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Original poster

Away from home and partner gone missing, help

620 replies

Discopanda · 14/08/2016 04:25

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

OP posts:
3weeksthankgod · 14/08/2016 19:59

I am wondering how a credit card was used in a shop to buy £600 worth of goods on a Sunday morning.

ScarletOverkill · 14/08/2016 19:59

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ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 14/08/2016 20:03

I'm sure OP is just glad he's alive and home; will do further questioning/berating in her own time, as she sees fit, and will post with requests for additional advice/ support if needed. Further speculation is no longer needed!

LaurieFairyCake · 14/08/2016 20:04

You went on holiday as a family and he went out on his own after you both came back ? Shock

That's bloody awful

Nofunkingworriesmate · 14/08/2016 20:06

Never been happier to be wrong, apologies to babysitter and you both for thinking he was shagging her.
Glad the police were able to bring him back to you. card fraud is so easily to trace with cctv everywhere, ( I easily proved I wasn't the person using my card , and they were caught and are now doing time ) ... but what shop was open so early on a Sunday morning that the fraudsters could spend £600 in ?
Fwiw if my OH did this they would be walking home ( to sleep on his friends sofa)
Best of luck x

chocoLit · 14/08/2016 20:10

There are some shops open 24hrs no? Tesco/Asda? Or is this some weirdy English Sunday opening times thing that we don't have up here in Scotland?

Glad he's safe discopanda

FaithAscending · 14/08/2016 20:12

They could have been making online purchases?

ReginaBlitz · 14/08/2016 20:14

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ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 14/08/2016 20:15

Glad it's sorted OP.

midcenturymodern · 14/08/2016 20:15

There are some shops open 24hrs no? Tesco/Asda? Or is this some weirdy English Sunday opening times thing that we don't have up here in Scotland?

We do indeed have weird English Sunday opening. It's based on the sq footage of the shop so the big supermarkets will open 10-4, clothes shops etc open 11-5 and little shops can do what they like but they would generally not be the sort of shop that opened 24/7 anyway. Our little Co-op opens at 8am on a Sunday morning but you'd be going some to spend £600.

chocoLit · 14/08/2016 20:18

Aha! That knackers that then, I had images of them trying to pic up a laptop/ HDTV and lawnmower Grin

LIZS · 14/08/2016 20:19

Police would not be bothered by attempted purchases, and would be unlikely to flag them up and try to Id potential perpetrators that soon. Once the card is reported missing to bank , their fraud department deal with it. How were you able to at the hotel bill with no cards?

Waltermittythesequel · 14/08/2016 20:24

Sounds dodgy. And even if it wasn't, that's a pretty dickish move.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 14/08/2016 20:26

Op wrote "in a shop"
How did they get £300 out of his account without his pin ??

Floggingmolly · 14/08/2016 20:26

Who told you there was an attempt to spend £600? And the bank are refunding the cash?? When did they say that?? There's absolutely no proof he didn't spend that himself before the robbery. Confused
I thought you could only attribute to fraud any transactions that occurred after the theft was reported? And yet the bank immediately said they'd return it to his account on a Sunday morning
He's still trying to pull a snow job on you...

Original poster
Discopanda · 14/08/2016 20:27

He reckons they had been watching him, they started talking to him and asking for directions and then he noticed his cards had been taken after and "started making a scene" so police carted him off. I was going to report him missing in the morning but he turned up just after 8.30. I've looked on his online banking and there are withdrawals which the bank are refunding. I reckon he was getting violent because there's no way police would take him away just for shouting.

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 14/08/2016 20:30

So all you're basing this on is that the online account shows withdrawals? You do realise that he could have withdrawn the money?

OnionKnight · 14/08/2016 20:32

Also, why haven't you asked him why he was arrested rather than assuming it was because he got violent?

Floggingmolly · 14/08/2016 20:33

Why do you imagine the bank are refunding? He has no proof he didn't withdraw it himself. It's really not that easy...

FaithAscending · 14/08/2016 20:34

Ah so she did.

Floggingmolly · 14/08/2016 20:35

And what sort of behaviour when he realised his cards had gone would have led to the police coming to arrest him?? He wasn't fighting with the robbers, presumably, as they'd already gone.
Did he run amok in the street? Hmm

winefairyagain · 14/08/2016 20:36

Doubting very much he went back and shagged the babysitter.

But he did go to the cashline to pay her for her time, after having presumably a lovely evening out with the mother of his kids, on their holiday and decided he wanted more drinks, leaving OP to look after their two young daughters, worried sick.

I'm not convinced his story adds up. I'd be wanting to know how his card and PIN were so easily compromised. I'm guessing he was somewhere he shouldn't be and was in enough of a drunken state to be an easy target

beccabanana · 14/08/2016 20:36

How would they know the pin to make cash withdrawals? Online purchases fair enough, but cash withdrawals? I'd be more inclined to think he withdrew the cash, went on a bender, got himself arrested for drunk and disorderly and then made up a story about his cards being stolen to cover his ass. The hassle of cancelling cards would be less than justifying why a married man with responsibilities would dream of just fucking off for a few drinks without telling you!

6demandingchildren · 14/08/2016 20:36

So pleased he is back and in one piece (till you get him home)
He must of been in a state especially if he doesn't normally drink, but unfortunately the the theives obviously picked him out as vulnerable and by asking for directions they would know he wasn't local so it makes him more of a target.
My son was attacked in brighton a few months ago and in the early hours it's no longer a safe place.
Hope you get some decent sleep tonight xx

WeekendAway · 14/08/2016 20:40

Hmm. Is it possible he picked up a prostitute, she took him to an ATM to withdraw money, an accomplice followed, they saw him enter his PIN and forced him to withdraw more and ran off with it, or his wallet as stolen from by a prostitute while he was.... erm.....suitably distracted?

Because it all sounds a bit implausible and full of holes the way he's telling it.

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