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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most children have their own bedrooms?

124 replies

mumtomaxwell · 09/08/2016 21:02

I have 3 children (twin boys aged 8 and a girl aged 4). At the moment they each have their own room - this was our main motivation for moving. However, I'm now thinking if we downsized to a 3 bed again we'd be able to afford for DH to work less and we could have a less stressful life. I work too but there isn't scope to increase to full time and I don't want to!

But is it unreasonable to expect my sons to share a bedroom again?

OP posts:
LottieDoubtie · 09/08/2016 21:03

Of course not! Loads of children share rooms it is totally and utterly normal.

Primaryteach87 · 09/08/2016 21:04

Not unreasonable, especially as they are the same age, but as teens it might cause you more stress than you save...

Rattusn · 09/08/2016 21:04

It depends very much on your sons.

There is nothing wrong at all with sharing a room, and in fact it is very much the norm in a lot of places (London included)

m0therofdragons · 09/08/2016 21:04

My twins share. We suggested moving and them having their own rooms and they both dissolved into tears so we haven't bothered. We know a few who share. They have space to be on their own so I'm not worried.

Amelie10 · 09/08/2016 21:04

Er no. Do you really, really, really think every household has a bedroom for each child? Hmm nothing wrong with the 2 boys sharing a room.

NeedACleverNN · 09/08/2016 21:05

Most children do have their own bedroom but it's not unreasonable for them to share a room if there is enough room.

I prefer them having their own bedroom. Especially when older. No bickering when they are shut in their own bedrooms Grin

AngelBlue12 · 09/08/2016 21:05

I shared with my sister growing up, our children all share, most of my friends children also share bedrooms.

BenLinusatemyhomework · 09/08/2016 21:05

Nope. 4 kids, 3 bedrooms. We make it work.

AndNowItsSeven · 09/08/2016 21:06

Plenty of children including my own share bedrooms.

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 09/08/2016 21:06

nope, my two youngest share and will until it's inappropriate (dd and ds)
That said, taking away the freedom of own rooms when they have had them is trickier, you don't miss what you never had but if used to their own space they might find it hard short term. Ages?

AngelBlue12 · 09/08/2016 21:06

Fwiw, our kids opted to share, they weren't forced into it.

Floggingmolly · 09/08/2016 21:06

I doubt most children have, at all. It's certainly not essential, especially for children of the same age.
Can you seriously weigh up your DH being able to work less and have a less stressful life against your boys having a room each and choose the room??

19lottie82 · 09/08/2016 21:07

I don't think it's unreasonable for children to share a bedroom. Plenty of children do it. It's certainly not "not normal". I don't know if "most children" have their own rooms, it depends on the size of the family, the house prices where they live, and family income.

How much money would downsizing get you? And how long would that last? How many hours is your husband working at the moment?

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 09/08/2016 21:07

Oh sorry, in your OP. 8 - fine. As they get to 11 plus though I suspect they would appreciate privacy

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 09/08/2016 21:08

I never had my own room till I moved out.

It was fine, I think I'm well adjusted and normal.......

Grin

My boys share one is 13 one is 5 the only row is over the posters on the wall

divafever99 · 09/08/2016 21:10

A few people I know have children sharing rooms as they live in 2 bedroom house and simply can't afford to move. I also know someone who has converted a 2 bedroom to a 3 bedroom, the rooms are quite small but everyone has there own. Maybe keep this in mind if you start looking at property. I have 2 dd's, and they currently have a bedroom each but dd1 is desperate for dd2 to move into her room!

Greenyogagirl · 09/08/2016 21:10

It all depends on your family! I know a couple who have 3 kids in one bedroom in a small house and they're all happy. I have 3 bedrooms and it's just me and my son and I don't have room for another child (or a partner Grin )

lalalalyra · 09/08/2016 21:11

My twins (13yo) share. Younger girls will share as well once the baby is old enough to move into her own room. They could all have their own room, but I think sharing bedrooms and having a playroom is a much better use of space. Last year when the extension was getting built the two boys shared (16 & 8) and it did them no harm.

liz70 · 09/08/2016 21:12

My DDs 1 and 2 (we have three) shared a bedroom until the ages of 12 and 11. They seemed fine with it, but they really needed some privacy as teens, so DH and I moved to a sofa bed in the living room so as to give all three DDs a bedroom each.

I don't think there's anything wrong with children sharing, although I think it's harder as teenagers.

Would you and your DH be prepared to sleep on a sofa bed in a smaller house, abd give the three bedrooms up to your DC? I take it extension or loft conversion aren't options either?

BakingBunty · 09/08/2016 21:12

Absolutely fine, my two share (DS 4, DD 1) and love it.

Mycraneisfixed · 09/08/2016 21:12

Lots of children share bedrooms. Your dilemma is that your sons have had their own rooms till now and won't be too thrilled about having to share.
Things are often tough financially when kids are small but it gets easier.
I don't know why but it usually doesSmile
Moving house costs a lot of money anyway (stamp duty etc) so why not struggle as things are for maybe a year and see how things are then.

Vickyyyy · 09/08/2016 21:14

We have a room each for our kids. Granted one is a box room and we can;'t fit much in it besides a bed...but the choice is there. At the moment, they chose to share. Mind...they are 2 and nearly 4..this may change in a few years.

I shared a room with my little sister until I was 14. Never did me any harm, though I did bug my parents for my own room a lot come that age.

Lovelongweekends · 09/08/2016 21:17

My dd will only sleep if they are sharing a room, any discussion of separate rooms result in tears. They are only 5 and 2 though!

MolesBreathless · 09/08/2016 21:19

Honestly, I think the number of bedrooms in your house is a good guide as to the maximum number of DCs you should have.

Providing each DC with their own private space is (IMO) the most basic of things a parent needs to do (up there with feeding/clothing etc).

Believeitornot · 09/08/2016 21:22

Mine are 6&4 and they share with no signs of wanting to have their own sleeping area (they're opposite sex siblings).

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