Aibu to think the women in M&S were rude to dh?

[Slightlypanicked]

Took dd for her school uniform today and tried next and a few other shops but none of the skirts fit her little waist and are long enough so I thought I'd try M&S. Found a few nice ones and took her into the changing rooms.
There was us and another couple of women with a little boy getting changed in there.
Finally found a skirt to fit dd but thought it looked a little long so shouted dh and asked if it looked to long so he popped his head round from where he was sitting on the sofa to look at the length and the two women on fitting rooms said "excuse me but there could be women getting bra fittings round there you can't go round there" really loudly in front of the women in there with the little boy and left dh looking really embarrassed.

I went round and said I thought that it was very rude to embarrass him like that in front of everyone and the woman started arguing with me about bra fittings as a defence. There was literally my dd and a probably 8 year old boy and a total of 3 changing rooms.

I changed dd chucked the skirts on the desk and left.
What would dh do if he went alone with dd?

The vast majority of women's fitting rooms I have ever been in have consisted of individual cubicles off a corridor, including in M & S.

I can't really work out what other configuration individual cubicles could take. All in a circle around a revolving disco floor?

And men don't go in women's fitting rooms.

I am surprised this is so controversial.

I have never seen men going into them, so assumed this was well known.

OP, I had a very similar experience when we came to live in the UK. My DW expected me to accompany her to the fitting room, but the woman in M&S made it quite clear that was not going to happen.

I've just learned to accept it as part of British culture.

YABVVVU. The staff were just doing their job. Presumably your DH can stand up for himself or do you always mother him and insist on sorting out problems for him? Also, can you not make a decision for yourself about whether a skirt fits your DD?

With the exception of any additional needs. Why does an adult have to accompany another adult to the changing room anyway?

I changed dd chucked the skirts on the desk and left.

How mature and grown up of you.

so shouted dh and asked if it looked to long so he popped his head round from where he was sitting on the sofa to look at the length

No male of the species was seen in the actual changing room.

That's a bit I am confused about.
If he remained seated then why did they have to tell him he couldn't go in there. Which implies he was stood and moving towards the area. No?

If that is all it takes for your DH to get embarrassed he needs to grow a thicker skin.

Why can't some people make simple decisions on their own without asking the opinion of someone with a penis? I'm not terribly bright but can tell if a school skirt fits my daughter without deferring to my husband.

Dh was already in the changing rooms. On a sofa just slightly out if view. Dd came out of her room and dh popped his head round. If he had been sat further down the sofa he wouldn't have even needed to move to see dd when she came out of the cubicle!

Pretty sure from that he didn't actually get up in the changing rooms - the ones which weren't designated female changing rooms and didn't have any women standing in the middle of the floor being fitted for bras.

I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to rude assistants, but even I'd have been embarrassed by that completely OTT dressing down by 2 members of staff in front of strangers.

Armi - what if it had been her DM? Would a vagina have made it more acceptable to you?

In a women's changing room, yes.

This wasn't a women's changing room.

Of course. I'd forgotten that M&S sites unisex changing facilities in the women's lingerie department. Silly me.

I know - aren't you just. Because what the OP actually said was Womens wear is on a different floor. It was by the children's clothes and uniform hence me taking her in there. There us a small lingerie section at the back

Who cares? It was clearly a facility used for bra fittings. The staff didn't want him in there.

No it wasn't - it was a generic changing room. No designated purpose, no-one trying on bras. Both him and his penis were as entitled to be there as a person with a vagina.

YABU. Couldn't you walk your child out to the front so your DH didn't have to look in? And the staff were doing their job. You sound very entitled.

Except to the staff it was designated.

YABU - why did you need your husband to tell you if a skirt fits your child?

Couldn't he just say he was identifying as a woman.

Not their place - they don't get to decide on a whim who can and can't stick their head round a changing room wall. Unless it's designated clearly then he can be where he wants to be - just as a woman can.

YABU. And rude by the sounds of it.

It is company policy and always has been.

It is 'enforced' as such to protect the women changing in the cubicles who don't want to walk out with nothing but with bra and pants on show (and they do this I've had women come out in nothing but their pants! } to ask the assistant to fetch another size, and then be faced with someones DH right outside their door admiring what his DW is trying on. It's mortifying for both parties

I worked in M&S and I saw this happen more than once with DH's who had a complete disregard for the rules "Who's going to stop me" etc.

Your DD should have come out to show her Dad.
Throwing your DD's skirt down and berating them was OTT.

clearly it was a women's space as it was in the women's and children's section

If those changing rooms were for the children and the lingerie department then I wouldn't expect to find a man in there

FFS this is the 21st century; sometimes men take their children to buy clothes.

Do you really expect them to take their children out of the children's section to try on clothes? Because men don't belong in the children's section?