To think it's not just me who doesn't like being stared at while partially dressed?

[lifeofsiam]

Dh and I were in what is supposed to be an over-14's only sauna/spa bath area.

A boy who looked significantly younger (about 12) sat on the edge of the jacuzzi steps staring at us the entire time. His mother and elder sibling stayed in the steam room, leaving him outside.

In the changing rooms, I spoke politely to the mother, saying she may not have seen the sign saying it is over -14's only, and also her son had stared at us the entire time, making us feel uncomfortable.

She became angry with me, said the boy was almost 14 and autistic- which is why he was staring.

Ok, we weren't to know that, and she was clearly very stressed.

She then muttered 'there's always one.'

I asked 'always one what ?'

'Always one who is uncomfortable being stared at.'

I didn't respond- I didn't want to argue with or antagonise another mother with a disabled child - but afterwards I thought how it's not just me who would feel uncomfortable and a lot of people, especially women and teenage girls wouldn't feel comfortable in those circumstances, either? And that I'm not 'only one' in that case?

And I would hope Newspaper with autism would be more understanding if a child with autism stared at her

Someone can be understanding but that doesn't mean they'll be any less distressed.

Wow some people! I've never reported a post until now.

No it doesn't - but in feeling that distress they should hopefully have some acknowledgment of others distress.

Especially if they can then read it & participate in social media discussion.

Many with autism and lower functioning autism and other SN do not have that empathy or ability.

No it doesn't - but in feeling that distress they should hopefully have some acknowledgment of others distress.

Especially if they can then read it & participate in social media discussion.

Many with autism and lower functioning autism and other SN do not have that empathy or ability.

And I say this with one 'lower functioning' child &1 'higher functioning' child

Why because you disagree? And can't acknowledge other people's feelings and views?

Spotty I have never been as angry with a poster in my life. I do apologise that I'm disabled but able to read and write. My autism actually makes me obsessively focus about particular subjects and the English language happened to be one of them, if you were to meet me in the street (on the rare occasion I make it there with my carer) and say hello I would be severely distressed you absolutely cannot judge someone by spoken word.

You lost any credibility of trying to defend the SN child because you are now the most disablist person on this thread. In fact on any of the threads I have participated in.

For example, I have ASD and am very sensitive to sound.

There are certain noises which I can't cope with, especially loud ones (although any noise has the potential to hurt me, even innocuous ones like people talking quietly or vending machines). They don't just annoy me, they actually cause me physical pain and can lead to me having a meltdown or panic attack.

So if I was in the vicinity of someone else who has autism but their autism caused them to make loud noises or screech I might not be able to cope with that. It's not just annoying, it physically hurts.

I have empathy for the other person with autism and I know that can't help it however that doesn't mean that I'm any less stressed at the time.

I can be sympathetic towards the other person however if I end up having a melt down or a panic attack because it hurts so much then it's not going to magically be made better because I have empathy for the other person and know it's not their fault iyswim.

Tbh if someone's staring at me like that I would presume they might have SN

Me too. And I'm not particularly good at empathy but I think that might be my first thoughts too rather than he is being rude or ogling me.

I can't see how a child who looked about 12 staring could make an adult who was in the company of another adult feel 'uncomfortable'. It could be slightly annoying maybe but then if the op wasn't choosing to look at the child pretty regularly then she wouldn't have to be bothered by the staring

I agree. I'm finding it very difficult to empathise with this reaction.

Exactly !

One persons view does not trump others - I have vast experience but 1 person disagreeing means mine is irrelevant as is the mums in the op post?

I accept newspapers view may be different but I know my asd 24 yr old sons would mirror mine but my DD is not capable of understanding or realising why people stare.

It makes no ones views right or wrong - but because newspaper agreed with OP any opposing view is reported

You should know more than anyone by the looks of it that there isn't just "low" and "high" but all mediums in between and if you feel like it helps you judge my abilities any better, last time someone stared at me I smashed my head off the car in a severe meltdown. Clearly I'm very able to cope with that

Here's a shocker for you, i can't empathise at the time of an incident because you know.... Autism.

To say I am disabilist is highly offensive - how dare you! You know nothing.

Toads your example is exactly what u struggled to articulate well done

What I* sorry

You should know there are variations in all disabilities so to say there is no low or high is disabilist in itself - Shame on you

You were reported because you're trying to diagnose people's disabilities through a computer screen. People you've never met.
You have no right to tell someone they're not "disabled enough" to have a reaction to some thing.

And you are trying to ignore and reduce people's opinions and experience I disabilities on your personal views

Explain how I am disabilist?