Aibu to think the women in M&S were rude to dh?

[Slightlypanicked]

Took dd for her school uniform today and tried next and a few other shops but none of the skirts fit her little waist and are long enough so I thought I'd try M&S. Found a few nice ones and took her into the changing rooms.
There was us and another couple of women with a little boy getting changed in there.
Finally found a skirt to fit dd but thought it looked a little long so shouted dh and asked if it looked to long so he popped his head round from where he was sitting on the sofa to look at the length and the two women on fitting rooms said "excuse me but there could be women getting bra fittings round there you can't go round there" really loudly in front of the women in there with the little boy and left dh looking really embarrassed.

I went round and said I thought that it was very rude to embarrass him like that in front of everyone and the woman started arguing with me about bra fittings as a defence. There was literally my dd and a probably 8 year old boy and a total of 3 changing rooms.

I changed dd chucked the skirts on the desk and left.
What would dh do if he went alone with dd?

And how many men would assume a changing room in a knicker department was for them?

It's simple, as I see it. It's in a (small) lingerie section and is used for bra fittings. So the OP's husband wasn't welcome in there. I don't get the agonising over it.

First world problems

Thee is a zombie thread on mumsnet with the same scenario but a boy and a woman in "male" changing rooms

June 2014, but same set up of changing rooms

I have never been in a mixed sex changjng room in m&s

Not saying it doesnt exist inthe OPs town, might be a new thing

This wasn't a female only changing room Buffy

And how many men would assume a changing room in a knicker department was for them?

It's not in the knicker dept, it was in the school uniform dept. So it had a few knickers nearby - so what? Men buy their kids uniforms now and it was not a female only changing room - he was entitled to be there, just as I'd have been entitled to have been in a changing room next to the school uniform with some men's underwear and clothes nearby.

And he wasn't in the changing room, he was sitting on a sofa round from the changing room and was able to peer round (to a changing room where no-one was having a bra fitting) from where he was sitting

Are you going to form a pressure group, SirChenjin and campaign for the right for men to look into changing rooms used by women? You sound quite impassioned.

I think despite not being clearly labelled enough Sir Chenjin it was

Actually OP which store was it?

Did the Men's section have a Fitting room?
You see in our store Menswear 'section' has a Fitting Room.
Children/Lingerie/Womens 'sections' have a Fitting room.

As someone who has worked in their local store for longer than she cared to admit I've never seen men walking over to the women's section to try on and vice versa people just generally knew which were which - common sense.

As I've said before Men aren't allowed in the Women's/Lingerie Fitting rooms unless as I recall they were helping a partner in the disabled cubicles. It is not the poor assistants fault if you don't like it take it up with head office.

I stand by the fact OP was rude by throwing the skirt on the table she could have dealt with it better if her husband really was so mortified by it all.

I don't get the point of AIBUs like this.

Clearly the op things SINBU. So why come here and ask. Utterly pointless.

For what it's worth I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

M&S usually have mixed changing rooms. And if anyone was having a bra fitting why would they have the door open?! Bizarre. Your husband did nothing wrong. I could understand if he was peeping under doors or curtains to find you but your daughter was waiting in the hall to show him so again he's done nothing wrong. The women were rude. XxX

Any M&S stores I've been in have never had communal changing rooms. I would have assumed where there is a lingerie section, the changing room would be for women.

They need better signs.

Bra fitting shouldn't be in with school uniforms.

It doesn't matter how small the underwear department is, men shouldn't be in the bra changing room - and there should be a proper sign if it isn't obvious.

Possibly they assume men with children will use the men's changing room rather than childrens plus bras.

Which M&S branches have mixed sex fitting rooms?

I've never been to an M&S that has unisex fitting rooms....

Two M&S shops where I live have mixed changing rooms. As do the Matalans, and the Next stores. XxX

Which M&S stores are they?

They are in Stoke xxx

Thing is you've cut your nose off to spite your face op. You still have no school skirt for dd

The M&S website says Stoke has separate male and female fitting rooms.

Bloody hell, he's a grown up, he was embarrassed a little. Chalk it up and move on.

Our M&S has fitting rooms like that. It is quite true that there is a small length of corridor, where sometimes women come out of their cubicle (with proper locable door) in their undies to ask for a different size etc. The space is L shaped and a man could easily go in at one end and put his head round the corner and give his opinion on a woman in her knickers. This is why the staff don't let men put their heads round and make sure that said errant man withdraws sharpish.

Just because there was only a small boy getting changed in a cubicle this time, doesn't mean there won't be a woman, or a youngish teen, emerging shyly to put her head round the L from the other direction, to ask staff to find a Double E please.

I think the most unreasonabke person in this was you, OP. Throwng the skirts down in a strop was ridiculous.

If the layout is similar to our M&S then calling it a corridor is a bit disingenuous because the corridor part is actually through the fitting room doorway and you have to walk passed the fitting room staff to access it. It's not an open corridor in the store. It's clearly part of the fitting room and people tend to treat it as such.
And as PPs have said, I'm unsure why some posters are acting so outraged (including the OP). It's hardly a new stringent rule introduced to annoy OP's DH. It's always been the case that men can't just wander into female changing rooms.
Despite the posters trying to say it was a mixed changing room. It obviously wasn't. How do we know? Because the staff told OP's DH he couldn't come in. And since they work there, I am assuming they know better than some random posters on MN.

For any posters who don't think it's appropriate to have a man in women's changing rooms (regardless of whether these were actually unisex), have you written to your MPs about the likely changes to make anyone who "identifies" as a woman, legally one? Able to access not just changing rooms with individual cubicles, but showers, hospital wards, DV shelters etc?

Your husband should not have put his head in the women's changing room. Are you unable to make a decision about the length of your child's skirt without his advice?
You sound to have been extremely rude yourself.

The assistant was an idiot.

I ve seen many men do as your dh did, its not an issue whenever i ve seen it.

I think its also laughable to assume your dh would be interested in gawping at other women