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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People not locking loo door-AIBU?

70 replies

lasttimeround · 07/08/2016 15:56

Genuinely seeking views. My FIL is a little eccentric and generally that's fine. But he often does not lock the bathroom door when he's on the loo meaning I walk in on him by accident. I absolutely hate this and find it really rude especially when they are staying with us. Aibu?

OP posts:

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 07/08/2016 15:58

Just knock if the door is shut and he is there.

He probably forgets to do it at your house if he doesn't do it at his own.

londonrach · 07/08/2016 16:00

I dont always due to be locked in once in a gArden center for 2 hours. I usually get dh to guard the door. Do lock door if cubical has gap at top or bottom to call for help.

sirfredfredgeorge · 07/08/2016 16:03

If you come from a home environment where doors are open unless things are occupied - and closed doors always require a knock to enter, then locking the toilet door doesn't become second nature. It's not necessary.

Nothing wrong with either, but it can be a difficult habit to break.

Amelie10 · 07/08/2016 16:05

Don't you knock before entering a room? Especially a bathroom?

Tarttlet · 07/08/2016 16:06

Have you told him how rude you find it?

I walked in on a little girl in a public toilet the other day. The door to the cubicle was ajar so I just assumed no one was in... I don't know why the person who was looking after her didn't say anything to me as I walked in (they were waiting by the entrance - I only realised they were with her later, once the girl started shouting about how she'd "done a poo!!!") - there were only three toilets; one had no seat, one was out of order, and the girl was in the other one! Luckily the girl didn't seem remotely upset by me walking in on her, but I was a bit startled...

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 07/08/2016 16:07

Just knock the door when others outside immediate family are in the house - we don't lock the doors in our house

wombattoo · 07/08/2016 16:08

We don't have a lock on our bathroom door. There is just myself and DH so we don't even close the door unless we have guests.The fact the door is closed means someone is in there.

EdmundCleverClogs · 07/08/2016 16:08

I was raised to never lock the bathroom door at home (unknown paranoia on parents part). Then again, I think it's usually obvious if someone is using the bathroom, isn't it? Either you've seen the person 'pop off to the loo', the fact the door is closed, or various noise from said bathroom should make it obviously in use (unless you live in a large house with a pick of toilets).

bluebeck · 07/08/2016 16:09

XMIL used to leave the toilet door wide open, and carry on a conversation with you, regardless of what she was doing in there................

Nocabbageinmyeye · 07/08/2016 16:10

Yabu, we never lock the toilet door, if it's closed it's in use or with the downstairs toilet as the door is always closed if the fan/light is on its in use. Most houses I know have no locks/keys in their doors as they would have young kids. Just knock ffs, your fil could start an aibu about his dil not knocking when he is in the loo, different houses have different rules, it's not a big deal

Nocabbageinmyeye · 07/08/2016 16:10

bluebeck

Vickyyyy · 07/08/2016 16:15

I don't think our bathroom door has ever been locked. Closing it is enough IMO. I always knock if a bathroom door is closed, as I imagine others do too?

Artandco · 07/08/2016 16:19

We don't have any locks on the bathrooms here

Door closed = knock, someone is probably inside

Door open = free to use

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 07/08/2016 16:26

Same as Artandco

the only time the door is shut is if someone's in there. (I daresay if we were posh and had a downstairs loo, I'd relent and keep that door shut)

I'm pretty claustrophobic due to being locked in a loo at nursery for a morning (long before Ofsted). Bastards buggered off on a picnic and didn't check the numbers.

Ginkypig · 07/08/2016 16:27

Art I agree.

Iv got a lock but it's hardl ever used.

When the kids are here it's knock if the door is closed

LockedOutOfMN · 07/08/2016 16:28

I tend not to lock toilet doors as I'd rather be walked in on than be trapped inside.

If I come across a closed toilet door, I'll listen for someone inside and then knock before entering. This is the rule in our house, my parents' house, my in-laws', and also my place of work (ever since a colleague was trapped inside our tiny airless toilet for more than 2 hours, and no one locks the doors anymore!)

nocoolnamesleft · 07/08/2016 16:30

Mine also doesn't have a lock: door fully closed means there's probably someone in there, so knock. Of course, the fact that the light pull also turns on an extractor fan gives an extra auditory clue.

Original poster

lasttimeround · 07/08/2016 16:31

Ah good old mumsnet - 10 years I've been with my husband and this never occurred to me: I could just knock!! To be fair we don't see them that often and at ours bathroon doors are shut always, locked if you want no one else in.
For years my fil has probably wondered why I don't blooming knock before surprising him on the crapper! Oh good lord!

OP posts:

Original poster

lasttimeround · 07/08/2016 16:33

Thanks all I now have a solution and he won't drive me nuts during their stay.

OP posts:

Collaborate · 07/08/2016 16:34

For those who never lock the door, and for whom a closed door means "occupied" and an open door means "vacant" - what on earth do you do when you have a poo? Don't you close the door? That's gross.

Locks are on toilet doors for a reason.

Artandco · 07/08/2016 16:38

Coll - Erm close the door. Closed means occupied. Occupied to do whatever you like. If it's open that means vacant so nobody would be in there pooing!

Original poster

lasttimeround · 07/08/2016 16:39

OK ono yo my next aibu. Meybr uou hdvr dn equally simple dolution for this one. He likes to wander about in his y fronts - maybe I just come across as really uptight but where I was raised there's string taboos around how you interact across gender and age and this makes me cringe.

OP posts:

cherryplumbanana · 07/08/2016 16:39

The toilet doors of our toilets are always closed, but we do knock.

I don't want my kids to lock themselves in and be unable to get out. I guess I could rescue them with a screwdriver if I had to, but don't want to. Never got round to put a lock at the top of the doors, so we just knock.

brambly · 07/08/2016 16:41

Knocking definitely best policy, I always knock on any closed door before entering, and even on ajar doors if I'm unsure if anyone is in the room.

Growing up, my mother was the only person in the household beside me that ever thought to knock before coming into a room - my dad and sisters would (and still do, when we're all together for holidays etc) just come flying in and then get surprised/embarrassed/both if the room's occupant was undressed/in flagrante/having a wank/changing sanpro.

I think accidentally barging in on your FIL or expecting him to lock the door is not intrinsically BU, but he may well have a reason for not locking it, and as I used to point out time and again to my knock-shy family members: rapping at the door and waiting for a response takes all of 1 or 2 seconds.

Wolpertinger · 07/08/2016 16:41

If the bathroom door is shut in our house that means it's in use. Otherwise it's open.

Never been in a house where family actually locked the door.

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