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Original poster

To think most children have their own bedrooms?

124 replies

mumtomaxwell · 09/08/2016 21:02

I have 3 children (twin boys aged 8 and a girl aged 4). At the moment they each have their own room - this was our main motivation for moving. However, I'm now thinking if we downsized to a 3 bed again we'd be able to afford for DH to work less and we could have a less stressful life. I work too but there isn't scope to increase to full time and I don't want to!

But is it unreasonable to expect my sons to share a bedroom again?

OP posts:
pleasemothermay1 · 09/08/2016 21:24

Not really
We have a 3.5 bed house and were trying to get our dd3.5 in with dd15 months so we can down size and reduce our mortgage we don't want to buy a four bed we also have a teen boy

twinkletoedelephant · 09/08/2016 21:25

I have never had my own room :-(

We have 3 children and turned dining room into our bedroom so they can have their own room... My 8 yr old innerself is very very jealous. Especially. As dds room is massive.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/08/2016 21:29

The idea that private space for each child is a necessity up there with food and clothes would seem very bizarre to most of the world and through most of history, even for rich people!

monkeysox · 09/08/2016 21:29

I think ideally dc have their own rooms.

Due to the costs incurred in moving would you save that much by downsizing?

Fast forward 4-5 years and they'll need their.own space.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/08/2016 21:29

We have 3 ds's and gave a 3 bedroom house.

They've always shared , there were times when ds2 had a moan about it but he had to get in with it. Ds1 and him live away from home term time but have to share during holidays.

It's a squeeze now they're adults, can't deny that.

Original poster
mumtomaxwell · 09/08/2016 21:30

I like the idea of buying something that would allow flexibility in the future. I love our house, but I see my DH getting so tired/stressed with his stupid long shifts and figured a smaller mortgage would be one way to enable him to work less. But then putting the boys back together could cause more stress! None of their friends share rooms with siblings so it's not the norm amongst their peers. But as some of you have said when they're teenagers in the no too distant future they'll probably want/need a bit of privacy.

OP posts:
amusedbush · 09/08/2016 21:30

One of my friends shared a room with both of his brothers growing up! That was annoying when we were 16/17 and couldn't ask his annoying 9yo brother to leave as it was his room too Grin

Sharing a room is totally normal. It might take some adjustment because they're used to having their own room but they'll settle in.

rara67 · 09/08/2016 21:31

Could you perhaps give the Twins the largest of the three bedrooms and you and DH take the second bedroom? You might then have scope to partition it in some way. Good luck with the decision.

ohtheholidays · 09/08/2016 21:31

Of course not every child has they're own room!

How do you think that would work for much larger familys where they have 11+ children.

2 of our 5DC share a room,the other 3 have a room each so our DC are quite lucky in that respect.
I know familys that have 4DC to one room because they can't move for various reasons.

SoggyBeachDays · 09/08/2016 21:31

Mine share completely through choice (we have 2 spare bedrooms that they could have (ie 4 bedroom house, 3 children) but they (all 3 of them) choose to share one room).

stoppingcontact · 09/08/2016 21:32

I two boys (four year age gap) in a two bedroom terrace. They don't mind sharing a room. They have the big bedroom, and I have the small one.

I know a family with five children, and they live in a two bedroom house. All the boys (including dad) in one, and all the girls (including mum) in the other. Clearly this is not ideal, but it works for them. Nobody would choose that situation, but happy families can thrive in all sorts of adverse circumstances.

EastMidsMummy · 09/08/2016 21:33

You've asked two very different questions:

  1. Do most children [in the UK?] have their own bedroom? I don't know. I bet someone can post a link to the answer.Posters saying of course they do or of course they don't show why it's foolish to only go on your own experience.

  2. Is it unreasonable to expect children to share? Of course it isn't.

AnyFucker · 09/08/2016 21:34

I find it hard to countenance that a partnered couple give up their own bedroom and privacy so that their kids get their own room

That's martyring yourself for your offspring gawwn maaad Confused

sukindred · 09/08/2016 21:35

I have six sons so of course they have shared rooms in fact they thought it strange that the youngest son who had his own box room could get to sleep on his own. which is quite cute really xx

Arfarfanarf · 09/08/2016 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marmaduchess · 09/08/2016 21:37

Mum2M

Could you consider a three bedroom with a large front room and two windows? Take bedroom two for yourselves and create distinct areas for the two boys in the front room each their own desk wardrobe, and bed of course?

Are the twins identicals or fraternal? My impression is that identicals are usually extremely close while fraternals are more likely to have resentments and rivalries.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/08/2016 21:40

Your moving costs really will negate a lot of this saving so please factor them in. And perhaps when your dcs are a bit older, you may decide you'd like to work or something and that would lighten the load too. Not that I'm saying its a MUST, just something you may consider down the line.

In answer to your question, brother and I always had a bedroom thank god. He bullied me like crazy. It really depends on the children. It is more important to have a happy family than the correct number of bedrooms Imo. Many children are well adjusted and happy having always shared. Others, who for example came from background, such as myself, where we had a bedroom each, were anything but well adjusted children.

There are a lot of things to consider over the long term. If you stay in the larger house, it may be a good choice in the long run so consider choices carefully. You may want to help out your children financially in later life, and will be able to down size to release funds. Or retire early.

bramblesandblackberries · 09/08/2016 21:40

In my experience it's normal for children to have their own bedrooms, but I live in the North of the country and houses are of course cheaper.

Personally I would have hated to share beyond the age of about ten, so I wouldn't expect my children to share.

The summer I did my A levels we moved. The house had two bedrooms and two reception rooms so my dads original plan was to use one of the reception rooms as a bedroom for him. However, none of the beds fit. My brother came home from university and had a job working nights in a warehouse and so he and my dad alternated not only sharing a bedroom, but a bed until the new beds arrived! It was quite funny really!

Trills · 09/08/2016 21:40

I don't think that would be a less stressful life, TBH.

jamdonut · 09/08/2016 21:42

My boys are 23 and 16

They have shared a room since we moved to this house 13 years ago. The eldest is not always here now ( at uni) but he knows that after his 3rd year , next Summer, he's going to have to find his own place. Youngest gets really fed up when oldest comes back... he sees it as his room, now and hates sharing,but there's not a lot of choice.
My daughter(also at Uni), comes home weekends to go to work...she has the tiniest room with just enough room for her bed and not much else...her room at uni was huge in comparison! She's looking forward to sharing house with 3 others in a couple of weeks.

PersianCatLady · 09/08/2016 21:42

Personally I don't think you would save as much money as you think by downsizing once the costs of moving are taken into account.

unlucky83 · 09/08/2016 21:42

My twin brothers shared a bedroom until they were late 20s... they are a good few years younger than me so once I had left home when they were 11ish they could have had their own rooms but didn't want to. In fact when one split up with his gf and he moved back he chose to move into a room with his brother...
Having said my sister and I had to have our bedroom divided as we were going to kill each other...
A friend has teen twin girls - they chose to share until they were about 14 - even though they had separate rooms. Now 16 one is in a smallish room that was their younger sibling's and the other has a bigger room - they spend most time in the bigger bedroom together - both sleep there still sometimes - but they have their own space to go to.
My DD's share a room - 15 and 9 - we are supposedly moving into a house where they will have their own room but the youngest one doesn't want to be 'on her own' . The oldest one does occasionally say she'd like to have her own room but then when DD2 is at a sleep over or something she occasionally comes into DP and I's bedroom for company...

unlucky83 · 09/08/2016 21:44

Ahh both sets of twins I talked about are identicals...

fusionconfusion · 09/08/2016 21:46

I never had my own room. Ever. I went from home to flat shares in crowded Dublin where we all shared rooms to living with partners, back to flat shares, back to partners.

Wow. Feels weird when I write it like that! But hey ho had lots of fun in all scenarios and could sleep through the Armageddon.

WhenTheDragonsCame · 09/08/2016 21:46

My younger 2 are 2 years apart and have always shared. They have complained once or twice but mostly they are ok with it. They have the largest room, I have the middle one and DD1 has the smallest. I am a single parent so am happy to have a smaller room but to be honest all are an ok size in this house. I have lived in places where the 3rd room is tiny and could only have a bed and no furniture which was more of an issue.