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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask her wtf?

146 replies

hhh333 · 14/08/2016 17:01

Just got back off a camping trip with a group of friends. Family A and Family B. The first day everyone was happy. Family A invited mutual friends up to stop for the night, great stuff as they're good friends and we don't see them often.
Wife A monopolised them a fair bit but we kind or expected that as she likes to be centre of attention. The next day she was beginning to get a bit frosty and said she wanted family time and could we all do our own thing. Not a problem with us or Family B. We all met up later on to go to the entertainment together. She spent the evening with a sour face complaining about everything and saying she'd rather be with her family playing rounders than sat with us. They left early, thank god.

The next morning she was barely making eye contact with us and invited her own friends up for the day. We left them to it but on the evening I asked her over for drinks at our tent. The answer was a firm no and by this point she couldn't even make eye contact with us. She'd blanked us all day.

The next day she invited her family up and spent the day with them, pretending we didn't exist whenever we walked past each other.

It was bonkers. I felt like I was back in secondary school with the way she was acting. Nothing had happened that we could thing of to spark it, she just decided to turn in to Queen Bitch.

We agreed with Family B to pretend it wasn't happening and get on with having fun together. She was gunning for a fight and we didn't want to give her it but now that we're back I'm furious. She did her very best to spoil our holiday over nothing.

Aibu to message her asking wtf?

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 15/08/2016 18:34

Peace. Book. Alone.

Zoo. Other people's toddlers. Noise.

I can see why she was so upset not to have been included.

Not.

I bet she wasn't at all bothered, but had to find something to explain herself to her DH. If it wasn't that it would have been something else.

If it were me I'd be avoiding her whenever possible, she sounds like a right bit of work.

ImperialBlether · 15/08/2016 18:39

She's going to be so annoyed that you've been reasonable!

The thing is that normal people wait for something to happen before they get in a bad mood. Others have the bad mood then have to look around for a reason for it. If you'd called for her she would have got the hump because she wanted time on her own. You couldn't have done anything right that day.

DinosaursRoar · 15/08/2016 18:52

Imperial speaks the truth - some people can't cope with just being a bit grumpy so have to find someone else to blame for what's going on in their own head

Now you've messaged, act like nothing has happened next time you see her. That'll annoy drama queen.

hhh333 · 15/08/2016 19:07

I know it was a bit soft to apologise but I can't help it, I'm not a nasty person. Plus I want to act like an adult alongside her childishness.

I don't have to see her often thankfully but I wanted to make sure I'd acknowledged the situation for next time I have to. She will do the same ignoring trick so I will be sure to go over and say a big hello. She'll hate it.

OP posts:
2kids2dogsnosense · 15/08/2016 19:07

She probably wouldn't have wanted to go to the zoo - she just wanted you to ask her so that she could tell you "Christ, no! Stuck with a pair of sticky whingers all day - and the kids are just as bad - hahahahaha, just kidding (not). But I don't think it's very nice of the two of you to even think of buggering off somewhere that I don't want to go. If you were -real- friends you'd stay here and let me boss you about while your littlies got increasingly bored and snidely. Because that's what friends do - cater to the biggest arschloch in the group . . ."

Whatever you did would have been the wrong thing - she was obviously spoiling for a fight because her authority had been challenged.

Lilaclily · 15/08/2016 19:15

God I don't think I'd want to see her again after that over reaction

Leeds2 · 15/08/2016 19:25

Make sure your respective husbands don't plan any more group camping trips!

hhh333 · 15/08/2016 19:25

I don't really want to but the husbands are all really good friends so no doubt we'll have to again.

Thanks again for all the advice. It's really helped Smile

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 15/08/2016 19:29

In that case, I would suggest that the men go by themselves. I really couldn't be doing with that sort of behaviour from a grown woman.

gillybeanz · 15/08/2016 19:39

I could have nothing to do with someone like this and I'm surprised your dh is not telling you to forget her and go with your own friends.
There is no reason why you should be friendly towards her.
It's your husbands that are friends, why are you bothering Confused

Hockeydude · 15/08/2016 19:40

What a bloody weirdo. Some people really thrive on confrontation and drama. It's best to pretend nothing's happened when you have to see these sort of twats.

Brighteyes27 · 15/08/2016 21:41

Alpaca picnics hit it the nail on the head. I had something similar with DH best mates psycho wife. It was fine as long as it was all her way and she was centre of attention. A few of us went camping together for the first time when they were away. We had a great time so we organised another trip and happily invited them along the more the merrier. She enjoyed it but wasn't top dog so the next trip she invited her sister and tribe who none of us really knew and her best mate and family again none of us really knew them. But we didn't mind. I think this was just So she was top dog and it was her way or the highway none of the husbands including her own wanted to rock the boat. End the friendship quietly. Don't do what I did. She and I had words in the school yard over something else and she hasn't spoken since the rest of the couples daren't speak to us incase she finds out and I am not joking. I am much happier as our camping weekends which started off as fun got harder and more stressful.

TheCraicDealer · 15/08/2016 23:39

Anyone else notice how so many of the "this happened to me" stories also involved camping? Julia Davis wrote a really good sitcom called (unbelievably) Camping which is about a group of three couples going on holiday together and it all going massively wrong.

Anyway, she'll be raging you've been reasonable. Bet it'll have taken the wind right out of her tent sails.

merrykate · 16/08/2016 00:07

Forget her. She doesn't deserve the attention.

KoalaDownUnder · 16/08/2016 02:32

Jesus wept. She sounds like a petulant toddler trapped in an adult body.

leannerosecooper · 16/08/2016 08:38

She just sounds like she didn't want to spend the time with family a and b and had no intention of going to the zoo with you. She's just pissed off that you both happily let her be. She expected you guys to be upset that she didn't want to spend time with you and basically beg her to hang out. But when you went to the zoo without consulting her you didn't give her the attention she wanted. I'm sure if you had asked if she wanted to go to the zoo she would have said no anyway.

HexBramble · 16/08/2016 11:41

Placemarking is so naff.

HexBramble · 16/08/2016 12:20

...and my timing is terrible Grin

Glad it's resolved OP, although she sounds the type to really dwell on this. You and B lady should just act as normal now. I'm betting this isn't the last of it though...

confuugled1 · 16/08/2016 14:13

I reckon wife A got her knickers in a twist because the extra mutual friends wanted to spend time with everyone rather than just her. Which meant that she couldn't brag or Lord it over you about HER friend as she's planned.

And then decided to just spiral it down from there...

And yes, seeing as your dh asked, I do think you're honour bound to let the rest of MN know because we're nosy so they don't make that mistake themselves Grin

hhh333 · 16/08/2016 15:56

I've already updated confuugled1

OP posts:
hhh333 · 16/08/2016 15:59

I've already updated confuugled1. She got her knickers in a twist because me and wife B went on an impromptu trip around the zoo with our toddlers and didn't ask her, even though she wasn't around at the time.

The mutual friends are a totally different thread. They were quite happy to be joined at the hip with her and left without saying goodbye to anyone but her. Very odd but not my problem.

OP posts:
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