To not want to be given baby clothes?

[theenchantedforests]

It's a long-awaited for, desperately wanted, very probably only, baby girl, due end of November.

And we have been INUNDATED. Not presents but just bags and bags of stuff and I feel horrible, but I don't want it. I want to buy our own things.

AIBU to politely say no? Yesterday our neighbour was knocking on the door giving us bags her granddaughter had outgrown and looked a bit offended when I said no thanks!

YANBU!! You do not have to accept other people's donations. It's utter madness that you'd have to accept bags of stuff that you don't want, simply out of politeness.

I really enjoyed buying new clothes for my DS1 and DS2. They are now 5 and 8 and I still enjoy shopping for clothes for them and we can afford it. It's not being snobby, it's just enjoyable. What is not enjoyable, is to carry bags of stuff(that you didn't want in the first place) to the nearest charity shop, especially if the nearest one is in an old market town where you can't park directly outside, which in turn means you have to negotiate a bin bag or two as well as a pram with a new born.

We both work full time, have a house in need of renovation with a big overgrown garden and don't have the TIME to be running to and from the nearest town (about ten minutes in the car then you have to pay for petrol) to give someone else's stuff to charity

If you have the time to buy everything you will need brand new, then you definitley have time for a run to the charity shop, so quit with that shit.

But just say no in the first place. This is such a non issue.

Where are all you people refusing hand me downs getting them from?! I need more friends/family like yours!

I love hand me downs but we're the first in our generarion in our family to have kids so no relative seconds and similarly were amongst the first in our friends.

Anyone getting rid of girl stuff from newborn to 6 years (range of eldest to youngest) bristol give me a shout and I'll happily take it off your hands

I give a few bits to our next door neighbours little girl whne my dd has out grown them, she loves it as although they will be starting reception together nag is 9mths younger and tiny. With all my kids I was hapy for any hand me downs, I used them for every day when they would get sicked, pooped and widdled on and saved the new stuff for days out, when expecting visitors etc

Yanbu

We got given loads of stuff and at first it was lovely. But after a while it starts to feel as if your just saving them.a trip to a charity shop themselves.

As already pointed out often you have to try and keep track of it all which is stressful and try and keep it clean enough to return. Then of course there's the ton of shit u just can't use because by the time the all in one coat finally fits it's July.....

So your drawers and loft end up so full of stuff you can't access half if it anyway and it's all out of season.

We only have a small house and have enough trouble keeping things to a minimum as it is without the added pressure of trying to house other people's junk.

It didn't seem to stop with clothes for us. It went from.clothes to shoes and bags to entire piles of magazines or drawing stuff and books and old toys.

I've not been able to by my dds half the stuff I wanted to as we just have do much other stuff to get rid of first.

Yanbu to say no thank you for now but I agree with those saying keep the lines of supply open if you can!
My children (7 & 4) love getting a bag of hand me downs to sort through and it saves a fortune. I have 'curated' a few people who I know always pass on nice things and say no thank you to those who pass on things which aren't to my taste. (That comes across snobbier than it is-I'm always grateful and polite).

It was especially useful when they were at nursery and trashed clothes daily.

I pass things on too but always make sure the person knows they can decline without me being offended.

Be aware that you will (probably) be given heaps of clothes as presents when the baby arrives-I barely had to buy a thing for the first 6 months as I had so many!

We were given tonnes of hand me downs - we just said thanks and kept bits we liked and passed the rest on to charity shops. We did dress her in things that weren't to our taste because they were the right size in the right season and we just couldn't justify the waste/expense of buying the same thing new in a different style or colour.

If you're wealthy, I can understand it- if you're not, I think you're being silly but...you're choice.

*your choice

I'm the youngest in my generation and have the youngest child in hers. We get bin liners of clothes and toys and three times a year when everyone else is having a clear out.

When we first had her it irritated me, we had plenty of money and I wanted to buy my own things. But now both our incomes are a lot lower (my reduced hours, his career change) and I'm grateful for the free gifts.

But either ways I've always happily accepted and just kept the things I like and when I asked if they wanted it back they all pretty much said "no way in hell" and were happy for me to give it to charity. So I tend to put it in those bags that you leave on the door step for charity.

I've always kept the toys. Toy hand me downs have saved us a small fortune. Especially the big garden toys.

You are not being unreasonable to want to buy your own however I think you should feel very grateful that so many people are offering you bags of clothes. Just make sure you're tactful and say we have plenty now but thankyou very much for the offer.

There will be someone in need of them somewhere maybe the womens refuges and shelters etc.

I gave a big bag away to a friend last week and they said yes please and really appreciated it.

YANBU at all but in a year or two when you've got a house full of clothes that no longer fit, you'll realise why they're doing it.

I give bog standard stuff like baby vests etc to the clothes bank but I have a lot of nice things I don't want to chuck out. Local charity shops round here don't want baby stuff, silly as that sounds. I've tried charities and churches, including ones for homeless families and asylum seekers, and they all say they don't want baby clothes. So the stuff that has sentimental value for me I have hung on to for when friends have babies. I only ever offer 4 or 5 things because I know people have problems with space, but I like to think that things have gone to a good home. Though of course if they tell me they don't want any I'm not offended in the slightest, so don't worry about offending people. Just say thanks but you have totally run out of storage space because you have so much already, or take one token thing.

I love outgrowns and still accept everything as my Dd is the smallest in school, we cherry pick and charity the rest, but the doorstep charity collection is a godsend, otherwise it's schlep it 15 miles to the nearest charity shop with parking so I do see OPs point. Even if she was happy for hand-me-downs it sounds like this is too much for anyone and is just creating work for her.

One time, a school mum said she'd 'popped some stuff in the back of the car' (always open outside school) and when I got there the back of my Freelander was rammed. Most of if was adult clothes too, including undies I had to go through it all and got about 5 items, then was stuck with disposing of the rest. I was less than delighted.

If people don't want clothes put them in trash nothing. That way you get to choose who to go them too and have stuff collected. Win win

just say no thanks i have plenty .but to be honest if you can afford it then just buy everything new .why not have everything new and special for your long awaited arrival .you are not being snobby .good luck for november what a lovely early christmas present

Yanbu to want everything new and to your taste! I loved buying baby clothes and still love getting things for DD that are to my taste and style (very simple and classic, not too pink or girly)

But Yabu to decline handmedowns full stop. You never know what you may find in there!

Yes, some people definitely do see a pg mum as a way of clearing out their old baby stuff guilt-free. When I was pg I had a friend who literally gave me everything she found in her house, and some of it had been stored in the shed and had gone a bit mouldy! I ended up sorting and chucking a lot. However, in the bags of old worn clothes and other things were a few lovely gems - Brio toys, beautiful designer dresses, babygros from Frugi and so on. Lots of stuff wasn't to my taste so I just sent it to charity/chucked it, but the odd lovely or useful thing really helped. And she's a lovely, kind friend who I much appreciate, so taking and sorting through the stuff (and sending her the odd pic of DD wearing one of the items) has been a very small price to pay for nurturing a good friendship.

Similarly, my sister has completely different taste from me (pink clothes dripping with sequinned butterflies etc.) and I barely used many of the things she passed on to me, but there were also some very useful basics that I was happy to make use of when needed - when you've run out of sleep suits in the middle of the night you really don't mind using one that isn't quite your style!

DD was a vommer and a very messy BLW baby, and actually old worn clothes were fantastic for mealtimes, messy play, nursery etc. so you might rethink on the "not to your taste" clothes a bit later on. I am also very particular about my taste in what DD wears but was also very happy to have some things that could be trashed without guilt when they get to the toddler/weaning stage!

I think it's an odd position to have, but of course you don't have to accept stuff if you don't want it.

However, people will think that it's... Well, odd. Nothing you can do about it if buying brand new is your choice, then you just have to accept many people will b

Congratulations on your little girl! Wishing both of you a safe delivery.

I don't think YABU but I think if this is your first, you might feel differently after baby comes. When I was pregnant with my first, we got loads from DH's family, I was nesting and excited and totally uninterested in going through 10 massive bags of old baby clothes.
After he was born I appreciated donations in a new way, babies are messy, they grow fast and they don't give a shit about what they're wearing. When your newborn does an epic up-the-back milky poo all over the carefully selected organic cotton onesie with cute giraffes on it that cost £20 shopping for adorable baby things starts to seem less important.

Op, if you have taken some of the cloths make sure you keep them in good condition. Before Mn, I didn't know people ask for baby cloths back. It's a think apparently.

I have to say it gives me a disproportionate amount of pleasure to see something I've passed on being worn! Its nice to remember my children at the same age

YANBU. Although I personally was pleased to receive hand me downs, it's not for everyone and dumping huge a bag of mixed sized unwanted baby clothes on a heavily pregnant woman/new mother that she will have to wash and sort out is just creating more work and hassle for her. They only do it because they want to get rid of it and can't be bothered to sort it out and take it to a charity shop themselves.

I don't think people give away old baby clothes because they can't be bothered taking them to the charity shop. It's because the items are of sentimental value, embroidered with memories, and so it's very difficult to get rid of them. Passing them on to somebody you know is easier emotionally -if you are sentimental like me-

cuntish really?? I would never expect to have to give them back, I wouldn't take them in the first place if that was the case, I'd be worried about every tomato based meal in case they stained