Babies aren't expensive

[ImYourMama]

Hi all, I'm hoping you can help. I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm 22 weeks pregnant with first baby. So far myself and DH have bought everything we can think of she'll need, in the summer sales. We've not paid full price for anything! But I'm worries about costs when she's here.

Everyone says it's so expensive having a baby, but I can't work out what will change aside from buying nappies/wipes and possibly formula if breast feeding isn't successful. We can just about manage on maternity pay and DH's wage if these are the main expenses, but am I missing something? I always thought babies were as expensive as you wanted them to be?

Is it more when they get older?

Please help, I want to be financially ready and I feel like I'm missing something obvious

When they were babies, the main cost was childcare. Primary school, there was still breakfast and holiday clubs, school uniform etc, but infants was okay...

Then juniors, and the hobbies started. Obviously encouraged by me, as they get a huge amount from them, but I think I'm spending around £5k a year at the moment.

Secondary school, still paying for hobbies, nothing on childcare, but the food! And the clothes! And the shoes!! Eldest has grown a foot in a year, and gone up three shoe sizes. So that's 3x school shoes, 3x school trainers, 3x home trainers, 3x tennis trainers, rugby foots, football boots, Converse, walking boots. And he is happy to wear pretty much anything, and doesn't actually care if his shoes are too small.

Then the school trips which say "don't buy anything especially, but they need.......10 t shirts, 5 pairs trousers (not jeans), 5 fleeces, waterproofs. Oh, and the following shoes: dry trainers, wet trainers, indoor trainers, trainers for the disco, flip flops, walking boots, wellies......

£700! I won't even come close to that kitting out 4 children.

So it looks like children are cheap many choose not to do the things that make them cheap like

Do giving in to demands of name brands

Not handing things down even if there is nothing wrong it fab to have Diffrent tastes as siblings when yur paying

All my girls things are from boden or joules or next and pretty much only buy in sales at £30 a pop brand new the younger has the hand me down or chances it with the English weather that's the rub I not one for pandering to much

Like wise with food shop I am always a,axed how I many parents allow the children to dictate what hose in he shopping trolly or to graze the whole daylong

In my house the people who pay for the shopping choose what gets brought no bloody frozen themed baked beans in this house

I would also factor in childcare - you might have free childcare now but grandparents get older and children get harder to look after as they get older. Factor in another child and I would make sure you can afford the £1k + a month for nursery fees.

poster NicknameUsed Thu 11-Aug-16 19:14:31
"£700 for school uniform is probably top end for a state school. but not that unusual at secondary I don't think. "

DD's school uniform cost nothing like that much. Blazers £30, tie £7.00, PE shorts £6.50 but can be bought anywhere, long sleeve PE top £12.50, short sleeve PE top £8.50, PE socks £4.00 but can be bought anywhere.

Skirts/trousers and white shirts can be bought anywhere. That comes nowhere near £700.totally agree people want new every year then it's not costing 700 that's what you want to pay my son has has the same school bag since year 9 he's staying collage in steptember there is nothing wrong with it the Zips all work we choose a decent one it was £50 would of been £100 in the sale it's a proper outdoor wear racks ask so lots of pockets and water proof why the hell would I buy a new one his pencil case is fine I will only top up lost pens won't be replacing things that are fine if people are literally chucking everything out every year no wonder its costing so much my son is 6ft3 it cost £200 last year for his uniform most expensive was his blazer that has to be brought fm big and tall shop shoes we brought with a on line vocher even got free delivery😁

My husband earns 50k we have 3 children own our own home and I am sham and no we don't live up north were houses cost 100k

Babies are cheap, nappies from Aldi (they are FAB!) and breastfeeding....next to nothing. I saved money as I was too exhausted to go anywhere for 5 months.

Childcare when you return to work- not so cheap!!!

midcenturymodern DH & I agreed with every syllable of your post.

Babies are cheap. Young children are pretty cheap as long as you have free childcare and aren't bothered about reduced earning. But they grow... and they eat more (ds is 10 and eats more than me), their clothes and shoes (my god the shoes) get bigger and more expensive, they go on school trips and after school clubs, peer pressure kicks in and they start wanting expensive things (which of course you don't have to buy, but getting second hand things etc becomes harder).

We have 3 DC 9,7,5. DC 7 is severely disabled.
Childcare is expensive, respite care is even more expensive ... Think £55 for someone to look after DC for 4 hours.
After school club £6 for 2 hours, breakfast club £4 for 1 hr 30 mins.

Shoes for school, PE and weekend X 3
Uniform for school Jumpers £10 X 3 X 3
T shirts £6 X 3 x 3
Skirt/ trousers £8 x3 x 3
After school clubs ballet £50per half term
Multi sports £50 per half term

That's just school!

Disabled child need specialist vests ... £16 PER VEST !!!

Disabled child need shoes for school X 2 , shoes for PE X 2 shoes for home X 2. Wears leg splints so need with and without depending on how he feels and responds to splints.

That's just school... Not counting Clothes, scouts, rainbows, youth clubs etc etc .... And mine don't even need mobile phones or designer brands yet!

Babies are cheap as chips and really easy .... Kids are difficult and expensive !!

We didn't buy anything new for them as babies:
Given/lent cot/buggy/pram/Moses Basket/car seat/washable nappies/most of clothes.
High chair was her first Christmas present from pil.

The first new thing I bought for any of them was a potty.

Fast forward 15 years and I've just been out clothes shopping with dd2 who has had a growth spurt and doesn't fit most of her clothes. I've paid £200 (for about 15-20 items of clothing). I do still buy some second hand stuff but not so much, and it tends to be when they say "I really want X" and it's out of our price range.

It depends on your lifestyle pre baby, some people are very frugal (some because they have to be) on utility bills.

You've got to hear your rooms to the required temperature post baby and if you get a puky one, then you can be stripping beds, cushion/sofa covers, as well as clothes washing, daily.

There can be a lot of food waste when weaning starts and up until they're around three.

Depending on what's in your area etc, keeping them happy than cost a bit.

If you have a tough month, you can't do without/cut down, in the way that you could before children.

I agree that they're nowhere near as expensive as older children.

Teens are more expensive to feed but our earnings were so much more by then and no childcare at that age. Also ours have had p/time jobs since 13.
Holidays are the most expensive bit especially as we have taken ours abroad every year. But that will be ending as DS has a full time job and has reached the age of wanting to go with friends after this year.
Supporting them through Uni must be expensive but D's went down the apprentice/job route. So we got away lightly.

DD's school uniform cost nothing like that much. Blazers £30, tie £7.00, PE shorts £6.50 but can be bought anywhere, long sleeve PE top £12.50, short sleeve PE top £8.50, PE socks £4.00 but can be bought anywhere.

Skirts/trousers and white shirts can be bought anywhere. That comes nowhere near £700

That's £70 plus skirts and trousers easy £10 each so £90 PE shorts take it to £100

Plus schools shoes Astro trainers outdoor trainers and indoor trainers - all kept in school - there's £200

Taking your total to £300

That's without the bag or stationary calculators etc

So the person who spent 700 on 2 kids isn't far off your total

I forgot the bras - must be white without lace - £18 each. Or the crop tops £5 each / younger DD

DD's school uniform cost nothing like that much. Blazers £30, tie £7.00, PE shorts £6.50 but can be bought anywhere, long sleeve PE top £12.50, short sleeve PE top £8.50, PE socks £4.00 but can be bought anywhere.

Skirts/trousers and white shirts can be bought anywhere. That comes nowhere near £700

That's £70 plus skirts and trousers easy £10 each so £90 PE shorts take it to £100

Plus schools shoes Astro trainers outdoor trainers and indoor trainers - all kept in school - there's £200

Taking your total to £300

That's without the bag or stationary

Went to wilko yesterday got everything ds will need for collage for £16 even last year when he was at school it was only £20 for pens and stuff

I realise this totally isn't the point of the thread and isn't what the OP is asking about

This post is really just to add another POV about the cost of having a baby

If you think having children is expensive, try making them. If you made your baby with some sex, you're already financially ahead

I'm £30,000 down on IVF and other fertility treatments - no baby to show for it

And we don't know if we will ever be successful

I realise that isn't the point of the thread and don't mean to derail, but just wanted to share that for some people, the costs associated with having a baby begin much, much earlier

Pleasemothermay, house prices in the north are not as universally low as you suggest lol! 100k wouldn't go far in South Manchester

Op my pram cost me £35 from new for new baby got it from gumtree it's a mamas and papas one rewind to my first child when I didn't have a clue I spent nearly £500 on a brand new parm wtf was I thinking

Plus schools shoes Astro trainers outdoor trainers and indoor trainers - all kept in school - there's £200ypu get get Astro trainers for £25 form sports direct so not sure what your buying for £200 but if your buying expensive brands then that's because you want to not because you have to
My son plays rugby so I know how much the Diffrent boots costs he's a size 12.5 and his were only £40 so even with another pair that's only £80

I'm relieved babies relatively speaking are manageable cost-wise. We have flexible working so we're doing 1 day a week each childcare and family doing the other 3.

I'm staggered at the biggest cost being shoes and food! Me and DH feed both of us at Aldo for £30 a week- £200 a week is crazy money!

Thank you to all those distinguishing between 'essential' costs and 'luxury' costs, I think activities etc will be expensive but it'll be important to have that variety. The budget will stretch to that eventually

We spend £80 or thereabouts on food we have a baby , toddler a teen two adults and a cat that includes nappies and stuff

Like people have pointed out you can buy school stationary from wilko and pay 70p for 6 pens of go to wh smiths and pay £1.30 for a pack for pens

Often it's not actually worn wile going back to work my sister earns £50 a month but she wants to keep her place in the work of work tbh she won't as she always has to leave early she's had to leave on the spot a few times due to nursey and baby being ill it's unlikely she will get promotion so she has 3-5 years of being Stagnet in her job while earning £50 and feeeing flustered and doing nothing very well

I think the diffenence in food is also you always try and give children healthier than you might have. So whilst an adult may just eat a piece of toast for breakfast, for a toddler you might offer 1/2 piece of toast, plus an egg, plus some fruit or plain yogurt or whatever.

Can we mention toilet roll?

Where does it all go?

Washing must add hundreds -

We do £80 a week term time in Aldi but the holidays we hit £100 at least, soooooo much extra food as he seems to grow like a weed during holidays.

Why, thank you GnomeDePlume

pleasemothermay1 are you saying you buy boden and joules as a cost saving mechanism for teenagers? I looked at their bikinis in desperation just before we went away this year because everywhere was out of stock and I think they were over £20 each for an itsy bitsy triangle one. I managed to get some in H&M in the end, 2 each for 2 dds, at £6.95 each. It would have been over £90 at boden. Apologies if I have the wrong end of the stick.

I've thought of another one - washing. Not just the water and powder but the wear and tear on the machine. You have do more loads when their clothes are massive. Washable nappies killed my last but one machine. Wear and tear generally I suppose, on the appliances, the car, the carpets, the sofa. It adds up. You don't always have to replace things (my carpets are very shabby) but sometimes you really do.

It also doesn't necessarily stop when they grow up. Student loans don't cover living expenses and part time jobs that fit around uni are like gold. Hopefully that will change and you don't have to sub them but they are your babies so you want to help. Also 'free childcare' is often 'childcare subsidised by mum and dad'. When mine were younger I knew a lot of gps who paid for toddler groups and soft play and 3x meals a day for the dgcs they looked after. They did it willingly, because nice people do put themselves out to help their dc if they can but caring work is not free just because someone is doing it for free. Nobody has a baby and then thinks 'In 50 years time I will be spending £1K a year feeding and entertaining my pre-school grandchildren', that would be bats, you just absorb it.

I think the diffenence in food is also you always try and give children healthier than you might have

Totally agree with this. I had toast and jam for dinner last night, the dcs had soup with noodles and cuttlefish and about 8 dif vegetables and a boiled egg each. Sometimes they have egg and chips or beans on toast, but not every day. 3 of them also have school dinners, £10 a week for primary, about £12-14 for secondary.