To be sad my DD has to wear glasses?

[SheStoodInTheStorm]

I know I probably am, and her vision is more important that her appearance but I am sad.

She has big beautiful eyes that I think will just look silly behind lenses.

I worry about her wearing them at nursery and being different to most other children.

I am fretting about getting her to keep them on.

Neither me or DH wear glasses so I am wondering if I have done something wrong to cause her needing them! I didn't go about her vision, I went as she sometimes turns her eye in for a few seconds.

I know I probably am BU and perhaps am posting here expecting most of you to tell me to get a grip.

Anyone else felt this way?

[SpaceDinosaur]

My DH wears glasses.
Sometimes he wears contacts.
I genuinely don't notice what he's wearing day to day because I don't notice his glasses (and he has some heavy fashion frames too)

I had glasses from 13 to 17 and they corrected my problem. Glasses aren't always permanent but I think children look adorable in them.

[MrsJayy]

Her prescription might not magnify her eyes has she to wear them long term or is it to correct a squint ?

[Floisme]

I bloody love my glasses. Even so, I felt a bit sad about my son needing them, as if I'd let him down by passing on my awful eyesight gene. So I don't think you're being unreasonable.

My son was fine though and he looks cool in his specs although admittedly he was a bit older than your daughter when it happened.

[RaskolnikovsGarret]

I've worn them since 4, DDs early on too. There is zero stigma nowadays, and most children think they are cool. I can't think why you are concerned at all.

[amusedbush]

I have bloody awful vision (-7.0 in both eyes) and have worn glasses since I was 7. I wear contacts now but I still have a couple of pairs of 'trendy' glasses and have fun with retro cat eye styles.

I really don't understand why you'd be upset

[CountessOfStrathearn]

I was a bit upset when I found out that DD at the age of 2 needed glasses.

I've worn glasses for as long as I can remember and have missed out being able to see in focus in the swimming pool underwater, being able to read in bed when I was supposed to have the lights off as a child (my non-glasses wearing sister would always manage to hide the book she was reading whereas I had to hide the book and my glasses with the DPs came in), the annoyance of having to swap glasses around when I want to wear sunglasses, getting them greasy and having to clean them etc, not really being able to see when doing make up. They are pretty annoying!

That said, I've worn them so long that I feel naked without them and I can see with them on and they are just part of me now. Along with that, DD loves her glasses and she does look very cute with them on. She loves selecting her new ones each time and takes such delight in them. (It helps that Specsavers do Frozen themed glasses!)

So, I'd say YANBU. You've said that you are bigging it up with her and being very positive, but you are allowed to feel a bit disappointed too.

[itmustbemyage]

Maybe you should focus on the fact that her eye sight problems can be helped by glasses, which is a good thing, rather than her having to manage life as a partially sighted child.
I have worn glasses since I was very young ( and both my children do as well), as I have extended family members who are blind I consider myself lucky.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

see if you can figure it out.

[GwendolynPost]

DD3 has to go for an extra eye test ( the one with the drops, can't remember the name) as both me and the optician think she may have been faking in her eye test in an attempt to get glasses like mine and her friends.

I have had glasses since I was 5, back then the options were limited and quite unattractive, the ones for children these days are lovely.

[MeAndMy3LovelyBoys]

My 5 year old DS has just recently started wearing glasses. When he finished school in July he didn't wear them and when he goes back in September he will have them on. I think he looks lovely with them on and he really suits them. I don't see anything wrong with them and I just want them to do their job for him.
My worry is that I know kids can be so cruel and I really worry that he's going to get bullied. He's already had trouble with friends not wanting to play with him and I worry that nobody will like him now he has glasses. He's also he average height of a 7 year old and very tall, so already looks different to the rest of the children in his class. He's never hurt any of his friends despite his size, whereas a boy much smaller than him hurt him twice in reception- once by pushing him over in the playground and him badly grazing his forehead and another by smacking him in the face at a birthday party. He's also doesnt stick up for himself eg if someone snatches a toy from him he will let them have it. Sorry I'm going a tangent but thinking about it all is making me so bloody angry and sad and I worry that having glasses will make it worse for him as he gets older and children get more cruel.

[GahBuggerit]

the fuck? my bloody eyes arent magnified and my prescription is VERY strong

go for the thinner lens and a giant grip

[BlancheBlue]

Your care about appearance over your dd seeing properly? Get a grip - not that glasses look weird or bad on children or anyone for that matter!

[Dancingupthewall]

She has big beautiful eyes that I think will just look silly behind lenses

From spectacles wearers across the world, thank you so much for helping this silly prejudice to endure. Do you know how damaging this thinking has been for several generations of women?

But what would I know, I just look silly apparently. However, I value my ability to see more than my looks. It's a pity you don't think the same way for the sake of your daughter.

YABU, but you know that don't you?

[Lifegavemelemons]

I've worn glasses for 56 yrs - it would be 57 apart from a year's flirtation with contacts in my 20's. I hated how I looked without them, I thought my eyes looked all small and piggy rather than large and alluring .

Like someone up thread I feel naked without them and think they really suit me.

One of my DC faked poor eyesight to try and get them too - didn't get past the optometrist though

Your dd will look fine

[PacificDogwod]

YANBU to feel a sense of loss - I know I did when I needed glasses, aged 10.

YABU if you fail to come to grips with this development.

You did not say what age your DD is - if she does indeed need glasses with magnifying lenses she is likely a little far sighted which can improve with time.

Fwiw, my friends DD was eventually found to be near blind just before her 2nd birthday from short-sightedness (basically anything beyond 3-4 inches was a blur for her), got glasses and within hours they were the last thing she took off at night and the first thing she reached for in the morning.

In the nicest way possible, thank your lucky stars that she was diagnosed and will enjoy good vision that will not restrict her day to day.

[deadringer]

My dd has been wearing glasses since she was 20 months, she loves them and looks beautiful in them! About a quarter of her class wear them (6-7 year olds), i suppose because they catch eye problems early on now. I bet all your dds little friends will be jealous and want glasses too!

[IWantAnotherBaby]

I needed glasses from aged 8. I am extremely short-sighted, and still need them. My parents were brilliant but I was devastated, was bullied at school because of them and found sport a real pain as well. I got contact lenses as soon as my parents would allow it and have worn them almost all the time ever since.
I hated glasses as a child, so I can understand your concerns. None of my 3 children have so far needed them and I am very relieved. BUT if they do, at some point, I will of course be very positive and supportive and avoid giving them any negative vibes. Not sure what would have helped my own loathing of specs on me; I don't dislike them on anyone else - the main issue, I think, was the attitude of other children.
I still hate wearing them and feel ugly when I do. But my DH LOVES them and gets all amorous just when I am feeling at my least attractive... typical!!

[harshbuttrue1980]

Please don't project your feelings about this onto her - at her age, she should be more concerned about running around having fun than what she looks like. Glasses for kids can be trendy and cute anyway - Mariah Carey's daughter wears glasses, and she always has the loveliest, prettiest frames. When she's a teenager, she can always wear contacts if she chooses.

[bookwormnerd]

My daughter was 2 when she started wearing glasses, she looks so cute. She loves Specsavers as they do princess glasses (she is now 5) she has actually had more adults say negative things about glasses, the kids dont bat an eye lid and they are not unusual. You can still see my daughters big beautiful blue eyes and I know several girls were jealous of her frozen glasses (has Anna pair and Elsa pair) my daughters never had any children bringing up her glasses so fingers crossed that doesn't happen. I don't think glasses are seen as negative now, I certainly know people who have worn clear lenses so can wear glasses without prescription. They have beautiful glasses now and I would say styles for children have really improved over last couple of years.

[PipnJo]

Both my boys wear glasses, they were like the class heroes when they walked in with them on the first time.
Eldest's lenses were thinned at extra cost, otherwise they'd have been incredibly thick, and heavy.

Re: swimming (for people who have mentioned it) , you can actually get prescription swimming goggles.

[minifingerz]

YABU

I adore my ds in his glasses!

After he got them I used to make him sit still so I could just enjoy looking at him wearing them.

Kids in glasses are gorgeous.

[Hulababy]

Glasses for children are so much nicer than the old fashioned NHS ones that you used to have to have.

Of course it is a shock especially when neither you or her dad wear glasses. That's totally normal. Even people who do wear glasses can feel shock and sadness when their own children need them too.

But I bet the shock is already wearing off. And when it does you will see the benefits and any perceived issues will become incidental.

[BeMorePanda]

My 5yo got glasses 6 months ago. I'd say it's really important your dd is not aware of your feelings. She was annoyed at first but everyone was really positive about them and she quickly came around.

Her 8yo sister is quite jealous about it.

You didn't cause your dds eye issues. Please don't blame yourself.

[Blondieblondie]

I wore glasses when I was a kid and I wear lenses now. I still felt bad when my DS (4 at the time) had to get them, so I understand. (Not helped by ex joking his football career was over thanks to my gammy eye gene.) And yes, due to the frame he had and the lens thickness it did magnify slightly. But he looked adorable. My little milky bar kid. He also had to wear a patch a few hours per day, but again it was no big deal and his Afterschool care even threw him a little pirate themed mini party to help him settle in with it. I'm struggling a bit now that he's 11 to get him to wear them although he doesn't need them as much. Bit TBH he's just bothered about how his looks

You'll get used to it, honestly. I will warn you though, my DS had to sometimes get the dye in his eye at his hospital appointments and my god, those were baaaad days.

People are being harsh here. OP knows DD's vision is more important, hence why she's still getting her the glasses

[eyemonster12]

Whatever you do, don't let your feelings on it show to her.