girls are so bloody selfish.

How dare they not want to have males in a female space! How dare they want to feel comfortable in a female space! And how bloody dare they speak out if they feel uncomfortable about a male being in a female space!

It's just so bloody selfish! Us women really need to learn our place.

They never should have let us out of the bloody kitchen

Were you bored when you started this thread OP?

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Apologies, I missed the sarcasm the first time round!

Jesus christ, hold a ribbon ?? oh to have a child with the capacity to be able to do that. I'm bowing out, I shouldnt have commented and will have posts removed.

Honestly, some people (( and I include other carers )) really do not know how lucky they are.

I don't know why a 13 year old girl (as an example) would be more uncomfortable with a 10 year old boy than a 10 year old girl

You can't think of any reason why? Really now?

Seriously, aside from washing hands what is this female space that we should all feel entitled to?

I am disabled.

However I am also a woman who is sick and tired of having her needs, wants and feelings pushed aside for the sake of men's wants, needs and feelings.

Lucy, it was embarrassing in the presence of women, petrifying in the presence of men or boys. Because as a girl, i heard so much of the stupid jokes young boys and men make about periods, that it took a while before I had the confidence to think fuck that, that's what every women do, it's normal to have my periods.

Seriously, aside from washing hands what is this female space that we should all feel entitled to?

It's a ladies toilet. The clue is in the name.

However it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks.

The OP was bored and this thread will be gone in the morning.

And of course my TIO will be full of deletion messages.