To think it's not just me who doesn't like being stared at while partially dressed?

[lifeofsiam]

Dh and I were in what is supposed to be an over-14's only sauna/spa bath area.

A boy who looked significantly younger (about 12) sat on the edge of the jacuzzi steps staring at us the entire time. His mother and elder sibling stayed in the steam room, leaving him outside.

In the changing rooms, I spoke politely to the mother, saying she may not have seen the sign saying it is over -14's only, and also her son had stared at us the entire time, making us feel uncomfortable.

She became angry with me, said the boy was almost 14 and autistic- which is why he was staring.

Ok, we weren't to know that, and she was clearly very stressed.

She then muttered 'there's always one.'

I asked 'always one what ?'

'Always one who is uncomfortable being stared at.'

I didn't respond- I didn't want to argue with or antagonise another mother with a disabled child - but afterwards I thought how it's not just me who would feel uncomfortable and a lot of people, especially women and teenage girls wouldn't feel comfortable in those circumstances, either? And that I'm not 'only one' in that case?

toad oh I'm good Thankyou :) I'm a massive narcissist so negative comments about my SN just bounce right off me

Hope things improve for you :)

I think OP has the right to feel upset.

People with physical disabilities get stared at all the time, by children and adults. I like to think that most adults would at the very least tell their children to stop being rude and stop staring.

OP was being stared at and didn't like it. The boy had an invisible disability and the mother was goady, not OP. I don't know why OP would automatically assume invisible disability - teenage boys stare at women and girls particularly when in swimwear. I'm not sure I wouldn't get paranoid about it and maybe a little upset if anyone persisted in staring at me.

All of you saying no need for boy's mother to be 'snarky' don't realise these issues & people's comments are made every time you go out with a child with SN ... You get tired of explaining, tired of being questioned and tired of being stared at & judged.

My daughter is stared at every single time we go out - today by several grown adults to the point one nearly fell over a curb & I had to ask if there was a problem...

All of you who are so concerned at being stared at.., I hope you remember that when seeing someone who looks a bit 'different'.

Also (and this has been bugging me) if the OP and her DH were in a hot tub, they were in water up until their armpits probably.

The OP hasn't said she felt the boy was being pervy or the staring was remotely sexual (although other people have insinuated it). Just that he was staring.

I was thinking that it's the sort of thing DS might do if he was waiting a turn. He wouldn't want to get into the hot tub if there were other people in it so he may have been hoping they'd get out. Or, he was just staring :)

And what if the OP were to have SN of her own? If anyone started at me it would trigger an overload, in fact it happened yesterday. So pointing this out to the boys mum could actually save some other autistic people some distress. I don't see anything the OP has said as disablist and can understand why it's playing on her mind because the mum made her feel unreasonable even though she wasn't

*stared at

Navy you have spent the entire thread banging on about how the OP should have apologised after she knew the child had autism.

Yet you goaded a poster about her disability and when she pointed it out you had a go at her.

How about practising what you preach and apologising?

So now you know navy why don't you apologise?

But now you do know.

Just like the OP knew after she'd approached the mum.

And I was reading the thread and couldn't quite believe your hypocrisy and treatment of Giraffe.

Wow.

Or .... Sorry for being an asshat?

No need to apologise giraffe
Not your fault that other people are dickheads.