To be a bit pissed off about this?

[Syrianamal]

Moving into new house with 3 girls, one of them has a dp who will be staying a few nights a week (she's not contributing more for this and she can't stay at his). He is also coming over to move her in etc etc. I was kind of hoping that first night would be a girly bonding night?!

Get her boyfriend to help move your heavy stuff!

nofunking makes a good point about noisy sex. Because....Just no. If you haven't had any for a while, it's like a form of torture, and if you have got a man, then you're into the old 'are we dong it as much as them?' saga. So. Not. Good.

OMG that sounds almost identical to a situation I was in about 8 years ago except I was the girl with the Bf. Started doing a college course and moved in with a few of the girls also on it. My Bf at the time was sofa surfing and living out of his vw camper so.... Two birds with one stone he helped me move in as he had a camper but also kind of didn't leave as I/we for a while liked having him around. Bad blood started to surface after he refused to pay rent and the other girls got tired of housing him for free. I split from him and moved out, dropped out and met someone else.

I always felt like I'd missed out on that kind of all girls 'friends' thing in my late teens early twenties as I always had some bloke attached to me.

yojesse. Sorry, I completely caught on your phrase 'two birds with one stone ' there, and was all 'what the fuckity what what?!

Eh? Am I missing something? Just saying he had the space in his van to move my stuff and also didn't want to spend every night in a moldy vw.

I'm being a twat. It's when I got to the 'two birds with one stone' sentences, my horribly dirty mind thought your BF was doing the deed with you & your flat mate! I wouldn't worry about feeling you've missed out; I did a lot of house shares, and while there were some laughs and good memories, there was also a hell of a lot of bitching, arguing and falling out. Sometimes, a bit of space is what helps worthwhile friendships to survive.

He was a bit of a cock, wouldn't of put it passed him!

I still despite this that I'd spent some of my adult life not living with either parents or partners. friends has a lot to answer for!

I still despite this wish I'd spent some of my adult life....

When my two flatmates at uni coordinated theirs boyfriends' stays at our place I began to feel such a spare part in my own home. The dynamic was awful - they all GELLED so well and I clearly didn't. Everything I did was different to the way they did things I fucking hated it. Money, meh. Dynamics completely changed my home life and my feelings of comfort in my own front room.

Yanbu.

Yep. This is it. Waking up, making yourself a coffee and taking it into the front room, to find three of the boyfriend's mates sprawled on your sofas and having to sidle back to your room.....YoJesse, you didn't miss out - it's a minefield! Be grateful you had enough romance in your life to spare you the horrors of house-sharing; it definitely ain't how it's portrayed on the telly!

I opened this thread last night for forgot to reply, OP - something similar happened to me and it was awful!

Second year of uni I moved in with 2 friends and one of their friends, whose ex-bf started staying over 3-4 nights a week. Within a fortnight he lived there, for the entire year. The guy 'lived' 100 miles away but had a job in our city so clearly had moved in.

The 4 actual tenants were students so out during the day and we all had jobs too, so no more than 2 in the flat most evenings. The ex-bf worked nights in a bar, so was home all day and had a habit of leaving lights on everywhere he went. As he didn't bring anything to the flat, he treated everything like it was his, food, toiletries, kitchen utensils & pans (that were never washed).

Looking back, I wish I had the backbone I do now because I'd have told him to contribute or get out. He did end up paying 1/5th of the bills for the last 3 months but it still seemed a total piss take.

OP. Say something or get out.

Yanbu, I would be pissed off at this too. Been there and done this with flatmates moving their partners in. It can make for a very uncomfortable atmosphere where you feel like you're imposing on their home. I'm also guilty of doing it, but my flat mate had the guts to tell me and I decamped to the boyfriend's place most of the time.

It's ridiculous of PPs to bang on about how much a fucking shower costs, that's not the point at all.

Ironically (given that several PPs have suggested I might not be cut out for house sharing), the girl with bf is moving from own 1 bed place (where he stayed as much as he wanted) to houseshare. I'm sure it will be fine but I feel like they are prob both in the habit of doing what they want when they want... And that could be difficult.

No, it won't be fine unless you're fine with having 3 housemates rather than 2 and with one flatmate thinking she can just do whatever she wants. I wouldn't move in with them. Why are they moving to a houseshare? Let me guess, because it's cheaper, especially when they can do whatever they like and there's 2 other people to subsidise it. She's a domineering bully, not a friend, and it'd be foolish to move into a houseshare with them. My arse he'll be there 'a few nights'. That's to keep you sweet until he moves in full time.

Been there, bought the tshirt.

It never ends well.