AIBU...to want my bag for life back

[bunnyfuller]

Petty I know but I feel really narked and thought a bashing on here would sort me out! A mum who lives near me has two little girls younger than mine. I pass on various clothes/shoes/school uniform etc that is still in good nick. She does some hairdressing on the side of her f/t job and kindly cuts my/my kids hair 2-3 times a year for a v cheap price (cash).

Recently (middle of July) I gave her a bag of dressing up clothes which my girls no longer used, lots of items. I put them in one of my big, strong bags for life and asked her to return the bag.

Fast forward.....3 weeks ago I asked her if she could return it....she said yes definitely, it didn't arrive. I saw her in the street Mon Eve and asked her again, she said 'oh, didn't I bring it back?' Then 'oh I'm sure the girls brought it back' I assured her they hadn't so she promised to have a look for it. She cut my eldest's hair on Tue so when I took the money round after I findihed work I asked her again. This time she said 'oh DC brought it round and hung it on your door' so again I said we hadn't got it. She's now promised to replace. They're in no way hard up so I'm utterly mystified why giving the bag back has been such a huge deal. Did she think it was a plakky bag and thinks I'm weird for going on about it? AIBU for being quite pissed off now? Happy for a flaming because I'm obsessing a bit I need other views!

Of course I wouldn't be upset if it were a 10p bag!!!! I put them in one of my best because a) there were a LOT of dressing up clothes/costumes etc b) I would always return that sort of bag.

She's not a friend as such (Lord I've tried!) but tbh I think I will pass my stuff on elsewhere from now on. I've given new cardigans and skirts etc and I feel a bit taken the piss of. Maybe she's sick of me giving them stuff?

I'm sure you've had the £5 back many times with those cheap hair cuts. You are bring rediculous. If a friend kept going on about this to me I'd be rather flummoxed. Let it go or lose the friend.

I have 1000's of the bloody things! Would you like a couple of hundred. Bag for a day in my house. Good intentions etc etc

Bags for life are the sturdy plastic bags that supermarkets used to replace when they wore out.

If it's a £5 tough hessian thing, it isn't a "Bag for Life" it's a hessian shopper / jute shopper / shopping bag.

We've had 3 haircuts from her....

Views seem to be both ways, I appreciate the input.

So people throw th big hessian bag thingies away?

I'm really attached to my canvas shopping bags. I feel your pain OP

This is hilarious. If you're serious, get a grip (of a new bag I guess).

And if you're not serious... Well played

Life is going to be stressful if you make a big deal out of stuff like this! Yes, she should have given it back. Get over it.

I think they've binned it or used it & lost it. I imagine with each text she is saying FFS where is the bloody hessian sodding bag!!
I wouldn't give any more stuff. Does she want it? If you've tried to be her friend & that hasn't worked out,let it go.

Why did you give it to her in that bag instead of one that you know you want back? People rarely think bags are important enough to return or tent to assume they're part of the whole lot you've given them.

That said, I bought an Orla Kiely printed one from Tesco and my mums been eying it up. She's under the illusion that I'll be leaving it behind when we fly back home next week. Not a chance! 😄

i went mad when i lost my yes tesco bag-not the platic ones the sturdier ones but its used for my shopping

its the principle still an i think some people have missed posts saying its not a plastic bag

So m not returning the favour by passing on stuff? Bcause when people pass things onto me for my girls I usually recognise it with a little gift or bottle of wine etc? (Which I don't expect but this is stuff I could sell!)

I remember learning this same lesson the hard way when I was 12 and a cIassmate I was keen to impress asked to borrow my A-Ha album. I brought it into school in a Miss Selfridge bag, she brought it back in a Netto bag. Harumph.

Lesson learnt, she has lost/binned or maybe it was nicked off your door handle but face it the bag has gone!

Next time stick to a carrier or bin liner.

The bag is an ex-bag!

I can sympathise with this, I have shopping bags like this that I really like and would be upset if I didn't get back having specifically asked for. I expect they somehow lost it, or maybe they did drop it back onto your doorstep and it was nicked? Sometimes though it is these fairly small niggles (in the grand scheme of things) that end up feeling really annoying!

Never lend things you would be upset not to get back

I haven't texted her - she's a neighbour. I don't have her number. I've just asked when I've seen herThus why I'm confused why it's gone like this. If it were a mate it would be easy, give her the bag or sort it out! But I would never keep something in these circumstances. The bag was allegedly left on my door when she knew I was out, according to her. She lives 3 doors away, why not leave it until I'm in? I'm more confused as to the why than the what, if you know what I mean. If I'd binned it or whatever, thinking 'it's just a bag' then when asked I would say 'oh god - I forgot - I binned it - I can replace it' not give a staged story of it.

I really think you should just let it go. It's a bag, a BAG.

This has disaster written all over it.

Don't put things in a bag you want back
Don't give away things if youd rather sell them
Don't suggest you have a quid pro quo arrangement if you don't really ("only 3 hair cuts")
And stop trying to make friends with this woman who doesn't want to be your friend

You do sound nice OP so find someone nicer to befriend and go give your other bags a big love

I expect she got one of the kids to leave it on the door because you kept asking for it?

And agree most people do think your talking about a bag for life, not a hessian shopping bag.

I think it's time to accept the bag has gone...

Hmm, I do think she will probably think you're overreacting massively but I have one of those hefty shopping bags, a red nose Lulu Guiness one and I use it for loads of things.
I'd be pissed off if it vanished.
However I also KNOW I''d be pissed off so therefore wouldn't have lent it out.
You should have used the cheapos.

Why do you think the children didn't hang the bag on your door?

If it's a used bag, it's worth about 50p. You've saved way more than that via the cheap haircuts. Write it off!