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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to be hurt by their behaviour?

140 replies

Doublemint · 11/08/2016 16:27

braces self for Aibu post

Earlier in the week MIL mentioned she was going to SIL house this afternoon. (I don't know if it matters but she's SIL through marriage, not MILs DD)She suggested me, DH, DD1 (2yrs) and DD2 (7m) come along too. DH phoned SIL to see if that was ok as she has a month old baby and we really want to make sure she's up for visitors/didn't want to invite ourselves over/ overwhelm her etc. We made this clear on the phone.

SIL said her and MIL were planning on going for lunch at a garden centre about 10mins from us, 45mins from MIL and 20/30mins from SIL. SIL said she was thinking of that garden centre because it had a park for dd1 to play in. So in my mind they had invited us and wanted us there.

DH and I accepted and then explained hat as we are totally and utterly skint right now we couldn't afford lunch but could meet them there after they had eaten for a bumble around with the kids. SIL said that sounded great and to call MIL and let her know.

So we do and MIL says to come to garden centre at 2pm. So today we get the kids up, dd1 is all excited to see her aunty and granny and her new baby cousin, she was practically bursting! Because babies are mental a challenge we ended up being half an hour late (dd2 woke up late and needed her lunch then dd1 did a poo on the floor).

We get there and ring them to see where they are and.... They had left! Gone!

Dd1 is really upset and I was fuming. They popped back as they'd only just gone but we had text from the car saying we were running late and would be another 10mins.

I was so angry that this was all their idea and then they go and leave! Apparently SIL had to leave by 3pm but she didn't tell us this!!!

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting because of how upset dd1 was or whether this was bad manners on their part.
????

OP posts:

laidbackneko · 11/08/2016 19:13

It's still not clear though whether SIL actually changed her plans (having originally needed to be somewhere else) to go back to the car park because op's dd was crying.

Evergreen17 · 11/08/2016 19:20

So you were supposed to be there at 2 and baby just woke up at 1:45???
If it is 13:00 and baby still asleep I would be calling then.

40 minutes late you were that is very rude sorry OP. You didnt mean to but your fault

Evergreen17 · 11/08/2016 19:21

You said you texted at 2:29 to say you needed 10 more mins as stuck in traffic so no way you got there at 2:30

veryproudvolleyballmum · 11/08/2016 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headinthecloud · 11/08/2016 19:31

Yabu to be late. I'd have gone too regardless of kids and prior arrangements

ihatethecold · 11/08/2016 19:35

It's all made up. The story has so many holes in it!

AyeAmarok · 11/08/2016 19:36

Glad you have realised you were very rude and are being completely unreasonable to be annoyed with them!

I do love it when people want other people to abide by rules but think none should apply to them.

Sellingyesterdaysnews · 11/08/2016 19:43

They met for lunch, not a whole afternoon in the garden centre, you turn up not only after lunch but after after lunch.
Seriously what can you do in a garden centre all day..it's a shop!!!!!

Lemonlady22 · 11/08/2016 19:59

you invited yourselves to a garden centre lunch date, to not have any lunch, but to use the facilities and you were late .....you sound very entitled, like everyone should side with you.....you just dont get it.....you are rude....and i expect this isnt the first time and thats why they left because they are fed up with your attitude....sorry if this sounds harsh but i think being harsh is what you need to realise how rude you are....not eveyones lives revolves around YOU and your children!

HyunaRiddle · 11/08/2016 20:12

OP, you're getting a bit of a beating here. It was rude that they left without a single word or text when you'd been communicating from your side, however the whole thing wouldn't have happened if you had been on time, you've acknowledged that and apologised to them, so I don't see why everyone is still cyber scolding you.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 11/08/2016 20:16

What would happen if you have a sleeping baby when it is school pick up time for your older child (or any other pick up)? You really really can definitely wake a baby. It's OK. They do not combust. Using it as an "reason" for lateness makes you seem odd.

fastdaytears · 11/08/2016 20:21

Ok ok how about the fact they expected us to turn up just for an hour and nobody even thought to let us know?

How much time did you want to spend at a garden centre? Particularly given you don't want to spend money.
An hour would really be pushing it I'd say, unless you weirdly love garden centres.

mirime · 11/08/2016 20:54

kierenthecommunity - my ds would not have stayed asleep while being moved into (or out of) his car seat at 7 months. It was really annoying.

Only1scoop · 11/08/2016 20:59

I don't blame them for not hanging around if you were half an hour late....you weren't joining them for lunch after all

Glitterpegs · 11/08/2016 21:06

So today we get the kids up, dd1 is all excited to see her aunty and granny and her new baby cousin, she was practically bursting! Because babies are mental a challenge we ended up being half an hour late (dd2 woke up late and needed her lunch then dd1 did a poo on the floor)

So you woke dd2 at 1.45 gave her lunch and cleared up dd1 poo on the floor and managed to get in the car at 2pm?

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