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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not wanting to socialise on holiday..

250 replies

Ditsyprint40 · 22/08/2016 13:47

Being on holiday and wanting to rest and recharge, not make friends with every other holiday maker staying at our resort/hotel etc!

OP posts:
arribaarriba · 23/08/2016 17:57

We were at a site last year and the boy from next door latched on to my ds as soon as we arrived. DS can be quite socially awkward so I am guessing it's because we were in a van and had a constant supply of ice pops (that he helped himself to Hmm).

We were friendly without oversharing with them (dh especially hates that) but as we left she gave me her email address, suggested we meet up at Christmas (er, why?!) and finally suggested we go back for the same week this year as the family of their older son's friend was apparently.

Needless to say, we didn't go. But I am keen to know if this other couple did!

SonicSpotlight · 23/08/2016 17:57

90 minutes of sharing a table with 6 other people isn't no big deal for some people. It would make me stressed. Knowing I had to do it again would make me want to fake illness and eat biscuits in my room instead of going to dinner. A cruise would be a nightmare for me because of the enforced proximity to other people.

I get through life with people around me but it does take a toll. I need time away from people to recover. When I get home and shut the front door it's like taking off a pair of really painful shoes or a too tight bra. It's a relief.

MaisyMoo123 · 23/08/2016 18:00

I should add, none of us are unsociable and we have lots of friends. We just feel that holiday time is about family and escaping those 'external' pressures.

SooBee61 · 23/08/2016 18:01

I can never understand those people who rent a big villa and go on hols with a load of other families including kids. Be my idea of hell!

cariboo · 23/08/2016 18:02

Not me; I could talk the hind leg off a donkey, as my mum says. I enjoy meeting people but if they're awful and boring, I make up some excuse and leave.

I do understand the normal British reserve but it seems to have skipped a generation in my case. Don't worry - I never speak unless spoken to and look for non-verbal cues.

Ugh! I sound like most people's worst nightmare.Grin

riceuten · 23/08/2016 18:09

I'm quite open to chatting or making friends on holidays and occasionally do and have occasionally been "FB friended" by the same, but generally, people leave me be, so it's not something that concerns me unduly

grubblyplank · 23/08/2016 18:10

So glad it's not just me-I dread the kids making friends with other kids in the event that their parents become too chatty.

And the thought of going as a wider family group fills me with horror. I want to be anti-social on holiday-therefore why would I go with family and be forced to interact with them

Rowenag · 23/08/2016 18:14

I take my DD (7) on holiday on my own usually as DH doesn't like to travel and has some phobias which deter him from coming with us. I am v sociable and would quite like to make temporary friends on holiday but no one has ever really been friendly. I think they would be more friendly if I was in a couple, I am not sure why though.

Dormez · 23/08/2016 18:14

I am your worst nightmare. My husband is not very chatty, I am very chatty. On holiday I seek out women, preferably ones with badly behaved children and a glass of wine to make holiday friends with. I suspect I would leave you all alone I use my special sensory powers to avoid non chattys.

juneau · 23/08/2016 18:15

It depends on the holiday. Skiing holidays I'm happy to be moderately sociable and our older DS usually makes friends, so we get chatting to the parents. However, summer holidays, when I'm fairly close to being naked, I prefer not to be chatting to someone random - particularly a random bloke who's kid just happens to have made friends with mine!

Janey50 · 23/08/2016 18:16

All this time I thought it was just me that CBA. I am a bit of a loner at the best if times and am very happy with my own company,so I'm certainly not going to suddenly become Mrs. Sociable just because I am on holiday. Sometimes I think I must be a bit odd because I would rather sit and read or twiddle about on the internet on my tablet rather than making smalltalk with someone I don't know very well. The exceptions to this are my DD and DG who I have always got time for. My idea of holiday hell would be for random strangers to try to make me their 'new best friend'.

lynzeylou · 23/08/2016 18:18

Total opposite here, as much as I love spending time with DH, I get a bit bored after a few days without someone else to chat to. I love when we make holiday friends, including on our honeymoon, it was lovely to have people to challenge to a game of pool or to have a drink at the bar with. It was an adults only all inc. Caribbean resort with a lot of friendly Americans. DH drew the line and actually walked off when I got into a discussion about politics though Blush

SpookyPotato · 23/08/2016 18:22

No Cariboo, you don't! Nothing wrong with being sociable at all, and you say you get your cues from people and sense when they want to be left alone. It's the people who don't get the hint and just want anyone to jabber on to that are the problem!

Payitforward55 · 23/08/2016 18:23

I'm so happy, I really though I was the only one (and totally weird) DH is warned not to speak to anyone on holiday. He often goes off on trips while I lounge by the pool and is under strict instruction not to bring back any dinner / drink invites!

Saj1988 · 23/08/2016 18:24

We go out of our way to avoid those people on holiday who are on a mission to make friends. Sounds awful but we just want to be on our own and relax.

clarehhh · 23/08/2016 18:26

I am the same a pleasant nod or hello even a brief chat is plenty!

whirlygirly · 23/08/2016 18:34

We never intend to make friends but it always happens, the dcs are ridiculously sociable and we get dragged in. Luckily this year they picked some lovely children whose parents were great fun and it made the evening "entertainment" semi bearable.
My favourite ever holiday was a week in Greece with dp where we spoke to nobody other than hotel staff and waiters. It took a fair bit of effort to be that anti social tbh Smile

mark0908 · 23/08/2016 18:35

I'm happy to say hello /good morning / good evening etc. , but that's as far as it should go. My partner and I have gone to relax and get away from it all.

I feel it's so annoying when people start wanting to make conversation by wanting to tell me their life stories and even worse when they start asking us questions and wanting to know everything about us, it's so rude!

HalfNamasteHalfTTTH · 23/08/2016 18:35

Holidays are for relaxing and getting away from your life so who wants to have to be polite, interested, witty, kind, generous whilst looking 24/7 successful, trendy and beach-ready and keepy-uppying a precarious facade of blissfully happy marriage, adorable perfect kids and an instagrammable life. Kick back and be yourself - unedited. Surely nothing will get rid of those who perch near one's pool lounger faster than just being real?

Titflaps · 23/08/2016 18:35

Yadnbu!! I don't like people at the best of times let alone when I'm trying to relax on my holidays!!

rockyroad3 · 23/08/2016 18:37

I am extremely anti-social on holiday. I don't mind the odd hello or very brief chat, but anything more than that brings me out in a sweat. My DH on the other hand is Mr Let's Make Friends. Several times on holiday this year I went down for breakfast to find a fellow holiday maker at our breakfast table, or DH sitting at someone else's. He invited several backpackers out for dinner with us to "show them around" Hmm

I have an aunt who always comes back from holiday with very in-depth stories about holiday makers and you can hardly mention any life event without them being used as a reference point.

eg. when I told her I had placenta previa she told me about Doreen from Sunderland who she met in Alcudia 15 years ago who also had it, and went into great detail about her haemorrhaging. When db was moving in with his partner she warned about Tracy and John who she met in Mexico 6 years ago, who told the story of John's ex Barbara who got a claim on his house 10 years previously becuase her mail had been going to his house for 6 months prior.

pollymere · 23/08/2016 18:39

Rent a cottage and don't make friends with anyone. It's heaven. I don't know why you think there's a need to make friends. Just enjoy the peace.

Daydream007 · 23/08/2016 18:49

I am exactly the same. I want to enjoy my family on holiday not get friendly with people I will never see again.

pennyunwise · 23/08/2016 18:57

@pollymere

That's what we do. Private cottage/villa in a rural area = bliss.

mark0908 · 23/08/2016 19:22

When we go abroad we always have an in-resort holiday advisor /rep who visits the hotel reguarly. I always see them as being someone who's there to talk to and have conversation with 'If you do want someone to talk to' that is! They're not just there to book excursions with or for when things go wrong!