To want Nanny to speak all German to kids?

[mika2]

German Nanny (fluent English) starts next month 4 days a week (8-6pm) and I think it's a great opportunity for kids to learn German. They are 3 and 1. Nanny said she was happy to do so during interview. I have very rusty conversational German and also plan to practice my German. I would like her to only speak to kids in German from day 1 and read German books, sing songs in German, watch German cartoons on iPad etc with the aim of them having a good understanding of the language this time next year, rather than just knowing colours etc. Anyway DH thinks it's crazy and kids will be very confused etc. He vetoed putting this in her contract and doesn't see having a second language as a priority whereas I feel really strongly about it... Just to be clear I didn't deliberately hire her because she is German, we liked her and it was an added bonus. Who is BU?

I've been friends with lots of English-speaking nannies working abroad. They really are hired to speak English with the children and they do that. The children do then learn to speak English as near-natives and carry on with it at school. It does work. There's nothing unfair about the nanny not being paid as a language teacher, because she won't do any language teaching - they will learn from immersion, at least the baby.

The attitudes here show quite negative attitudes to language learning.

"Why would you make her teach the kids German?"

What a negative attitude! Because learning languages is a good thing to do and the earlier you start the better.

The immersion method does mean all the time - so I don't agree with those saying you're unreasonable for having it all the time. You'd have to have the nanny speak only German to them for it to work or it will be too easy to slip into English.

Completely nuts!
By all means let her have fun with the children and teach them a little but honestly give the kids and the Nanny a break and not make it so regimented.

It is possible to maintain the language, but hard work. Ds was a fluent German speaker when we left Austria and it has been challenging to maintain his fluency here in China. He learnt the language as a native speaker would (Kindergarten and then school) and it was tricky to introduce more complex grammatical structures as he didn't know the formal terms for the way the language works - e.g didn't know the difference between a strong and weak verb, but could conjugate the verbs without thinking. We maintained the language through magazines, tv and taking the gcse early.

I would absolutely take advantage if this. It's a fantastic opportunity and a real gift for your kids.

It doesn't matter if they don't remember it, it will change the way they learn languages forever.

Also, I believe there are studies showing that being bilingual helps to protect against diseases like Alzheimers in later life due to the way it changes the make up of the brain. I haven't actually read them though, so I'd check how reputable they are before quoting me!

Your DH's objections are weak. The 3 year old won't be confused if you explain and, as a previous poster said, the 1 year old won't notice. And they will learn to code switch very quickly.

Back in the day I was an au pair in France and spoke only English to the children. I could understand them speaking French so it was ok. On the occasion I needed to explain something to them or comfort them in French, I also said it in English. It was fine. They weren't fluent by the time I left by any means, but it probably gave them a boost. The first time the 2 year old said 'come on' rather than 'viens' was really exciting! It was a bit of a game. When I picked the little one up from school, he'd usually ask ' ou est maman?'. I'd say 'at work' or ' at home' etc. He'd then run through all the options until I said yes. It didn't take long for him to understand what I was saying.

It's a nice idea but I doubt they'd become fluent. And as soon as they nanny left they'd forget it all again.

I lived in Germany until the age of 6, even going to school there. I spoke fluent German. We moved to the UK and now I can't remember ever having spoke it. I only know I could because we have a home video of me!

OP?

You could move to using Muzzy when the nanny leaves. Or if you're living in Dulwich (tiny odds I know) you could send them to Judith Kerr bilingual school.

I'm astonished at the negativity here. Of course get her to speak German to the children. They will learn, and even if they forget or never set foot in Germany, why reject such an opportunity to stretch their brains at this time of effortless language acquisition? I think that friendly body language and familiar routines will smooth over the intro, and it's not as if she won't understand the kids if they speak to her in English. Definitely do it!

Heron - I net if you went back to germany, a lot of it would come back to you.

I only learned what I know from listening to aunts and uncles, but even the little i learned is still there. I can tell when a sentence doesnt sound right, I know instinctively where the verb should be, I quite often, even now think of the german word for something (if there isn't an English word that fits better, like Shadenfreud or frissen)

Learning is on-going, all the time OP. Make the most of it - even if they do forget some of it in adulthood, doesn't mean it is not worth learning.

Even, if they don't maintain the German after she leaves, there is good scientific evidence that learning/hearing languages at a young age is a good thing. However, if you decide to go down this route, she does need to speak just the one language with them, so that they don't mix them up. I am a bi-lingual person who was "dropped" into a second language environment at the age of 3 and fluent within 3 months.

I would encourage her to teach them colours, animals, household objects and numbers etc. so that they know the nouns and adjectives and then she can use basic sentences with them so they can hear some grammar. 100% German would be tricky. Ask her to bring some 'Wimmelbücher' with her - they are good for chatting about every day things.

My (mostly English speaking, but with some German) girls moved to a German kindergarten last year at 3. It was stressful for them at first especially with the adjustment to a new setting (and new house/new country) but if you are willing to deal with a possible temporary drop in your 3yos behavior I think he could benefit and learn a lot in that year. Don't know too much about whether they retain a language much subsequently in that situation, but I have read that early bilingualism has benefits in terms of brain flexibility and later language learning, which would stay with him I guess.
For the one year old, same applies except it will be much less stressful!

If I were you I would stuck to English, particularly with your kids - in the early days they seem to be more accepting of the idea that each person speaks one language to them. For ages, my DDs would laugh whenever they heard me speaking German :-)

I think just be positive and encouraging about her speaking German with them as often as she feels comfortable with/ is working well with both your DC.

As someone who's worked as a nanny I'd strongly suggest that the decision doesn't have to be all yours, you can allow her some discretion for everyone's benefit.

Good idea though!

I think it's great that children are exposed to other languages when young, even if they lose them.
It has been shown that at those ages we can pick up specific sounds that adults then often don't even distinguish from others.
You could later keep their German with appropriate classes or by exposing them to German TV and children.

Your husband is very wrong that they'll get confused. If she only speaks German and from day one, they'll easily learn to separate things.
Mtilingual children do it all the time with parents and carers.

How long are you planning to keep this nanny? And will you always replace her with German speakers? I think that, in principle, the idea is good, but if you don't keep it up until they are at least 15, it will be wasted. My DS is 13, fully bilingual, but definitely still learning new vocabulary and grammar every day. Just like in English, you never really stop learning, providing you keep on reading.

You also need to think about the relationship between you, DH and the nanny. Will you be happy when you don't know what they are talking about?

Also, be aware that most likely, the children will refuse to speak German as soon they realise that she also speaks English. They will have a passive knowledge, but are likely to only become active users they are fully immersed in a German environment. Are you planning to move at any point, or send them to the Deutsche Schule in London?

The "completely nuts" and "bonkers" comments are

Exposure to a second language from an early age has many benefits, YANBU. Even in they don't become fluent or appear to retain it, German is an MFL in school and it is likely that they will remember things down the line.

Her speaking German from day one will not affect the 1 year old, however I would go through some basic high frequency words with the 3 year old (juice/milk/toilet/) before she starts. Make it into a game, and please report back here OP, I am excited for you

You wanted to put it in the contract?

ie you wanted to have grounds to sack her if you busted her not speaking German?

YABU

Yanbu, and there are a lot of weirdly negative responses in this thread.

Yes, I'd agree she might need to ease the 3 year old into it with using both languages at the start, but it will be great for them, whether you maintain it later or not, and you're not asking her to do more than communicate in her native language.

I'd let her focus on building a relationship with the children -especially the three year old - first. But not just German from the get go. Your three year old is already going to have to get used to a new person looking after them. Why make it harder for them to communicate.

I'm confused, have you moved to Germany and need the kids to speak German?

If not, I'm cringing for you.

Meant to say then yes ask her to teach them German after a while. But it's really important they build a good relationship with her and not understanding a word she says isn't going to help this.

I think it is a good idea to get her to teach them German. There are so many benefits to learning a second language, even if your children don´t retain the language later in life. I don´t know if full immersion will work or not - I suggest you try it out and see what happens. If you and your nanny find out that it is too much for your children, then change to a slower progression in learning. I don´t think you need to have it all decided now.

absolutely agree about her speaking 100% German to the children. Not to make it "contractual" though, partly because you'll need to have her thoroughly on board to make it work and forcing her to do it is not the way to achieve this.

We have friends who did the same, but with Spanish. The DDs were very capable of speaking good conversational and perfectly accented Spanish by the time we met them (then the DDs were 6 and 3), and they then went to live in Madrid - DDs were able to move straight into the school system. Neither parent was Spanish, they had learnt some at school, but they were not in a position to teach the DDs Spanish themselves.

Why is the idea nuts ? I hope the naysayers realise we are very much in the minority world wide, having such a large proportion of our population being mknoglotic. And of course, there is a significant minority in this country who speak at least two languages. So much better for your brain!

DH is German ( although he's been her for around 30 years) and even we only teach the children a few words. I speak 2 other European languages quite well and they know a few words in each of those too.
I am all for learning other languages and think we Brits lag behind the rest of Europe in this but I think it's a bit extreme to ask the Nanny to do this.
If she new the DC will be getting used to her and vice versa so I think that having her speak ONLY German will be too much.
Teaching them the word for things they use regularly and please, thank you etc will be plenty.