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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU...to want my bag for life back

115 replies

bunnyfuller · 25/08/2016 18:26

Petty I know but I feel really narked and thought a bashing on here would sort me out! A mum who lives near me has two little girls younger than mine. I pass on various clothes/shoes/school uniform etc that is still in good nick. She does some hairdressing on the side of her f/t job and kindly cuts my/my kids hair 2-3 times a year for a v cheap price (cash).

Recently (middle of July) I gave her a bag of dressing up clothes which my girls no longer used, lots of items. I put them in one of my big, strong bags for life and asked her to return the bag.

Fast forward.....3 weeks ago I asked her if she could return it....she said yes definitely, it didn't arrive. I saw her in the street Mon Eve and asked her again, she said 'oh, didn't I bring it back?' Then 'oh I'm sure the girls brought it back' I assured her they hadn't so she promised to have a look for it. She cut my eldest's hair on Tue so when I took the money round after I findihed work I asked her again. This time she said 'oh DC brought it round and hung it on your door' so again I said we hadn't got it. She's now promised to replace. They're in no way hard up so I'm utterly mystified why giving the bag back has been such a huge deal. Did she think it was a plakky bag and thinks I'm weird for going on about it? AIBU for being quite pissed off now? Happy for a flaming because I'm obsessing a bit I need other views!

OP posts:
MoreCoffeeNow · 25/08/2016 18:28

She binned it, I expect.

Katinkka · 25/08/2016 18:29

Move on with your life, it's just a bag.

Nightmanagerfan · 25/08/2016 18:29

I think it's a bit odd to want it back if it's a plastic one. It would be different if it was a jute/more sturdy version though.

blueskyinmarch · 25/08/2016 18:30

You say ‘placcy bag’ so I assume you are talking a 10p plastic job rather than a hessian one? I really don’t think i could get worked up over a plastic bag. Life is too short.

Original poster
bunnyfuller · 25/08/2016 18:31

IT was one of the sturdy ones - a huge Christmas one made of thick hessian. No, I am NOT asking for a plastic bag to be returned!

OP posts:
Jizzomelette · 25/08/2016 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FetchezLaVache · 25/08/2016 18:32

Out of order for her not to return the bag if you specifically asked her to do so, but we live and learn... Next time, hand the clothes over in a bin liner!

couchparsnip · 25/08/2016 18:33

Maybe they did hang it on the door and it's gone missing from there?

PepsiPenguin · 25/08/2016 18:34

how much did this bag cost?

I seriously think it's way OTT to get this annoyed about a bag of this type.

MoMandaS · 25/08/2016 18:34

That would irritate me too, particularly since you'd asked for it back. It's the principle. I reckon she's passed it on.

Honeyandfizz · 25/08/2016 18:35

Seriously? Is this a supermarket bag for life? If so then you really need to forget it, it's a bag.

Katinkka · 25/08/2016 18:36

Why would she think it was a 'plakky' bag then?

NannyR · 25/08/2016 18:38

I save the cheaper or more worn out ones for these situations and don't expect them back.

gingerboy1912 · 25/08/2016 18:39

I would just learn from this and move on otherwise you get a reputation for being the weird bag lady.

Chikara · 25/08/2016 18:40

I'm with you - it as your bag, you asked for it back, you need it , you don't have it, you now need to go and buy a new one. All because she can't be arsed. Annoying!

Original poster
bunnyfuller · 25/08/2016 18:40

The bag cost a fiver. There were a lot of dressing up clothes. It's the principle - i asked for the bag back specifically because I use them for my shopping! A fiver is a meal for us, I know it doesn't seem much to some.

OP posts:
acasualobserver · 25/08/2016 18:41

How much are you out of pocket? Knock this off the price of the next haircut.

Alternatively, forget all about it.

mrsfuzzy · 25/08/2016 18:42

[singing] 'let it go' , pita but in the bigger scheme of things it really is much of nothing isn't it ?

Original poster
bunnyfuller · 25/08/2016 18:44

I will definitely learn! Didn't expect to lose money passing something on!!

OP posts:
allthebestplease · 25/08/2016 18:44

Don't give her anymore clothes, very odd for her not to give it back. I'd text her to ask again. Then leave the matter.

blueskyinmarch · 25/08/2016 18:46

Lesson learned. You need to learn to use cheap plastic bags for giving things away in future.

PepsiPenguin · 25/08/2016 18:46

I think most were thinking it was a bag for life with a rough cost of 10p... In which case it would be crazy to get this upset about it IMO.

I'd forget about it, but if it is a lot of money for you and it was a bag you use all the time that you will replace because she has lost it then I guess it's fair enough, but id be careful she didn't return it and someone hasn't taken it, or maybe your DH/DP saw it and shoved it under sink (mine would)

100% not worth loosing a friend over, see if she replaces it but you might just have to let it go

usual · 25/08/2016 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paulat2112 · 25/08/2016 18:50

I think you need to write it off. It's gone. I would only pass things on in bags you are happy to never get returned or black binbags, to anyone you ever give anything to.

MissClarke86 · 25/08/2016 18:51

I think your using the wrong terminology which isn't helping you here. A "bag for life" is one of those 10p plastic ones that supermarkets will replace "for life" if it rips.

What your talking about is a purchased hessian bag that actually cost you a few bob. At first I thought you were being unreasonable because I thought you meant a plastic one, but I do see your point now.