Aibu to find this utterly infuriating??

[goddessoftheharvest]

Guest at Sunday lunch today. Over the course of the meal

"Oh I couldn't eat all of that... Just a little bit for me thanks. Oh no, that's far too much. Just half of that. Half of that. I wouldn't eat all those potatoes. Could I have that little corner of the meat, that very well done part? That will do for me. Sorry, could i swap my meat for that bit? It looks a bit better done. No, I'll not have any of that, I couldn't manage it. I'll just try a bit off X's plate. Apple pie for afters? I couldn't, I really couldn't. I'll try a tiny bowl I suppose. Just a spoonful"

At this point I thought fuck it, and gave her an actual tablespoon sized portion. She then proceeded to eat it and half of DDs!

I love this relative dearly, but by God she has a weird attitude to food. She isn't fussy and has no allergies, but it's as if enjoying food for what it is is unladylike or something, hence the massive parade over portion sizes etc

Basically you end up spending ages making a nicely cooked and presented meal, only for most of it to be taken up with this warbling on!

Aibu to think this is rude and annoying?

2kids, I think Mars Bars have got smaller in recent years. So maybe people remember them in the good old days.

FIL has funny issues with portion size - we can't eat out at pubs or restaurants with him if they generally give too-large portions (and in fairness, some of them are ridiculous portion-wise). His problem is I think a hangover from a childhood spent while rationing was still around - while he's by no means tight, he cannot bear food waste. He has to eat what's on his plate, because otherwise it's a waste, and so dislikes it intensely when too much is put on his plate. I humour all this because while he's nuts, he's also lovely.

2kids - I couldn't eat a whole mars bar, I'd feel sick!

I have a very healthy appetite for savoury stuff and can eat my body weight in cheese when so inclined, but don't have a sweet tooth at all. One chocolate from a box is enough; a box would last me weeks. Just different taste buds!

2kids2dogsnosense agree with you !!!

Omg my hugely over weight family member does this! Grrr!

YANBU but, in defence of older ladies, since I hit 50 my weight has gone through the roof!

I can see myself going down this route even though I swore I couldn't possibly, well maybe a little, really I must insist 😱

Ha ha did you invite my relative round?! She's actually gone a step further than all that "oooh I couldn't possibly eat all that" and "ooh gosh only half of that please" rubbish, to insisting she's hardly hungry at all and eating maybe one or two new potatoes at dinner (after we've chased my three under fives around since the crack of sparrows). Oh and she doesn't eat puddings at all (ahem). So she eats next to nothing of the meal DH and I have spent some time planning and preparing and then we find shop bought sandwich packets in the bin. Because she doesn't eat- honest

Glinda ahahaha, Jack Spratt and his wife! This describes my in laws perfectly

I'm in the later half of my 50s and my metabolism has slowed down a bit.

I now have semi-skimmed milk rather than full fat, am more careful re junk food, and aim not to eat anything after an evening meal. (I found I was getting horrible acid reflux if I went to bed with a full stomach.)

But I do aim not to be boring about it, and continue to enjoy food. Also eating decent meals seems an important way of staying healthy. All these stories about secret snacking are funny - but sad too.

This thread is like therapy. I've gone from pissing myself laughing to inwardly sobbing at how my DM wrecked my relationship with food.

I adore the bones of her but oh my God she does the "oh no I just don't eat that you see" (bread, potatoes), "a whole chop is too much for me" (lamb chop the size of a pencil), "I'm just having my tea, a cracker bread and half a fucking cherry tomato" KILL ME. When she cooks everything is cut up into tiny slivers a la bloody care home.

I feel sad when I look back to when we were kids - everything was "healthy", horrible brown bread that I hated the smell of with manky margarine, we never had butter, never had desserts, never had biscuits - everything nice was a special "treat" for when you were sad/poorly/upset/angry/celebrating, but it was BAD FOR YOU.I once reached for a rare biscuit in front of DSD and he said "You'll be as fat as a porker".

DM dieted all her life but was permanently overweight - always fasting, or not eating "sweets", then she started substituting my roast potatoes at Sunday lunch with half a jacket potato so I became part of the cycle. I wasn't a fat child, but I'm certainly a fat adult. Mum is now 80 and the fat has melted away, but she just picks at rice cakes and clutches the loose skin around her tiny midriff and worries she looks fat.

I'm reading these stories and feel sad for the generation after that have suffered eating disorders and such. I'm sorry you've had to go through that.

In my own life I don't think I really know anyone like this. Thank goodness! I love food, but know when I've had enough. I'm still overweight though, think my love of chocolate may have something to do with it.

Ugh, I'm so with you OP. Luckily family are pretty ok - although DH for some reason genuinely seems to believe if he has a big lunch he won't want dinner . Well, he might want a smaller dinner, or later than normal, but having lived together for 15 years I can confirm he will want it!

My friend is such a diet bore at tbe moment. She's lost a shed load doing slimming world, but she never ever cheats. Literally never. She has salad - just vegetables, no dressing or protein in it - and fruit for lunch. And claims she just couldn't eat anything else. After having a banana for breakfast. It's approaching eating disorder now, as she claims she's maintaining but 'doesn't know' why she's still losing. Well, it's because you're only eating 1000 calories a day it's not rocket science .

Somehow reading several pages of this thread drove me to a large hunk of bread and Marmite.

Reading this has made feel like chucking a Dr Oetker pizza in the oven for supper.

Just calmed down after over-empathising with the poster who was denied sticky toffee pudding at the wedding on page 2. I hope you grabbed the waiter and asked if there was a spare portion going!
DH's family are a bit 'just put mine on a side plate' and 'we had lunch so we won't want dinner', to be fair PiLs started this in earnest aged 60+ and both had digestive problems. DH sometimes repeats these sentiments but I just ignore him because he doesn't mean it.
My own family believed that you were judged by your ability to offer more than enough food to feed your guests, and that if there were no leftovers you hadn't put on enough. Probably why I feel so appalled by stories of guests not being fed properly. (though I would always ask for more rather than go hungry).

You realise we will ALL become like that eventually.

You never see people in elderly residential homes really tucking into their food.

To me, eating is one of the greatest pleasures there is. I hope I keep my appetite for as long as possible. I wonder if there's a way you can stop your appetite 'aging' too quickly

I think all the posters on this thread would be moved by/interested in this

Songbird-amazing. I tearful and angry and moved. Thank you for sharing.

I know Vienna I remembered it suddenly, something about the bit about the yoghurt and googled "poem my mother shrank" I think I first saw it on Upworthy - when she started I was like "oh this isn't as great as I remember" and then I ended up welling up by the end.

No YANBU, I wouldn't be so fussy eating at someone else's house when they've gone to the trouble of preparing a meal for me. Suspect, as others have said, it stems from society's weird attitude to women and food.

I have similar with PIL, although they don't criticise, just either don't eat or refuse food. It's impossible to cook for them. We suspect it comes from MIL's fairly recently diagnosed type II diabetes (which she has managed so well they've told her she's not diabetic any more) and FIL being supportive, so don't feel we can question it. Yet when we eat at their house (all pre-prepared, heated up food, they don't really cook, eat out a lot) they eat plenty. They also eat fine when we eat out, so it's hard not to think it's my cooking and baking they don't like. Once, after recent diabetes diagnosis, I baked a sugar-free lemon drizzle cake especially for MIL and she wouldn't try it, neither of them would! To be honest we usually meet them out for a meal, then they can choose what they want to eat, although this isn't easy for us, with a baby and very fussy-eater four year old!

I have a friend who's so like this! If she comes to ours , she can't even decide if she wants sugar in her coffee! Then when you give her one sugar, she goes ape-shit and complains about her waistline! Her partner ended up leaving her and going off with somebody else, all because she kept wittering on in this manner, it is so infuriating! YANBU :)

You never see people in elderly residential homes really tucking into their food.

Happy to report that my 95 year old father in law who lives in sheltered accommodation where there is a communal lunch has a good appetite.

Being physically frail he eats less than he used to but very definitely enjoys his food. Loves fish and also a good curry - which is something we do for him - as it's not on the menu where he lives. Will also ask for two helpings of pudding.

So there is hope for us all!

Year my 92 year old grandmother is also bucking that trend she loves a chocolate bar!