AIBU to expect DH to organise his daughters birthday?

[Evilstepmum01]

FFS! DSD birthday this weekend, I;ve been asking DH all week what he has planned. Just asked me what I'm doing? Er....no! Sorry, I organised our DS's birthday, I told him last month this was up to him to organise. Apparently, according to him, this is the first I've mentioned it!
I have taken a step back from DSD since her mum was more of an arse than usual and explained this to DH.
Apologies for the rant, he's doing my head in with 'Whats wrong with you?' wtf-nothings wrong, just get your shit together please!!!

You and her dad had planned a day out though, you said so on your other thread. You just decided to cancel it/cut it short as your ds had a better offer!

Well that changes my opinion somewhat...

Lunar1 have reorganised ds's friends party. I got the days wrong. I made a mistake. this happens to humans.

Unless you are a SM or SD, kindly dont judge me, its a complicated situation. I simply had to say something! Thought saying it on here would make me feel better. Mumsnet, a supportive forum. No worries, thats another mistake I made.

My opinion remains, you can only do what you can do.

Better to do a bit and be happy and relaxed rather than martyr yourself on the alter on mumsnet self righteousness.

Indeed. I'd love to be as perfect as some of you.

It wont take an hour to go to a large supermarket, get some bits and a cake, maybe buy popcorn and let her choose a special film perhaps? Sorry, but once you have any form of child, step, biological, whatever it doesn't matter a hoot whether you are tired. It is her birthday, she is a little girl and you need to make it special.
To be blunt and this is not right, but in my experience it is often the women who organise the parties. He's not unusual, probably has no clue. You took on the responsibility of looking after this little girl when you entered a relationship with her father, you can't just say you won't do stuff if he doesn't for her!

If the party is reorganised can't you go back to the originally planned day out?

How many step-children did you say you had?

splendide thats what we're doing. Organising a birthday tea now as its clearly expected of me.

Presents and a day out sounds plenty to me although I don't have one that age. Order a pizza when you get home! Be kind to yourself.

She's her stepmother

Yes, that is what fathers wife means. It also means: not her parent.

You took on the responsibility when he had sex with her mother.

Yes woman, get off your lazy fat(why not a bit of fat shaming too?) arse and work. And do some ironing. Cleaning, I bet your house is filthy. Do you cook? You could handcraft a cake or use scraps to make a buffet for five hundred.

Just because she is her parent's child does not mean we can't make you feel crap. A job well done.

Have a fag.

Drink more cheap wine. You old tart.

Some shifty comments on here.
This is not evilstep daughter, it's her DSD, surely it's up to the parents to organise something for her birthday, not her??
I bet if this was the other way rounder and the stepmother had organised a wonderful party there would still be bitchy comments.

Why does it have to be her responsibility? It's the responsibility of the bloody parents, not the stepmum.

evil FWIW I think YADNU about this at all.

Oh god, I want a fag! I stopped tho! Bollocks!

On the cheap wine already! How did you know my arse is fat?

bit finally someone speaking sense

By your attitude

What the actual fuck. You told her father that he needed to organise his daughter's party and he chose instead to not do it, not think about it and pass the reaponsibility to you? How THE ACTUAL FUCK are people saying this is your reaponsibility. It isnt. She is havig a spa day woth her mother. She has presents. And youre taking her out for a treat. If your husband wants to do more, it is HIS responsibility. Ffs people raise your standards of your husbands' Behaviour.

Because this old tart with a fat arse is pissed.

Good old MN hypocrisy.

yes it only takes an hour to nip to the shops to be cake etc. So her husband can do it for HIS child.

Why is it the op's responsibility to organise HIS child's birthday? Surely he knows when it is? Surely he knows that he should be thinking about presents, party or outing and a cake?

Any other thread about step parenting and there will be hundreds of women screeching 'Stay out of it, this is NOT your child', you are overstepping the mark, keep out of it, it's down to the parents, not you.

And yet here we are, in the year 2016 and Mumnset has decreed that organising the child's birthday should be down to the SM because it only takes an hour to pop to the fucking shops.

Jesus!

I agree with you. Really hate it when men assume you will sort everything out.

I am horrified at this thread. Evil please just let her dad organise something and don't rescue him. I am sure he can work out how to arrange a birthday tea. It is not a superpower that comes with tits and fanjo.

FGS, yes her FATHER should be stepping up. And no, you shouldn't have to if he can't be arsed. Why do so many men expect their wives to take over and sort everything for their DC. How will he ever learn if he isn't told he is responsible for this. He shouldn't even have to be told!

In hindsight this very issued has made me quite bitter about DH and his DC. As soon as we were married and I moved in, it was me with the discipline, the arranging, the planning and thinking of things. And he sat back and did fuck all. Really made those years quite unhappy. I've learned my lesson somewhat and leave him to it these days.

hahahha! My fat arse is comfortably tipsy!

The irony is OP, if you'd have started a thread saying how you wanted to throw your DSS a birthday party, you'd have been flamed because it's not your place!

Mumsnet 101-stepmums are always in the wrong

mycat my thoughts exactly!

You are being totally reasonable. If his daughter's birthday is important to him he will sort it out. If it isn't important, he won't. I expect he will go rather over the top in a panic and she will be delighted.