To ask for your favourite phrases

[scarednoob]

Funny or deep or whatever. I love:

"He'd eat one potato more than a pig" and "more fat on a racing snake". Both self explanatory

My nan also said 'all fur coat and no knickers". One of my friends says "I'd rather gouge my eye out with a rust spoon"

I also like " a couple of sarnie a short of a pic nic".

My mum ( who didn't have a nasty bone in her body ) had a really mean saying: 'I hope your rabbit dies and you can't sell the hutch.'

On the other hand, my MIL ( who had plenty such bones ) had a phrase for people who always tried to go one better - without apparently realising that she was such a person herself.
'Oh, her,' she would say scathingly ' if she hasn't got it downstairs, it's in the loft.'

"She has a face like a bull dog licking piss off a nettle." (She doesn't look very happy about that)

Said in a state of utter surprise...... 'Well shit in my hat and stamp on it'

"I could eat a buttered brick."

"I could sleep on a galloping hedgehog."

"Tha's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."

"Has the cow died?" when there's not enough milk in a cup of tea.

One that's usually said to the dcs is "has tha bin down t' pit?" when they come in filthy from playing out.

"Is Daisy dead?" Where the chuft is the milk in this brew.
"She could whisper across two fields - Sheffield and Huddersfield" - loud mouth.
"Not as green as I am cabbage looking" I might be ugly but im not daft.

Remember from when I was a kid - "Ah could eat a scabby pig 'bowt bread" ('bowt means without) and one to talk about an improvement in the weather "It's an overcoat warmer today"- from Lancashire

Like a tramp on chips

"What do you expect from a pig but a grunt?" - about a rude person being their usual rude self.

"Face like a slapped arse"

One of my personal favourites is "couldn't organise a prayer in church"

Have loads, but another fave "from breakfast time until the end of time"

He's not knitting with both needles

He's only got one oar in the water

Has the cat died - someone who's trousers are too short

I didn't come down with yesterday's rain ( same as I wasn't born yesterday )

Were you born in a barn? - For when someone comes in a room and doesn't close the door
For the love of the wee donkey! - An exclamation of annoyance

brent your DM's one is particularly mean - I take it that is reserved for people she really doesn't like.

"(What) In the name of the wee man" - said in exasperation or disbelief

Shit the nest

Sorry to piss on your parade
I don't hold any stock in what she has to say
By what stretch of the imagination
Like a fart in a bottle
Like a fiddlers elbow

Howling at pea in a colander!

Couldn't carry a tune in a bucket - can't sing

She could eat an apple through a letterbox (big teeth).

He's breaking the teeth in for the camel .

'Trot mare, trot foal' I like.

What could possibly go wrong?!

As sure as eggs is eggs and God made little apples.

Is he/she strange? (Oft said in my part of Scotland when someone holds a baby for the first time)