To be a bit pissed off about this?

[Syrianamal]

Moving into new house with 3 girls, one of them has a dp who will be staying a few nights a week (she's not contributing more for this and she can't stay at his). He is also coming over to move her in etc etc. I was kind of hoping that first night would be a girly bonding night?!

Costacoffee what?

You said we don't know what a house share is OP. I think Costa is justified in her reply.

I think he should cough up for leccy/food at least... You can still have girly bonding, but alcohol and a male could end up in a bit more 'bonding' than you reckoned on I have a filthy mind. You're within your rights to ask for some contribution if he's not paying rent, assuming he's taking showers, eating meals etc?

Did you post about this situation before? The boy friend is going to be staying over 4/5 times a week IIRC?

I had this situation with a flat share and it ended with me leaving. My friend and I paid half each on all rent/bills/food but her boyfriend lived with us 4/5 nights and never paid a bloody penny!

At the time we were really struggling financially, and I was so pissed off that he was freeloading. Plus it's yet another bloody person using the bathroom that you have to wait for before getting your shower, another person whose TV choices have to be taken into account, etc etc. It IS like having another housemate you hadn't factored into the decision.

I know very well what a house share is thanks op I've lived in a fair few myself.

You pay rent to share a house but you are still entilited to have male or female friends/partners stay over just as you would if you rented/owned your own home.

You're being pissy and patronising 'don't know what a house share is'

Grow up

So what do you propose he contributes? Will he have his own room? If your boyfriend stays the night will you charge him?

Madamdeathstare has it in one. I've been in her situation before and absolutely shat on, I don't want it to happen again.

It's not so much the money, more the dynamic

Then you have to set ground rules or don't move in with them

I'm assuming you knew about the BF before moving in? Then you knew the dynamic before signing contracts.

Why did you agree to this, if you object to it so strongly?

Well then your stuffed. You can't dictate the 'dynamic'. If you're this uptight and regulatory about things it's no wonder she wants her boyfriend over.

I did a flat share way back with my then BFF. One of the reasons we decided to move in together was because we were both living at home, and couldn't have boyfriends stay with us. She did have a BF, I didn't. I was initially fine about it, he was a nice guy and I knew him. He also smoked a fair bit of weed, got serious munchies, and within weeks, I got extremely fed up of finding all my crisps/sugary cereals/ biscuits had disappeared in the night. My flat mate was a health nut, and funnily enough, he didn't find her rice cakes and lentils quite so appetising.

He also had a habit of leaving the fan heater on when he left for work after us (ate leccy like crazy). The straw that broke the camel's back was coming home from a double shift waitressing to find all his mates sprawled in our living room. I confronted friend, she defended BF (who paid nothing) and I left.

If they want to spend 4/5 nights together, why can't they move in together, instead of using you to pay the rent? He doesn't want to commit to that, hence 'she can't stay at his'. He gets to play bachelor boy for part of the week while taking the piss out of you and your friend. Find some other house-mates!

Yeah but doesn't everyone else charge their friends when you invite them over?

I live with my dp now but we charge people as follows:

• opening the front door: 10p
• cup of tea: 30p (10p more for splash of milk)
• biscuit: 10p for crap ones, 20p each for nice ones
• use of the loo: 40p per flush
• wash hands: 30p to include one squirt only of soap. Use of hot water allowed only if checked with us first

If anyone wants to do anything else, stay for dinner or overnight we price that per head depending on circumstances

Isn't that what everyone does?

Is it too early to predict this flatshare will not go well?

I think OP is not so worried about 'staying over' as 'staying there all the bloody time'.