AIBU to think that at aged 25 I should be allowed to be sterilised?

[MidnightMargaritas]

So basically I have two lovely kids one 6 year old DD and a 15 month old DS. I have been married to their father for 3 years and we have been together 8 years in total. I have always had problems with hormonal contraception. (Losing hair, getting sick, allergic reactions, pregnancy etc) I'm currently on the depo but dont want to remain on it as it seems to be making me even more anxious (i'm on 50mg sertraline). Have also had the mirena coil, implant (x3), cerelle, cerazette (got pregnant on this), microgynon, cilest (got pregnant on this) and used condoms.
After a very traumatic birth with my son (which ended in EMCS), I had terrible aftercare and PTSD so I decided to ask the GP during my therapy if I could be sterilised. I was told I wasn't allowed. At my age too many women regret sterilisation. I was then told I could meet someone else and decide to have children. The GP then said if one of my kids were to die I could still go on to have more. I left it six months and decided to ask again to be told the same thing and its really upset me. I was also told it costs the NHS a lot of money for the Op. What I dont understand is that if I was to have another child I would need a lot of therapy, medication, scans and i'd probably end up needing another c-section. Surely it would be more cost effective to let me be sterilised?
When I knew they werent relenting I asked about my DH having the snip. They said that was also unlikely due to his age.
I'd rather have the op because the thought of me ever being pregnant terrifies me. Even if me and my husband separate I would never want to have another child. I couldn't cope. I couldn't afford to get it done privately (6K)
So AIBU to think that at aged 25 I should be allowed to be sterilised?

There is lots of treatments we force on the NHS the NHS is there for medical procedures that affect our health saying women are forcing the NHS to pay for sterrilisation is saying couples are forcing the NHS to pay for fertility treatment or terminations sterrilisations are just as important to a woman as all of the above imo

Bugsy, I don't really think we're disagreeing. It's the reasons why more men are accepted for vasectomy than women are for sterilisation, that concerns me.

More men = easier operation/possibility of reversal ergo greater numbers of men ask for the operation. I don't have any difficulty comprehending why more men have vasectomies.

Marynary, No - you make a decision, you live with it. It's incumbent on the decision-maker to say 1) it's mostly irreversible and 2) we won't pay for any attempts at reversal... so be absolutely certain that you want this.

They can refuse reversal on the grounds of cost but not on the grounds that the woman caused the problem. They also can't refuse other treatments resulting from the sterilisation (e.g. complications, counselling).

Things change, feelings change, people change, circumstances change. Making such an irreversible life decision at age 25 generally has 'potential disaster' written all over it IMHO.

Other decisions made by people under 26 that are irreversible

Plastic surgery
Having children
Choosing a university or course
Abortion
learning to drive
traveling / going on holiday

There is lots of treatments we force on the NHS the NHS is there for medical procedures that affect our health saying women are forcing the NHS to pay for sterrilisation is saying couples are forcing the NHS to pay for fertility treatment or terminations sterrilisations are just as important to a woman as all of the above imo

I didn't say that they are "forcing them" to perform sterilisations.

Marynary, I agree with you - my post was also sex-neutral. NHS shouldn't be funding reversals of anything for anybody.

Marynary exclusion criteria re sterilisation and fertility treatment is very much in your category of individual blame. Nothing to do with chances of success etc.

No it isn't. It is in the category of working out the cost per improvement of quality of life or added life years as with everything else in the NHS.

Across the board, no exceptions. Adults capable of making decisions should be bound by them.

That would be fine if the NHS could just say that, get women to sign waivers and not be taken to court for it in the future. However, it doesn't work like that.

GPs are told not to refer people until the age of 30 it's very rare for anyone under 30 to be sterilised. It can depend on your area but general consensus is under 30 then no.

I'm 25 and getting sterilised but for various reasons I'd rather not disclose.

You are right you didnt say that Mary* you said women can't force the NHS to pay for it

Marynary no sterilisation being an exclusion criteria in my area for fertility treatment was not because it costs more for subsequent treatment or treatment likely to be less successful. Also most people who have had sterilisation have children so that would be an exclusion for fertility treatment locally.

Lyingwitch i agree the op for men is technically easier and is performed in more places than just hospitals and so is cheaper. However many many more men ask for sterilisation than women. If the women don't come in asking for sterilisation they cannot be referred.

No age criteria in my area re sterilisation

For those saying why does my husband not get the snip? Well what happens if we split in the future? I know 100% I do not want anymore children. I'd like to stay married but I'm not daft enough to think divorce never happens. He gets the snip and finds someone else and I'm still back at square one.
I want to be sterlised. Although I know DH would be willing to go through a vasectomy for me, I feel like its still me who needs this done.

Marynary no sterilisation being an exclusion criteria in my area for fertility treatment was not because it costs more for subsequent treatment or treatment likely to be less successful. Also most people who have had sterilisation have children so that would be an exclusion for fertility treatment locally.

I didn't say that it costs more per treatment. I said that it costs more per improvement in quality of life. i.e. it is assumed the someone without children will gain more from having a child than someone who already has children.

I cant afford six grand. I can barely afford the kids I have. sad
I never want to be pregnant again

Why on earth do you need £6k? Marie stopes charge less than £500 for a vasectomy . It's a minor procedure done under local anaesthetic .

www.mariestopes.org.uk/men/vasectomy/marie-stopes-vasectomy-services/vasectomy-fees

M0rven OP has stated she point blank wants sterilisation not her husband to have a vasectomy

It's £1572 or there about with Marie Stopes btw OP

1527 even ffs

'I'm 33, 4 DC. GP has refused to refer me.

There is something quiet disgusting about a male GP deciding he knows my reproductive decisions better than I do.

Currently have a copper coil and awful heavy periods each month.'

Either see another GP or go to your city's FPC. They will try to talk you into swapping to the Mirena before sterlisation, though.

I agree with you op and hope everything will be sorted for you now.

The op wants to takr charge of her own fertility she doesnt want to be pregnant again throwing about vasectomy prices is a bit pointless

No Marie stopes clinic within 65 miles from me performs female sterilisation. I don't drive.

That was for Morven

Can/have you tried a different doctor?
A friend of mine had it done at 26 after her second baby.

Also, didn't a woman go to court and win last year asking for the right to be sterilised?

This is an interesting study.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16413851