Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think that when you're using play equipment in the park it's rude for parents to stand next to you waiting for you to finish

558 replies

Qedwai · 13/08/2016 00:04

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who hates this or if I'm being unreasonable.

When I'm in the park with my Sons and we want to go on something we play on something else until it's free and then quickly go on it once it becomes available. We don't stand right next to the parent and child waiting for them to get off! If we know something is really popular we will only stay on 5 mins so that everyone gets a chance to play.

One thing I've noticed consistently, is that there are a small number of parents who will stand right next to you with their child, literally waiting for you to get off the equipment. In the process, making you feel rushed and uncomfortable. Especially if they make a big deal of the fact they are waiting by saying stuff like 'won't be long now and you can go on once this boy has got off'.

Today I was in a large, fairly busy park and I put my Son in the swing. I had only just put him in when a woman went right behind me and said to her daughter 'we will go on once this boy has finished' she then proceeded to stand still, right next to me, with a grumpy face until we took our Son out of the swing'.

It's something I would never ever do. I think it's rude and unnecessary. Standing nearby is different but right next to the person is rude.

If a park is so busy it's necessary to queue for things I suppose that's different, but i'm not talking about parks like that. Just normal parks.

I know I probably am being a bit unreasonable but it's happened a few times now, and it's really getting on my nerves.

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 13/08/2016 03:32

I'm kind of with you OP. I don't really find it rude exactly, but I do think it's a somewhat poor way to use a playground. It doesn't really teach kids anything they want to learn. As soon as parents aren't involved they stop the queuing for swings in most playgrounds!

Queuing for true turns on something that's a one go ride like down a slide or on a zip line, somewhat continues. But kids know better than to try and set arbitrary time limits on a swing go.

I think kids are better off learning to look for other things to occupy themselves than standing in line and trying to pressure people.

meck · 13/08/2016 04:28

It's not rude to wait is it, and only logical in a moderately busy park. I can't say it ever bothered me. Horrible places though, play parks Grin

Only1scoop · 13/08/2016 05:23

Yanbu Op

I find it annoying too

puglife15 · 13/08/2016 05:40

Yummy mummies? Clapham Common?

The Naughties called - it wants its lazy stereotypes back

KanyePest · 13/08/2016 05:55

Some of these replies are weird. The situation you've described described has never happened to me, OP, but I'd be a bit freaked out if it did. I like my personal space. Grin If somebody dared make a grumpy face at me I'd make one right back.

YANBU

MistressMerryWeather · 13/08/2016 06:08

I'm not sure why you are quoting me puglife?

I was pulling Mycraneisfixed up on her nasty, wannabe upper-middle-class, social climber language.

myownperson · 13/08/2016 06:10

Oh dear. If no one is waiting beside us I let my DC stay on the swings as long as they like. I would assume no one else wanted a turn. We've been hogging the swings haven't we? Blush

Aeroflotgirl · 13/08/2016 06:12

Yanbu at all, it would make me uncomfortable. 5 min is fine!

puglife15 · 13/08/2016 06:13

I know Mistress, you just helpfully paraphrased it for me!

Oblomov16 · 13/08/2016 06:17

OP doesn't seem to get the British thing of time politeness.
Ie if you normally play on the swing for 10 minutes when nobody else there, then if busy 5 minutes, if loads of people maybe 4 minutes or even 3, just so that everyone gets a turn.

The other parents stand so close to you, because they consider you a 'hogger', who hogs the equipment and doesn't realise that you now need to get your child off after they've had only a short go.

ArriettyMatilda · 13/08/2016 06:23

YABU. I do kind of get why the parent and child standing too close would be annoying. But when my dd wants to go on the swings (it is usually the swings) we do queue and I probably would say things like we need to wait for them to be finished before you have a turn. I wouldn't be putting my own time scale on it, I'd be wanting dd to learn patience. Bare in mind my dd is only two, I'm sure I won't be waiting with her when she is five!

UnexpectedBaggage · 13/08/2016 06:30

YANBU. Waiting to one side is fine. Getting into your personal space is bad manners. Didn't happen to me but if it had I would have stayed longer than I intended.

DeathStare · 13/08/2016 06:35

I know what you mean OP.

You know what I hate? When I'm using a checkout in a supermarket and people come and stand behind me waiting for it. They put their groceries on the conveyor belt right next to mine and wait there with this look on their faces saying stuff to their kids like "We're going to use this till after this lady has finished".

There's really no need for it. Why can't they just distract their kids with going back up one of the supermarket aisles until the checkout is free and then make a dash for it? It's so rude.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/08/2016 06:41

It's a minor irritation. I don't think there is any other way of waiting for a swing than standing beside an occupied one and waiting.

I agree, loud pointed comments designed to intimidate you off would be annoying. Why don't you acknowledge the parent waiting, "Johnny will get off after 5 more swings" rather than silently seething? Smile

tofutti · 13/08/2016 06:47

Can't believe the number of people (deliberately?) musunderstanding the OP. It's clear he means people who get too close.

YANBU, I would feel rushed and uncomfortable too. I feel the same when people are right up to me back when I'm in a queue. It's like they think the queue will go move faster that way Grin

Wellywife · 13/08/2016 06:47

Another potential hogger here too!

Unless someone comes up to queue I'd assume they're happy playing on whatever they're on at the moment. I'm not able to read minds and guess that they really want what we're using. So I'd let DNiece stay on the swings all day unless someone else started to queue.

finova · 13/08/2016 06:48

YANBU
I reply 'he's only just got on so we'll be a good few minutes' if he has only just got on.
Otherwise I ignore.

I know exactly what you are talking about, there's a big difference between waiting a little way away and regularly glancing over or sting on something else and sprinting over when it's free AND standing in your space, making you feel rushed and ruining your own child's enjoyment.

If a child is much younger eg 18 months vs my 3 year old and is about to have a tantrum, I'll sometimes move my child who has a very even temperament but that is just to be kind.

I think people who do the passive aggressive 'waiting' are doing the opposite of teaching their child to queue, they are teaching a sense of entitlement.
That said, I don't experienced this very often, literally every couple of months.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2016 06:51

I do this because Dd is disabled and slow and while she makes her way over to a swing able bodied kids run past her and get on.

Would be nice if people taught their kids not to do this if they see someone obviously slow moving...it happens all the time.

DeathStare · 13/08/2016 06:52

Also.... it's a swing! How close can they physically stand? If they aren't standing so close they get hit then they aren't too close. And if they are close enough to get hit.... problem solved!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/08/2016 06:52

I don't make comments just wait.

Just wanted to air that bugbear tbh.

davos · 13/08/2016 06:57

I think Yabu. Queuing and telling their kids they have to wait their turn is fine. It's not passive aggressive. It's teaching their kids that if you want down thing someone else has, you need to wait your turn.

Imaginosity · 13/08/2016 07:00

I agree OP

AnneElliott · 13/08/2016 07:03

I don't think YABU OP. I hate people encroaching on my personal space and would probably take longer just to annoy them! Like when people driver right behind you to get you to drive faster. I go slower and slower until they back off.

marshamella · 13/08/2016 07:04

Yanbu I completely agree it ruins the fun and makes me personally feel uncomfortable. If it's busy I would tell my child that other children would like a go and they will find something else to play on. This really annoys me actually so glad you brought it up op

PandasRock · 13/08/2016 07:07

OP said 'put my son in the swing' so I'm assuming a toddler swing, therefore under 3.

It's no wonder that any parents waiting with their children keep repeating the 'we'll go on in a minute when this boy has finished' message - toddlers have the attention span of a goldfish, and often need the message repeating frequently.
Mira not passive aggressive, it's Demi ding their child why they aren't having a turn.

I think I am often thought of as a Loud Parent, but I really couldn't give a stuff. My 3 dc all have autism, and so I have had many many years of Loudly Parenting (actually just explaining what is happening, so as to avoid meltdowns).

A couple of days ago, we were at a busy tourist attraction. It has a lot of playground type activities in and around the lunch/picnic area, and for the most part it was a free for all as parents sat down and children ran amok.

At one point my dc wanted to go on he trampolines (set up like at the seaside - lots of trampoline beds within one enclosure) so we went over. They took their shoes off and waited. And waited. And waited. Not one child thought to come off. Two of them thought it was funny to pretend to come off, then change their minds and go back to their trampoline. Repeatedly. My son was at the front of my 3 waiting - he is 4, and couldn't understand why the boys were teasing him in this way (he fell for it each time).

Eventually another child was called off, from a distance, and so my three then took turns on this one trampoline bed (out of 8), and very quick turns they were too as a queue was building up, and none of the unsupervised children were going to budge.

That's what happens if parents don't wait nearby. Another poster said that once parents aren't involved all the queuing stops as children sort it out themselves - no, sadly impolite children hog whatever they want, and ignore other children waiting. Not really something to be desired.

(I earned my Loud Parenting badge by the trampolines by telling the two boys to stop teasing the little ones. I got death stares and mutters off them, but I couldn't care less. They did stop the teasing though)