To be sad my DD has to wear glasses?

[SheStoodInTheStorm]

I know I probably am, and her vision is more important that her appearance but I am sad.

She has big beautiful eyes that I think will just look silly behind lenses.

I worry about her wearing them at nursery and being different to most other children.

I am fretting about getting her to keep them on.

Neither me or DH wear glasses so I am wondering if I have done something wrong to cause her needing them! I didn't go about her vision, I went as she sometimes turns her eye in for a few seconds.

I know I probably am BU and perhaps am posting here expecting most of you to tell me to get a grip.

Anyone else felt this way?

My DD has gruffalo glasses from specsavers. They are lovely and she's been amazing about keeping them on, I think because they really help her. And we've been told they may correct the turn and then she won't need them anymore.

I second the Miraflex recommendation upthread. You have to pay extra or you may be able to get them on prescription depending on the age of your DD. They are brilliant, my DD destroyed her glasses weekly when she first started wearing them (just 2) but Miraflex solved that problem and they seem really comfy and look really cool!

YAB ridiculously U. And incredibly selfish.

Furthermore, your DD will take her cues from you - clearly you feel that her requiring glasses is a tragedy. She will feed off that and 1) be taught that she is somehow imperfect because her "big beautiful eyes" look "silly" behind lenses and 2) wearing the glasses will become a power struggle, and she will win, because she knows your weakness.

My DD is legally blind without her specs, and has required glasses since she was 6 months old. She has beautiful deep brown eyes, which are in no way lessened by her glasses. They are the first ting she puts on in the morning, and the last thing she takes off at night.

I can't imagine willingly limiting her vision (and by extension, her development) over something as superficial as "looking silly" in glasses.

Would you also deny your child hearing aids if her impairment was auditory?

My mum's unhelpful and insensitive comment to me when I told her I had had an eye test and needed specs was "how awful".

My mum and dad told me that I was exaggerating my shortsightedness and even implied I had somehow faked the eye test.

I believe they felt that the sexist and stupid adage that "men don't make passes at girls in glasses" was true and that I would remain a myopic old maid.

I wear specs all the time and am married to someone who apparently doesn't mind my four eyes!

It isn't ideal. It's an extra faff. But your daughter needs her specs.

Apologies havent RTFT but I was in your position 6-8 weeks ago, and felt ashamed at how sad it made me feel. Now a month into him wearing glasses and I can honestly say it no longer bothers me. He'll likely need them for the rest of his life and are making a huge difference to him. He's happy. I'm happy. But it was a huge shock.

Take him to a good independent optician and don't take the first frame option they offer. Tomato glasses, miraflex and so on are good places to start.

Yabu!

I have lovely big brown eyes (if I say so myself!). I got glasses when I was about 5 I think. It was amazing!!! I can vividly remember driving home in them and being able to see individual leaves on trees instead of green fuzz - it was so beautiful!!! Got contacts when I was ten, so did not affect my appearance at all. I never had a problem keeping my glasses on, coz I can't see without them and I like seeing.

I love my glasses!!!!

You're just not used to idea as you don't wear them yourself. It will be fine don't worry!

OP:
You are being ridiculous. Her sight is if the utmost importance and she will look adorable in her glasses, I'm sure. Neither you nor your OH wear glasses - erm... so what? She does.

...of the utmost

If this helps... my DD'S prescription is +7.25 in one eye, +7.5 in the other - more than twice as strong as your DD's.

I am going to go way out on a limb and say that my daughter does not look silly in her glasses at all, despite the fact that they are far stronger than your DD will require.

Shtoppen

"I can't imagine willingly limiting her vision (and by extension, her development) over something as superficial as "looking silly" in glasses.

Would you also deny your child hearing aids if her impairment was auditory?"

I have not said anywhere that I would deny her wearing glasses!!!! Of course I'd never do that. I've been diligently writing notes from the advice and recommendations on this thread.
I have said we've chatted about friends and family who have them today, will have a fun day out choosing glasses etc.
Your daughter is beautiful.
I didn't express myself correctly in my OP.

Thanks to those who see where I am coming from. Particularly the poster who pointed out it is probably less of a vanity thing.

To those who are just replying to my OP - please read my further posts.

First post in AIBU has gone swimmingly well!

I am so short sighted that I get free eye tests and it really doesn't bother me. I've never known anything different since I was eight, when I was SHOCKED to discover they you could see individual leaves on trees from the ground, not just if you held then rent close to your face!

I got contacts at 14 and again just part of life now - I wear my sexy secretary glasses about half the time and contacts the rest.

YANBU to have feelings about it but it's honestly bit a bit deal. I got a tiny bit of pisstaking, which I do blame entirely on my mother's awful 80s NHS specs taste, but now I think glasses are so nice and trendy that she'll just be excited.

Also I have, imho, particularly nice eyes, and the glasses just frame them and draw attention to them.

Plus it's very amusing watching hearing people squeal when they try my ludicrous glasses on.

OP, you are not being unreasonable to feel sad. I felt sad when my son got glasses at 6 years old and I've worn glasses all of my life. The day he got his glasses was a great day. First of all, he looked great. It was like his face had been waiting for glasses. They sort of finished him off if you see what I mean. He then spent the day just wandering around looking at stuff. It was like he was seeing things for the first time. "Mummy, it's like seeing inHD". Great day. Enjoy picking fabulous frames with your daughter. She's going to look great and see better.

I have a DS who started wearing glasses at 4. He is very longsighted.
Once he got those glasses he put them on the second he woke up and wouldn't be parted from them till he went to bed. He had all sorts, even Harry Potter ones when they were fashionable (although kids took them in the playground so that didn't work well...)
He now has contacts most of the time.

Please don't be upset. There are far, far worse things you and your child could be facing than glasses.

DC1 got first glasses as a baby. DC2 wears hearing aids. I much prefer them 'with' than 'without' as that's what makes their lives easier. They're both as beautiful/handsome/whatever...

It's reasonable, of course, to be concerned for your child, and she may have to adjust to them, but you can make it a positive and exciting experience for her.

There are so many lovely and pretty designs for kids now (when my sister got her glasses as a child, the selection was far from inspiring!)... and as she grows up she can enjoy treating herself to the latest frames etc. I wear glasses and I get really excited about getting new frames and picking them out etc. There are so many funky and pretty styles.

Of course, when she's older she can look into getting contact lenses or laser surgery if it is appropriate for her and if it's what she wants. But these days many people get glasses with non-prescription lenses because they are seen as a fashion accessory. Even people who don't need them, want them.

So get her excited about picking out a really lovely pretty pair of glasses. Make it a positive - not a negative - and help her wear her fantastic new glasses with confidence. I hope she enjoys her new glasses.

Centrostyle is the other brand that was recommended to me.

Thanks everyone for your contributions.

I know it will be fine. It was a knee jerk post.

It's fine to feel a bit sad, so yanbu. But, and I speak from experience, you need to decide not to react by blaming yourself for having done something 'wrong'. My first two children each have an additional need, one medical and the other neurological, diagnosed within months of each other a few years ago. I had to take a grip ony emotions and decide not to blame myself for what had happened and I'm glad I did as it would have sapped energy when I needed it the most.

Shtoppen your DD is tres beau!

YABU - my nephew who has quite acute ASD/Aspergers has to wear them, he had no problem and started wearing them at 3.

YANBU OP. I had to wear glasses as a child and didn't like them.

People can go on about how it's not a big deal as much as they like. And of course in the grand scheme of things it isn't life-shattering. But it's still a shame. I never liked my glasses and think people generally look better without them.

YABU.

The only bad thing I felt when our daughter needed glasses was because I wished we had taken her to the opticians sooner.

YANBU being sad, we all want our children to be completely perfect and that's entirely normal.
YABU if you have given your child any indication of how you feel.
Once the shock wears off you'll be fine and in a few months you'll wonder why you cared so much. Just make sure you are nothing but positive in front of your DC.

YABU.

My DP wears ridiculously strengthed glasses (he's had both eyes out in his childhood to sort out his eyeball muscles) but he's not his glasses, he's all the sum of his parts and they're just him. His eyes are just as lovely with glass as without and your DD will be as lovely as ever.

I understand op. My ds suddenly got a turn in his eye at 4 and needed glasses. It was a shock, I was worried about all sorts, including how his peers would react. I hid it all from him and made it a big adventure, he will thrilled to get them. I would highly recommend a book called Arlo Wears Glasses, its a very positive book.

I quickly realised it was my issue and that every child we have come across has either not even noticed them or wished they had some too. The stigma they used to have, has long gone.

He does look different wearing them, but they are just part of him now and I can't imagine him without now.

There is a good website called littlefoureyes with lots of good advice and tips about keeping them on.

I think you are being very silly. It's not like she's ill! My eldest wears glasses and she suits them. Glasses are very fashionable these days.