AIBU...to want my bag for life back

[bunnyfuller]

Petty I know but I feel really narked and thought a bashing on here would sort me out! A mum who lives near me has two little girls younger than mine. I pass on various clothes/shoes/school uniform etc that is still in good nick. She does some hairdressing on the side of her f/t job and kindly cuts my/my kids hair 2-3 times a year for a v cheap price (cash).

Recently (middle of July) I gave her a bag of dressing up clothes which my girls no longer used, lots of items. I put them in one of my big, strong bags for life and asked her to return the bag.

Fast forward.....3 weeks ago I asked her if she could return it....she said yes definitely, it didn't arrive. I saw her in the street Mon Eve and asked her again, she said 'oh, didn't I bring it back?' Then 'oh I'm sure the girls brought it back' I assured her they hadn't so she promised to have a look for it. She cut my eldest's hair on Tue so when I took the money round after I findihed work I asked her again. This time she said 'oh DC brought it round and hung it on your door' so again I said we hadn't got it. She's now promised to replace. They're in no way hard up so I'm utterly mystified why giving the bag back has been such a huge deal. Did she think it was a plakky bag and thinks I'm weird for going on about it? AIBU for being quite pissed off now? Happy for a flaming because I'm obsessing a bit I need other views!

Thank you ascerbic voices of reason. Poocatcher, you've summed it up. The quid pro quo is obviously in my head only, the bag is gone and she clearly doesn't want to be friends.

I am nice, too bloody nice. I and my husband work like mad thus no time to sell things. She's obviously been giving me a hint I need to take.

Judy, I'm unsure as to the hanging on the door because she was! If I'd given it to the kids I would know! And say 'the girls hung it on your door on weds - didn't you get it?' I guess I'm anal about returning stuff.

Ok...so seems the overriding consensus is I'm being an idiot about a bag....and the cheap haircuts more than make up for it....giving stuff isn't a fair exchange.

I feel shit now for my lack of self awareness and no wonder she has politely rebuffed me!

It's good/bad to get out of your own head.

www.facebook.com/viralthread/videos/1039831399492035/

I think what you need to realise is that too most people a carrier bag is the type of thing that you either keep and use again when someone gives it to you, or else you just throw it out. I presume that the lady just didn't realise how important the bag was to you and disregarded it, even though you had asked for it back. Not a very thoughtful thing to do but, I have to admit, probably something a busy person would do.

Bunny I'm not taking the piss-I really do have a good few of those jute bags, if you'd like a couple just pm your address and I'll send you them.
Don't feel upset about this all- you've realised your reaction was disproportionate before you've done or said anything catastrophically cringey so this will all blow over

PirateFairy Every. Fucking. Time.
I've damaged myself in my quest to not need a bag.

It all seems crap now, it wasn't a 5p carrier bag, I'm not that fucking petty. It was a proper bag but clearly that's no biggy either. I buy decent bags because it saves us money long term. I passed the stuff on in the mistaken belief that it would be welcome, she prob binned the whole lot with the bag.
I dint want to make the intro boring, but I've given her st least £60 of school uniform, several pairs of barely worn shoes as well as this worthless bag of dressing up clothes. I realise a fiver is nothing to some, but for us it's another fiver to find. I hope I haven't embarrassed her by giving the stuff :-(.
Ugh.

OP, it's okay. You're hard up enough to miss the loss of your hessian bag. There's no shame in that.

PM FeralBeryl as she suggests and she'll sort you some bags.

I think after you'd asked once you needed to let it go. Asking 4 times for a bag back is getting into strange bag-obsessed lady territory - though I agree you shouldn't have had to ask at all.

See this is why you only give away a bag you can afford to lose.

You never get the bag back its a pisser but it's true!

When they call it a Bag For Life, they're referring to how long it should last. It's not a literally suggestion that said should BE your life.

Op I totally totally feel your pain here! I know it sounds crazy to some ... But them hessian bags are so damn precious I reward myself with a hessian bag on particularly stressful shopping days weeks , and Dh and the girls know to always seek permission before touching one!
I wish I was joking but I'm not

But op!!!! You made a fatal error however of giving stuff away in one! Noooooo! You do NOT DO shit like that! People that receive such bags grow sudden and highly unreasonable attachments to them and then won't give them back! mother I'm looking at you .

Unfortunate lesson learnt for you!

P.s: sainsburys have loooovely pineapple and flamingo ones in at the moment and they're £4...strokes the pineapple one happily

I don't think it would annoy me enough to start a thread on MN about it, haha, but it would irritate me. You clearly asked her to return it so she should've returned it, regardless of whether it was worth 10p, 10 quid or 10 grand. It's the principle. How hard is it to return a bag when you only live a few doors away?!

Oh bloody hell. ITS A BAG! Not life saving equipment. Get over it.

I dint want to make the intro boring, but I've given her st least £60 of school uniform, several pairs of barely worn shoes as well as this worthless bag of dressing up clothes. I realise a fiver is nothing to some, but for us it's another fiver to find.

Ok. But then why can't you write off a bag at £5 but you can write off £60 of uniform and bags full of dressing up clothes?

Surely if things are that tight, then you would sell the clothes on ebay, gumtree, etc.

I'm sure you've had the £5 back many times with those cheap hair cuts. You are bring rediculous. If a friend kept going on about this to me I'd be rather flummoxed. Let it go or lose the friend.

This x 1000.

It is just a bag. You are behaving as if you gave her your credit card.

How hard is it to return a bag when you only live a few doors away?!

My immediate thought is that she didn't want the bag of dress up clothes and binned the lot including the bag.

Let it go OP. She has obviously binned it and grasped at straws saying she thought your DD hung it on your door. She is probably now trying to remember what kind of sodding bag it was as it seems she has to replace it.

Keep enjoying your free haircuts and use the money you save to buy another bag.

Is it this:

www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Hessian-Shopper-Reusable-40x34x19cm/dp/B017T3L12Q

You can buy another one from Amazon if you loved it.

Oh God.

I next time use a bin bag. Also report this thread and ask for title to be edited to hessian bag.

What a pain in the bum you are! If you're that skint then you should've sold the dressing up clothes on gumtree. Get a life!

You should have sent the clothes in the free charity bags that always come through the door!

Aww, don't be mean to OP. The bag thing is utterly bonkers a bit obsessional, but she does sound nice.

You'd fit right in where I live Op people in my town carry hessian/jute/bagforlife's everywhere. I've got family members who would send bailiffs round if I didn't return their Sainsburys jute bags you're having a rough time on this thread and it isn't fair. If you asked for the bag back it should have been returned expeditiously. Your neighbour is very rude and Inconsiderate especially considering all the things youve been kind enough to give her.