To be angry that MIL may have indoctrinated my child?

[FruitCider]

I've been away for just under a week volunteering abroad and got home this morning. My mother in law (reverend) has been to stay with my partner whilst I went away. I'm completely atheist, partner is agnostic. MIL tried to give me a nativity set at Christmas for DD and a book full of bible stories, I declined and said I didn't want my daughter exposed to religion by people with a bias to a particular religion until she was 7/8.

I've come home today and my 3.5yo DD is continuously talking about Jesus, how God made the planet and told me I should thank god that my journey was safe. My partner says MIL had not mentioned religion when he was at home but he had to leave DD with MIL on Tuesday and Thursday whilst he went to work.

I'm absolutely RAGING! AIBU to be this angry? I literally want to banish MIL from my house and tell her she is not allowed contact with my DD for the foreseeable future.

Also is my DD likely to forget about God as she grows up if it's not mentioned again? Or is she now indoctrinated forever?

Sorry to those who may find this post offensive, I just wanted my DD to make her own mind up when she was old enough to understand that religion is a belief and there is no firm evidence for a God. She could have decided herself to be a Christian and I would have accepted that.

"Indoctrinated for ever"

"My husband is agnostic"

Give that your DH was raised by MIL, think hard about these two statements.

All that is required is a quick, polite phone call

She'll be indoctrinated when she goes to school anyway !!!

No-one knows that the MIL tried to indoctrinate at all. You'd expect a reverend to give thanks in her way for a safe flight of her DIL, you'd expect them to answer questions of a 3.5 in the context of her vocation. And you'd hopefully expect a child to listen and explore the ideas they hear, learning stuff is what they do.

A few days*

Yes. Christmas traditionally was not a Christian event though

Christmas IS traditionally a RELIGIOUS event, it was just adopted by one religion from another/others

are you athiest OP or just anti Christian! Christmas was never a secular event!

How do you present Santa?

what will you say when she comes home saying she was picked to be an angel in the nativity at nursery or school? Will she be banned from taking part until she's 7?

Oops!

... A polite quick call to Mil thanking her for the childcare but reminding her that you don't want DD raised as Christian.

You sound unhinged. YABU

the bringing of a tree indoors is actually a pagan tradition

Being an athiest, I'm no more Pagan than I am Christian.

I don't really recognise your definitons of atheism TBH OP

She provided two days free childcare for you. Simple answer if you're that enraged, never leave your DD alone with her again. But you won't do that will you?

If u hate religions so much y are u exposing ur dd to Christmas ?

use it as a learning experience. Tell her some people believe in that but others don't. You don't, granny does and she can make her own mind up.

YABU.

If u hate religions so much y are u exposing ur dd to Christmas

Sounds like she reins in the Christian elements, while embrassing the elements from OTHER religions, and is calling that atheism!

you don't need to be Christian to celebrate xmas, after all it's about materialism rather then jesus these days.

I wonder if the MIL was a pagan minister, would the OP be so against her describing her lifestyle/beliefs to the child?

YANBU.

MIL knew you didn't want her to do it, and she did it anyway.

I'd tell her in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't be welcome in your home for quite some time until (a) she apologized, and (b) committed to never doing it again.

So which bits of Christmas are aethiest OP?

I'm an atheist but I do Christmas with my DS. I'm aware that it's a bit hypocritical, but he likes it and he knows it's a story. No point in pretending that the Christian bit is not part of Christmas.

But then, I don't rage if anyone mentions Jesus to him....

MIL knew you didn't want her to do it, and she did it anyway.

what did she do? we don't know what happened, whether the child over heard the MIL wish a friend a safe journey in her own religious was on the phone or what?

We don't know that the MIL actually preeched to the child or whether, as with a lot of religious people, god has formed many of her figures of speech ec

I have a religious family. I am atheist. I have children.

We get loads of religious stuff from family and the believers take every opportunity to tell DC "the truth", i.e all about Jesus and Mary and the little donkey and God is great etc. They truly believe it will "save" my DC.

We talk about religions a lot, pros and cons (now and historically), why people might believe (or not) and why they choose a particular religion.

I have no concerns about indoctrination.

It amuses me greatly to see them humouring the more fervent and asking slightly cheekily pointed questions. It's great.

If you tell MIL off, it won't help. She's a reverend, she is a true believer, she probably believes your DC will be condemned to hellfire, so let her say what she needs to say for her own conscience but make sure your DC are given a critical view at home.

you don't need to be Christian to celebrate xmas, after all it's about materialism rather then jesus these days

course you can, we celebrate it as a family tradition/part of our culture/heritage. We have trees and nativity play and santa, all presented as chrismas stories / traditions and not as a belief system or fact.

I'm afraid that's it OP, your DD will forever be a Christian. You will never have any influence in her life again.

Dione I expect she will become a nun

YABU but maybe there's a good reason for it.
I wouldn't stop her from seeing your child, who'll look after her next time you go away?
All 3 of ours came home talking about nativities they saw it on tv, adverts in the street, in shops, from school etc.
They talked about God and asked to go to Sunday School with friends.
They had given up by the time they started Secondary and was of their own choosing.
It also sounds like you don't like mil and trying to find ways to get rid tbh.
You are so angry but don't have the answers as to why and you have no idea of the outcome yet?