Or is DP over 'mates rates' for decorating?

[GillBear]

Moving into a house that needs a fair bit of work in a weeks time and also expecting a baby in 2 weeks.

I would normally do the decorating myself but think I'll be out of action for a while!

DP's brother is a painter & decorator. He lives up north and work is pretty thin on the ground so he struggles.

We live in the south west and have had him and his assistant down to help us paint in the past. He stays with us (we feed him) and charges £130 a day not including materials for himself, then that again for his assistant.

He's said he can come down and help with the new house but he wants more money as the week would include a Sunday and bank holiday, so £300 a day for the two of them not including materials. We'd also pay for their diesel.

DP says it's fair enough, even though they only charge £80 a day each up North. He says his brothers doing us a favour, but I think it works both ways as we're giving him work he desperately needs. DP says this is a horrible attitude and I'm taking advantage of his brother by not paying what he asks for.

Am I being a hormonal cowbag?

It's my deposit and my name on the mortgage, DP pays towards the bills/mortgage every month.

DP is a builder and does the work on the house which I pay him for.

It works out well. We've only been together a couple of years and in the future plan to get a house together with him in the mortgage.

Mates rates? Why would you pay a mate so much more than his usual rate? I'd charge him "mates rates" for a B & B and it might balance it up a bit.

My dp is a trades person, his family deal is cost for the parts and £50 labour just to cover wages, rent, small sundries etc. He loses money on it, but it goes towards it.

It sounds like your being charged full wack and some, surprised he's not charging you travelling time?! certainly get a quote elsewhere as 'his brother must not really want to do the long journey'

Your house, your money, your choice. Get some quotes and pick the cheapest.

If you get quotes locally and use some local people, you'll have contacts who might be useful for future work. It's a lot easier/quicker than getting somebody down from miles away.

Central London incl. congestion charge

1950 for 9.5 days work including all materials.

He did a great job.

DP is a builder and does the work on the house which I pay him for.

You PAY him to work on your joint home?!?!?

Its your house, (which is good as you are apparently not married & this is the only way to be IMHO in your circumstances.)
Get some local quotes, & if its cheaper you go with the local & tell you P's brother you're sorry, but its too expensive. He may then wind his neck in.
I think he should get his daily rate, plus travel cost plus food.
he needs the work, & is staying with family so its not like he is off on some job in rank b&b. If your P wants to carry the cost of subsidising his brother let him pay it.
& I would tell him how you are feeling NOW, don't bottle up what you feel, it will not help in the long run if you feel you are being manipulated against your better sense.

I would get local quotes and use one of those decorators if they are cheaper, taking into account the cost of food and travel. It's annoying when someone acts as if they are doing you a favour when really you are the one doing them a favour.

Why do you pay your dp and why does he accept money for a job that is essentially his own house?

This has potential disaster written all over it!

Can't believe you actually PAY your DP to work on the house where presumably he also lives! Both brothers seem to be ripping you off.

DP and I fell out massively about it this morning.

I just feel his loyalty lies with his brother (who's actually his half brother who he's never been close to let alone sees) even though I'm
Expecting his child in two weeks.

I suppose I see it as I'm doing his brother a favour by giving him the extra work he needs. DP thinks I'm taking advantage of his brother needing extra work by trying to pay him less for working away from home on a Sunday/bank holiday.

I pay him because it adds value to the house, so I see a profit.

I can't expect him to take a month off work to work on my project, unpaid, that will make me money, iyswim.

Well get a local chap that doesn't have to work the w/e ......sorted.

I too don't see why you are paying your P to work on your house......
he should live there free in exchange for his time, therefore the mortgage & house is yours when you split up !

'It's my deposit and my name on the mortgage, DP pays towards the bills/mortgage every month.

DP is a builder and does the work on the house which I pay him for.

It works out well. We've only been together a couple of years and in the future plan to get a house together with him in the mortgage.'

Hahaha! He saw you coming! He pays towards that mortgage and when/if you split, he can make a claim on it despite not having paid the deposit. You pay him to work on the house he lives in and he bullies you into being ripped off by his brother. The mind boggles! You need to stop his, and his family's, taking advantage of you. See a solicitor, too, to protect your home and whatever you do, do NOT jack in FT work to become a SAHP with an unmarried partner, especially one like this.

We paid roughly £150 per day and we're in the South East! Materials on top but no diesel, lodging or food.....

I would get a quote from a local decorator. I thought tradesmen were much cheaper in the South West.

Sorry, this would annoy me.

That would be a high rate here without bed and board. get some estimates, I think you are being ripped off, frankly.

But you're a couple, if the plan is to buy a house together in the future it won't be making just you money, he benefits from it as well. The only person taking advantage here is your DP.

'I suppose I see it as I'm doing his brother a favour by giving him the extra work he needs. DP thinks I'm taking advantage of his brother needing extra work by trying to pay him less for working away from home on a Sunday/bank holiday.'

You are! You can easily hire someone local who doesn't need lodging over a bank holiday or weekend.

As long as when you eventually buy together (you're expecting his child, after all) you buy as tenants in common so that your higher contribution to the deposit is reflected.

His brother is completely taking the piss. £130 plus free lodgings and diesel was more than fair. Get someone local if he doesn't feel it's worth his time.

Soz op your being taken for a mug.
Get that shyster out your house.
Dump his ass. Bet your paying "mates rates" for his work too!
And I wouldn't employ his brother either.

The only way is to get a local quote. We pay between £100 and £200 per day depending on job/contract whejter materials are included or not.

It is your house. Get a couple of local guys to quote.
I'd get a good local guy in anyway - no hassle with having people to stay. (Food for two people costs a fortune!). No awkwardness with DP.

£300 + food + fuel really is taking the piss. I'd do it for that.

It's not really our business to judge OP's set up with her DP. They're not married and she owns the house, so if they both feel that this financial set up makes the arrangements clear then I think it's fair enough!

I also think £300 a day for 2 decorators sounds a lot, even without the diesel, food and lodging. And I would rather have someone in normal working hours rather than taking over a bank holiday weekend. If I was you I'd try to find someone local, so I think YANBU.