To think most children have their own bedrooms?

[mumtomaxwell]

I have 3 children (twin boys aged 8 and a girl aged 4). At the moment they each have their own room - this was our main motivation for moving. However, I'm now thinking if we downsized to a 3 bed again we'd be able to afford for DH to work less and we could have a less stressful life. I work too but there isn't scope to increase to full time and I don't want to!

But is it unreasonable to expect my sons to share a bedroom again?

I knew a family with 4 kids all sharing, 2 boys 2 girls. About 12 years between oldest and youngest. They were all fine with it mostly. Then I knew 2 twin girls who fought so much they had to have separate rooms from a young age. It all depend's on the family.

I have 5 DSs in a 4 bed house - the oldest has his own room, the next 2 share and the youngest 2 share however until a few years ago we lived in a 2 bed and they all shared 1 room (7 years between oldest and youngest).
They don't seem to mind sharing, in fact they are very close and they enjoy not being on their own.

I grew up an only girl and had my own room, tbh I hated it and loved the very rare occasion when I stayed with my cousin and shared her bunk beds!

I can't believe it's detrimental to a child's wellbeing to share a bedroom with a sibling and putting it up there with giving love, food, etc is just bonkers

Wouldn't it have been easier for grandmother and her sister to share? It would have cut back on the washing.
Five in one bedroom seems unreasonable, unless the room was very large and airy.
Ideally, each child should have his or her own room after a certain age. Opposite sex children shouldn't share after eight or so.

I have 5 DCs (4DDs, 1 DS) and all of them shared a room in different combinations at some point. DS had his own tiny room when he got to age 7. The DDs all shared on and off. DD1 had her own room for a while as a teen. Most of their friends shared rooms with siblings. One shared a room with her granny when she moved in with them, while her sister with whom she had shared up to then moved down to a back kitchen with a fold out bed and a space heater in winter because she had an earlier start than anyone else for sport training.

When they moved off to university my DCs all shared small double rooms with complete strangers, as is the norm here (US) in dorms. They found that in general people who had shared bedrooms fared better in the university dorm situation than those who had always had their own room.

Most of the houses near where I live have three bedrooms. During the baby boom years, most families were huge. I lived a few doors down from a two bedroom house where six children were raised, all of them over 6 feet tall when they grew up.

My two eldest girls share. They still love it right now at 9 and 12. When we moved they cried at the thought of not sharing.

We have a 3 bed house but it's over 3 storeys so we could convert the bottom floor into another bedroom if needed.

In my group of friends and family 90% of families with 3+ kids have kids who share. Some with 2 kids have them share as well but it's not as high a percentage.

Most of my friend's children have their own bedrooms. My 3 children share one room. We don't have a choice at the moment and when we move we will only be able to afford 3 beds so the boys will have to share indefinitely anyway. There is a 6 year age gap so I'm just hoping that ds2 will be happy to play downstairs while ds1 has quiet time in their room and by the time ds2 gets to that stage ds1 will be off to uni.

It's totally normal for children to share rooms but I always had my own growing up.

It doesn't really mater what most children in the world have.

Or what most children in the UK have.

It's not the norm among their peers. It's not what they are used to. They will notice it very strongly, and know that they were not forced into it by circumstance, it was your choice.

How "bad" it is to share a room will depend a lot on the personalities of the children involved. I would have hated it. If circumstances had made it necessary I would have dealt with it, but if my parents had actively chosen it I'd have been upset and resentful.

Juan my 3 boys share 1 room at the moment too and they are 5, 3 and 1. It's a biggish room and they are only little so they a fine at the moment I guess.
I too will only be able to afford a 3 bed when I eventually move, so 2 of my boys will have to share and one will have his own room. It's just choosing who thats the hard part.

Ericaequites
Five in one bedroom seems unreasonable, unless the room was very large and airy

Yes Ericaequites I agree BUT at the time we had no choice, remember the recession? I bet we were not the only ones badly hit by it! It changed ours and a lot of other people's lives forever!!
At least we owned the 2 bed.
Now we have 4 bedrooms because we rent privately and probably always will (no chance of getting back on the property ladder unless we win the lotto).

I have three in one room.

I'd have expected twins to enjoy sharing a room. I'd give them a large room, although not necessarily the biggest.

I'd ask them.

I always had my own bedroom, loo and study growing up (abroad) so even getting used to the idea of sharing a loo took some time for me. DP on the other hand shared a bed with his brother until his brother left for the army at 18 (DP would've been 14). They both came out fine.

Not surprisingly, DP thinks our two-bed flat is large enough to raise a family in, whereas I want to move out and buy a semi before we even conceive.

This is one of those where what is normal for Mumsnet is quite different to what is normal for the rest of the UK.

I'm sure most children don't have their own room as a whole in the UK, and certainly anyone in social housing would be expected to share within guidelines - even teens of the same sex wouldn't be entitled to their own room.

But on here, it is almost seen as neglect and a real hardship should a child not have their own room. People sometimes even argue that children whose parents have separated should have their own room in both their parents houses.

How about buying a house with a separate dining room so that it can be a downstairs bedroom?
we have recently turned our dining room into a 5th bedroom so all children have their own space.

In MN land yes ever child has their own room and to your are a pauper / child abuser if you cant afford / are unable to provide this

In RL I know the full spectrum from someone expecting their second baby whilst in a 1 bed flat to someone who has just extended a 3 bed to a 5 bed so all kids have a room.

For the record we're in a 2 bed with 2 children who will share if youngest ever stops co sleeping

Excuse my terrible spelling and grammar. My phone has gone bonkers!!!

I have 5 in a 3 bed house. Oldest 2 share the smallest room, and youngest 3 in the biggest room. I have 12yo twins and they even shared a bed (through choice, they have a bunk bed) until recently. I'm sure they'd love their own rooms but unless I win the lottery it ain't happening!

Two of mine share and one has s box room but regularly spends time in with her sisters.

Ridiculous notion that they all have their own rooms

I have 5 in a 3 bed house. I'm single so I have the smallest room, which is big enough for a king size bed, a dressing table and 2 bookshelves with minimal space to walk around but it's cosy and I love it.

My daughters ages 2 and6 share medium sized room and three boys ages 3,7 and 8 share largest room.

They usually all end up in the bottom bunk if the boys room as they love being together so much! It's a similar set up at their dads too.

I have a large summer house with central heating, electric and a toilet in the garden so when they are teenagers either the oldest or me will move in there depending on what feels right at the time.

I have Two in a two bed house its council apparently they will be entitled to their own room at fifteen bpth are boy s my mum shared with her great aunt and gransna and my dad shared with his ywo brothers he also had three sisters that shared too.

Grandma*

It's 16 not 15.

I didn't know same sex children were entitled to different rooms? That's interesting. Are they treated as adults then?

See Crunchy I find the opposite - that on here there tend to be more people with larger families and therefore shared living space. Pretty much everyone I know in that vague 'real life' has two children and three bedrooms, sometimes four and a spare room.