Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

You couldn't write this sh*t!!!!!

354 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 21/08/2016 18:36

I literally can not believe what has just happened to me, I am fuming, in shock and shaking...

I have a very good friend, part of the same friendship group wouldn't say she is my bestest friend but always been a good one. I was out for dinner with our group a few nights ago and she was talking about how she is convinced her fiancé is having an affair. We all told her we didn't think he was because tbh he's fantastic and quite obviously loves her and she's just paranoid (always been a bit of a drama queen)...

Now rewind to around a month ago I was at a family function and my younger cousin was there (18) who I'm not exactly close to but we do get on very well. She tells me that she has a new boyfriend I ask why he isn't there, she confides in me that he has a serious girlfriend but that she is depressed and suicidal and he can't leave her Hmm I expressed that it was wrong even if that was his situation because he should be focussing on trying to end it gently, not doing the thing that could push this poor girl over the edge...

So surprise surprise you all know where this is going... I am out today, cousin calls me, can i come over, I can hear she's in tears. Turns out she's pregnant, she wants the baby, the prick is pressuring her to abort. I start trying to talk to her about her options etc etc. Her phones ringing like MAD and she tells me it's him and she's ignoring she thought he loved her etc then she gets a text and she tells me he's outside and wants her to come down and talk to him, I look outside and who is it?! YOU GUESSED IT!!!!

My friend is definitely not depressed or suicidal he is just a complete and utter wanker and I am furious. She went with him and i didn't tell her because i don't know what to do. I don't like to get involved in things like this normally but AIBU I'm already involved aren't I?? Fuck sake!!!!

OP posts:
BeyondLovesSweetDee · 21/08/2016 21:02

I wouldn't give it either. I'd understand her anger a little more if your cousin knew actual true details, but not when she has been lied to too.

MrsHam13 · 21/08/2016 21:03

At least she found out before marriage! What a messy situation.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 21/08/2016 21:03

It's great you had the guts to tell your friend. Not easy.

Sleeplessinmybedroom · 21/08/2016 21:03

No don't give her the number.

SouthWindsWesterly · 21/08/2016 21:03

Whenever someone asks me for someone else's number, I always say "I'll ask X if I can forward it on" Its not your number to give - your cousin needs to give permission and right now she's not in the right head space to do that.

Advicepls7080 · 21/08/2016 21:04

Don't give her the number!

Bogeyface · 21/08/2016 21:04

Dont give her the number.

At the moment she needs your cousin to be some sort of seductive temptress, the idea that her fiance willingly shagged a teenager may be too much for her to come to terms with. She needs to blame your cousin.

I think, if you can, remind your friend that your cousin was taken in by him too, that he lied to her and because she was so young, she believed him. That her life has been wrecked by this man too.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 21/08/2016 21:04

He really is a dick, always trying to blame a hysterical woman for his shortcomings - first telling your cousin his fiancee was suicidal, then blaming you for ruining his life and claiming your cousin is off balance. Next he'll be telling the fiancee that you made it all up because of some mental health malady.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 21/08/2016 21:04

He really is a dick, always trying to blame a hysterical woman for his shortcomings - first telling your cousin his fiancee was suicidal, then blaming you for ruining his life and claiming your cousin is off balance. Next he'll be telling the fiancee that you made it all up because of some mental health malady.

RepentAtLeisure · 21/08/2016 21:04

No, don't set an angry woman on an upset pregnant 18 year old. Remind your friend which way her vitriol should be directed.

Arfarfanarf · 21/08/2016 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiddleClassProblem · 21/08/2016 21:04

Weren't you upstairs? Not the point

I think you will need to be involed a little, don't give number but maybe you could offer a mediated sit down so they can both find out everything maybe next weekend. If she has her number she can just attack and as you said she's quite a young vulnerable young girl x

Theimpossiblegirl · 21/08/2016 21:05

Don't give her the number whatever you do. Your poor cousin will be in bits and won't need a call from the friend adding to it.

Bogeyface · 21/08/2016 21:05

And that instead o blaming each other, her and cousin need to focus their hatred on him.

SirKillalot · 21/08/2016 21:06

Don't give her the number, her anger needs to be at her DP not your cousin.

Purpleeggs · 21/08/2016 21:06

Doctor foster plot 😱 I don't envy you.

dowhatnow · 21/08/2016 21:07

Sounds messy.

Storminateapot · 21/08/2016 21:09

I get that she feels the need to direct her fury at your cousin, but she's little more than a child. A naive, pregnant girl whose life is also round her feet. She doesn't need to hear what your friend has to say.
If your friend must speak to someone then let it be your aunt in a few days when things have settled. Might be worth warning them friend is on the warpath in case the Bastard gives her the info himself.

I can well believe this story, something a bit similar happened to me at the hands of my scumbag ex and I still say it would be considered far-fetched in a soap opera.

CheerfulYank · 21/08/2016 21:11

My friend told her SIL that her husband was cheating on her and eventually they (SIL and her DH) made up and accused my friend of trying to "ruin their happiness"...yeah okaaaaayyyy.

LineyReborn · 21/08/2016 21:13

Sadly, shit like this does happen all the time.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 21/08/2016 21:13

Agree. Don't give number

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 21/08/2016 21:14

I've been in a similar situation with best friend and an older best friend - I spent a sleepless night worrying then got up early went round on a Sunday morning to one then the other and told them each the truth. I've never regretted it - the man in question had actually told me in confidence in a pub the night before whilst we were with a crowd of friends what he was doing - seeing my new best friend and my older best friend at the and time -? I couldn't have lived with myself not saying anything. Both girls were forever grateful. He has remained a friend - he knew he was a shit and never resented me for dobbing him in.

ScarlettDarling · 21/08/2016 21:16

What a nightmare

MrsHam13 · 21/08/2016 21:16

Op you said you were upstairs and then her dad ran up and she threw her ring out the window. Now you are saying She placed it out the livingroom window.

Batteriesallgone · 21/08/2016 21:17

Some drama queens have the art of 'take off piece of jewellery and artfully fling it dramatically somewhere it will be easily found' down to a fine art. Much like seizing your phone from you in a temper and flinging it down so you get terrified it's going to smash on the floor only to find its landed on the only soft spot in the room. Do other people not have a friend like this? I thought every friendship group had to have one for quota reasons.

I can well believe the ring was both 'flung' and coincidentally easily found.