Not wanting to socialise on holiday..

[Ditsyprint40]

Being on holiday and wanting to rest and recharge, not make friends with every other holiday maker staying at our resort/hotel etc!

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I can see both points of view here. I don't want to be best friends with anyone on hols but am fine to exchange the odd pleasantry on hols and would hate to have to do a bitch face as too much like hard work. But kids like making holiday friends and whilst they entertain each other we can all relax and have some peace in exchange for the odd pleasantry and maybe a meet up for one holiday drink with kids friends parents before one of us goes home.

Im dreading this EXACT thing.. it will be the first time that it's just me and my 5 year old on holiday this year, so I'm dreading that someone wants to take me 'under their wing' lol. Has any single mum's got any tips or advice on this?

Op you are definitely not being unreasonable!
I've no objection to children playing and making friends, but ours knew ( when they were little) that we didn't want them (other children) hanging around with us.
Can't bear all this in and out of each other's caravans etc. They didn't do this at home, so why should on holiday be any different?

I've no problem exchanging pleasantries, or comments with people,in a bar, or in hotels but it doesn't make me your best buddy because I speak to you!
I guess a lot of people will think this is really unfriendly, and I suppose it is, but I want holiday with the person/people I came with, not a load of strangers.
(Having said that, when we were first engaged, my husband and I went on a coach tour of Europe. We got to know people, then, because we were literally with them all day on the coach, on the excursions and in the hotels. There was a variety of people from our age group ( 20's) to eighty year old ladies ( who had more get- up -and- go than all of us!). We did enjoy this, but at the end of the tour we all went our separate ways.)

My family was like this,when I was young, and my husband's is similar. We just want a quiet life!

would hate to have to do a bitch face as too much like hard work

That's the benefit of having a resting bitch face. No effort at all. :)

I'm so glad this isn't just me! On our honeymoon husband and I were astounded at honeymoon couples insisting on making friends with each other and hanging out as a foursome. We go on holiday to spend time together, not having to spend time getting to know randoms!

Also cannot understand people who go on holiday with another family AIBU?

MIL and SFIL have never, in a near on forty year relationship gone on holiday just them.

They go with various friends and at least once a year go with MIL's sister and her husband. SFIL and sister do not get on at all and every year the holiday ends with a screaming argument.

And yet they still do it every single year

I have never fancied cruises and fancy them even less now - had no idea you had to sit with other people at dinner! Holiday hell for me. Dh would probably like it,though - he can be an infernal 'chatter' . I am the unsociable git-ette who just wants to be left in peace, preferably with a book.

Can I just say as an aside that I really love your username GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER possibly because it rings some uncomfortable bells for me

You would have to pay me thousands and thousands to go on a cruise! Aren't they nearly always riddled with norovirus?

You don't have to sit with others at dinner on a cruise only if you want to and only occasionally they have norovirus like you can get food poisoning at some hotels

I don't get going on holiday with another family either I wouldn't be as relaxed

Last time I went to Champneys they had a big table for all the single people to sit together. Luckily there was no room for me! Do I want to discuss people's colonic irrigation experiences over dinner - no.

Dh is Spanish and we live and holiday in Spain and he finds it hilarious how Brits make friends on holiday. He's even started people watching as it entertains him so much how they, after a couple of days by the pool bar and nights in the mini disco, become like life long best friends.

I just keep my head down and pretend to be Spanish to avoid cringey, forced situations.

I'm surprised Boca... I have been picking up Spanish friends in every holiday and unexpected places. I still have some good Spanish friends I met in the till's queue of IKEA more than 5 years ago.

Guess we are all different. Our DS has made friends with a boy who is an only child so only child is forever asking us which bar we are going to tonight. That gets a bitch much we met them by chance once and it was fine but I don't fancy a deliberate encounter. I am too happy on holiday to have a bitch face resting or otherwise which is probably why we always attract various families and individuals. I am pleasant
briefly then head off somewhere or go back to my book.

Meeting new people has enriched my life in all sorts of ways, on holiday or otherwise. I've learned so much and experienced things I otherwise never would have done. Of course you're not going to get along with everyone but I feel sad reading about you people who don't have the inclination or confidence to interact with a stranger to even find out.

People on here seem to be assuming everyone you meet on holiday is a clingy annoying moron. Do you all go on the same cheap & tacky package holidays or something?

It's not always about not having confidence or assuming people are clingy, it's about just wanting to just be with our families and not have to socialise with other people. This is effort to many people and they just want to relax on holiday.

Currently on an all singing, all dancing package holiday in a large hotel and no one speaks to me except dh, ds and the staff. Lovely. Im wiling to take the risk I'm missing out on terribly interesting convos in order to sidestep hours of small talk. Less competition for the chatterers then!

YANBU. When I went on family holidays with my parents, my mum would always keep saying "Why don't you go and say hello to those people?" and "Aren't you lonely?" (only child). I go on holiday primarily for four things: swimming (in the pool but ideally in the sea), sunbathing, scuba diving (if it's a beach holiday) and reading. Not socialising. I'll say hello to people, I'll smile and nod, I'll be polite, I'll hold a conversation if someone else starts it but I don't really want to be sociable. I just want to relax xD

Sorry, posted too soon. Wanted to add that despite this I have made a few good friends over my years of holidays, and we've stayed in touch to this day. I've also been on a couple of solo holidays where I do talk to people in the bar or whatever. But not all the time. I don't have the energy to spent every second of my holiday doing things with other people. Sometimes it's nice to lie on your sunbed quietly and read a book, or go swimming or whatever, and not have to worry about being interesting and entertaining with other people.

I think some families just actually don't know how to be just themselves together. They feel the need to bring other people on board almost to dilute each other's company. I'm not saying everyone is like that, but it seems that's often the case.

They say family holidays are one of the most stressful things for some people. 24hrs in each others company for 14 days... Some just can't cope alone and need to widen the group.

Mary you sound quite up your own arse it doesn't make you special if you don't do package holidays you know.

I don't like talking to people when on holiday I feel uncomfortable and people are allowed to decide not to socialise, I get enriched from talking to the people I do know and from what I do in day to day life. Holidays for me are about getting away from day to day life and relaxing.

Ah DP and I are extremely anti social on holiday. Happy to smile and say hello but no more than exchanging pleasantries thank you very much.

For some reason in America tho, women always chat to me and try to make friends, which surprises me as I have resting bitch face. Usually quite trendy glamorous types I would like to be friends with over here. They must think I'm a challenge!

In this country it can be quite funny with DP as he is vaguely well known and his job is very popular with men. He's often at the bar being asked a million questions by blokes, looking exceeding grumpy, while I am sat at my table with my wine and a book feeling smug. He was once so standoffish with an "admirer" I gave him a talking to so he grudgingly makes an effort now.

We do however know THE most extrovert couple who make friends wherever they go. On their honeymoon in the Californian wine country they got themselves invited to a party, became BFFs with some millionaires and stayed at their vineyard for a few days. Still in touch a decade on! And when she flew out to meet her husband on a business trip last year she made a friend on the plane and brought her straight out for a drink. Who does that?! DP says it's because they can't actually stand being alone with each other which is a bit mean.

I've done all inclusive many times and cruised the last 3 years - my husband and I and young daughter NEVER sit with other people at mealtimes. We always request our own table (as do other couples/families) - you don't have to dine with other people. I also don't go on holiday to make friends. We speak to people as required/friendly manner and had a great time on the cruise we've just returned from - polite conversation when required during the day (in lift etc) and then some fun conversation in the evening with a couple we got on well with at the bar. We didn't feel the need to spend every day/night with them, hardly saw them TBH.

YANBU, am also totally on holiday to spend quality time with my family and don't want to hear other people's thoughts/issues/life stories - unless I'm a bit tipsy and in the mood for some lighthearted chat TBH and have met some people I genuinely find interesting. Husband is the same.

We go on cruises every year and just have our own table there's lots of tables for two these days! When we have been with our sons we would just sit with them xxI am fairly anti social and I love them on the last one we had our own private balcony which was lovely.My husband chats a bit more with people so it suits him as well xx