Is life harder for unattractive people?

[CherryPicking]

I know life can be hard for lots of reasons, and that discrimination can take many forms more serious than this, but putting all other factors aside just for now, is day to day life that little bit harder for less attractive people? For example, are people less likely to be accepting of someone behaving assertively, either at work or elsewhere, if the person in question isn't easy on the eye? (I'm not much to look at myself if that makes any difference). What about things like job interviews or social situations, meeting new people?

yeh, the problem with those men is that htey do value the life of a beautiful woman more. They really do think that an ugly woman is just taking up space or something.

Yes! When I am slim, life and society definitely treat me better than whenI am fat. For me, weight is the factor to take me from attractive to unattractive.

Exactly! Clothes, diet and style can work wonders in both directions
I do not believe there is anyone on this planet who could not have their burdensome beauty reduced with a few small steps.

Oh dear didn't realise that I had posted my post ! I had mean't to add that I have yet to meet anyone 'ugly' , some people are not beautiful , but the vast majority of us are a makeover away from being lovely

Justine my sibling was born with a cleft lip and palate , they have a far more successful life than me , and they are currently with a very high flying and very attractive person . As a family we value things beyond simple looks , which lets be honest can disappear in a heartbeat , cancer , accident , good old fashioned ageing and illness , vengeful acid attack , you name it .

Do attractive people get a better 'deal' in life ? I think they can if they are willing to take the rough with the smooth like the rest of us mere mortals

some people are not beautiful , but the vast majority of us are a makeover away from being lovely

most bawksome sentance I've ever read on mumsnet!

I tidy/groom myself well for work, and while I don't look anywhere near beautiful, I look professional

If I apply make up and nails etc makeover stylie I look like a sad desperate ugly lady who is trying and failing to look pwitty! like Miss Piggy!

I look much better "made down" with smart tidy hair and clothes. Still not beautiful, but more professional/less mad cat lady at least.

Sandy agree , very bawksome . I do wonder if we all posted pictures of ourselves at our most 'ugly' whether all the rest of us would agree or whether we are our own worst critics ?

I'm frumpy. I wear mum mum jeans.I'm not going to purposely make myself unhealthy though! What a bizarre idea.

TBH it angers me that the onus is on me to change how I look, not on others to treat me with basic human respect.

Isn't that what this thread is about? Lots of people have posted horrid stories of how nasty people are to them if they're bigger or whatever. We all deserve respect and not to be subjected to sexual harassment. None of us deserve the way we've been treated solely on our appearance.

Frumpet I bet most of the women calling themselves ugly are too harsh on themselves. There is average, yes. Very few people I've met are actually downright ugly (on the outside... Though one guy was a real wanker!)

We're all our own worst critic and we all focus on on our flaws

Most people are medium-looking.

Probably.

Is there anything you can do about it?

Probably not.

Special the people I know who are their own harshest critics tend to be the ones who are actually really rather fantastic looks wise , sometimes wonder if this is a stealth way of getting compliments or whether they are actually really lacking in confidence .

This thread is funny (weird funny) it is making me wonder who I do see that I would consider ugly- and I can't think of one person. Maybe I live in a bubble.
I do think people can get hair and make up badly wrong (eg looking like they are wearing a shit wig with a face like a pantomime dame) but I think it is possible to style anyone well if they really connect with the style and feel it really suits them - making them more comfortable in their own skin. It might mean wearing no make-up - however they feel comfortable. The worst make-overs are by stylists who have no appreciation of individuality.

I think life probably is easier if you are attractive. Attractive people more likely have more confidence which will also help. What amazes me though (and I am envious) is that some 'average' people look amazing because their personality shines through so strongly.
In my job I feel judged more harshly by women than a man would be. Women aren't always kind to other women!!

frumpet to be blunt: it is. I have a gorgeous friend who spends hundreds of pounds on fake tan, fake nails, hair extensions/roots, eyelash extensions etc etc a month. She's always saying how ugly she is, but then she sort of looks at us while she waits for us to object and tell her how beautiful she is.

That's why I despise false modesty. It's really just fishing. I was scouted for modelling as a teen (my mum said no) and I know I have what are considered conventionally beautiful features. I'm actually very insecure, but it would be wrong of me to complain about the ways I wish I could change when I know how lucky I am.

Interestingly if you just simply say 'yes, I'm beautiful' some people take it as me being arrogant. Because, y'know, good little women self deprecate so they can be reassured.

There's even a little on this thread. Someone specifically asked me for a photo of myself. Like I'm going to post a photo of myself on MN FFS

In my job I feel judged more harshly by women than a man would be. Women aren't always kind to other women!!

yup, with weight for sure. Thinly guised implications that the over weight women on the team are lazy and climb the ladder so they can sit in their own office "away from hard work" more.. but NOBODY would consider such a thing when it comes to the portly men in management!

Very true special agent. In my head I look like angelina Jolie . In real life... But when I look back at photos of my younger self I think 'you're not that bad'.
Its confidence we need. Look at Katie piper. She's a marvellous eg of a successful woman despite her horrendous facial injuries. I think we should all be as happy as we can with what we've got- hard advice to live by maybe?

but I think it is possible to style anyone well if they really connect with the style and feel it really suits them - making them more comfortable in their own skin.

MNs gone weird these days!

It didn't use to be so morning tv/cosmo/womens own

I posted earlier in this thread about being called ugly in my childhood and teenage years and apparently "beautiful" after that. I don't see it at all. I'm also amused by the number of absolute stunners there are on this thread. I'd be the first to say that I've never in my life seen anyone I would actually describe as "ugly" physically, but equally I don't see that many people who stop me in my tracks.

Sandy I think you are being harsh , I know if I lost 7 stone , someone pinned me down and dealt with my rampant facial hair , I had a fantastic hairstylist/colourist and make-up artist , dental work done , I could at a push look almost as good as any normalish presenter on the telly

I think I'm the only one who admitted men stop and stare, others mentioned people they know. I get sick with worry thinking about my DD. MY DS@ is going to be a averagely handsome man I think, but my DD? Already she gets comments and she's just a little girl. She's mixed race with my green eyes, she's extremely beautiful. Much more so than I. The world has gotten more and more superficial, I don't want her being treated the way I am/was at work, I don't want her to think her looks are all that matter. I'm sure she'll be scouted, we've turned down family catalogue work because of my DH's job, and because they didn't want to include DS1.

I never say 'what a beautiful little girl' to new friends etc I compliment the child on something else, like their smarts or wits. If it's a chat with a stranger, I'll try to find something on the child's clothing to compliment them. Never their looks. It's ingrained from such a young age

Remember there are millions of posters on here from all over the world, so it's not actually a lot, considering. Like I said, only I have said men turn to ogle, and I think one other poster said the same. That's not that many.

LOL! sounds lovely :-D

Sorry got on my soapbox a bit there.

*DS2

What sounds lovely?