To start a FIFTH thread that no-one responds to?

[VanillaSugar]

Well, we're back by popular demand. Or not, as the title suggests. It's been incredible that four threads have reached a thousand posts where nobody, no one and no one at all posted anything. At all.

So, continue the party. Join the party and gatecrash the party. Let's see if we can reach five thousand posts of whiffle, piffle and pictures of Aidan Turner.

🙋🙌👍👐🎂🎉🎊🐰🐸🍸🍺🍻🍷🍹☕🍵🍦🍰🌞🌝

It has to be visible to the naked eye, Average.

AGL a portion of fruit and veg is a large handfull. Therefore you didn't get even one of your 5 a day which should be 7 plus but the government thinks that frighten people of trying

Tut tut. TOAD hurry up, your DS needs reprimanding about his lack of fruit and veg.

Does it really, Better??

I had all five portions yesterday though

better. I loved the Greggs article. I do sometimes wish I had a penis. I would never be bored.

2l A DAY???????

🐸💩

I haven't had a 'portion' for six months....

Jess you can get caffeine free coke!?! how have I never heard of that.

Disclaimer i am talking about the coca cola variety not drug variety before this becomes the next garlic/crystal meth thing

Jess Having a penis isn't that great. Trust me.

ruby . Yes, I like because the cans are gold!

Life could be a lot more painful though, Jess. . You hear such horrible stories about vacuum cleaners too.

Worst bit is getting random persistent boners in situations where standing up is required very soon (e.g school assembly)

vanilla why the shock? 2l is rationing it! It used to be 3-3.5l a day.

Also I'm loving the use of toad and shit emojis side by side. It must be one hell of a big one though to keep her MIA for so long

If I had a penis, I would tend it constantly, nurture it and occasionally put it in baked goods.

Vacuum cleaners?????

Oh, don't worry - she'll be back in a minute with fifty memes to illustrate every reference in the last three pages.

AGL* did you really have 5 portions yesterday?

Jess how have you not had even one portion of fruit and veg in six months??? how do you poo?

As in getting stuck in the tube, Average? Actually happens with alarming regularity. You probably don't want to dwell on it.

Actually jess don't answer that last bit

ruby. Weetabix. Revolting stuff but my DS has a 'thing' about me eating the same as him at breakfast. I'd much rather have a Pop Tart.

Stewed prunes is what you need.

If I had a penis, I would tend it constantly

I think that might be too much masturbation (am I spelling it wrong or does my phone just think its too dirty - it keeps changing it to Master nation)

ruby for some reason, Master Nation has got that bloody Four Non-Blondes song going round in my head. I'm off to You Tube. Back in a mo.

Stay off other threads, Jess - you'll just get upset.