Is life harder for unattractive people?

[CherryPicking]

I know life can be hard for lots of reasons, and that discrimination can take many forms more serious than this, but putting all other factors aside just for now, is day to day life that little bit harder for less attractive people? For example, are people less likely to be accepting of someone behaving assertively, either at work or elsewhere, if the person in question isn't easy on the eye? (I'm not much to look at myself if that makes any difference). What about things like job interviews or social situations, meeting new people?

What does 'STBXW' mean Malice? I'm usually pretty good at figuring out acronyms but I've drawn a blank.

'Soon to be ex wife' I think.

Me and my Mum are ordinary-looking but she raised me to be kind and pleasant to people. As a child, I was very shy but always noticed that people were really nice to her in public spaces and we often got given things for free (e.g. entry into ticketed places). She has always been overweight and is currently probably in the morbidly obese category, so not the mainstream idea of beauty, but her smile lights up a room and she is wonderful with people.

I have lost my shyness and discovered that people react very warmly to me, serve me at bars first etc., I think it's because I copy my mum and am smiley and polite. It definitely isn't about my appearance as I will never grace a magazine.

David Beckham
Actual talent
Financial rewards
Make your own equation

A lot of it must be self belief , I have always considered myself the plain side of attractive , until a few months ago when an old school friend put a photo on Facebook . I wondered who the pretty girl at the back was, it was me. This lack of self belief lead to depression and under achieving. Just wish I had discovered this new self belief before years of it had beaten me down

Actually I was very attractive when I was younger and just constantly got shit off other women particularly at work. I found it hard to make friends and I also had a lot of problems with sexual harassment. Everyone always assumed I was totally thick as well. If I'm honest though mine was a sort of slutty attractiveness (sorry can't think of another, better way to say it)

So no it didn't make my life easier!

I'm 37 now and still look ok but not quite what I was in my 20s and tbh my life is much better now, I have lots of Friends and people are nice to me at work and I'm taken more seriously

Given my lousy current job and indeed the one before it, I must look like a gargoyle.......still single too after 10 years post divorce... I rest my case...

Sixteen years ago I got Diabetes and lost Three stone , the difference to the way I was treated by shop assistants and strangers was unbelievable . Folks couldn't do enough to be helpful , wheras when I was fat (and I was) folks watched me as if I was a shoplifter .

I think there is plenty of research isn't there, which says that attractive people generally have it easier.

I'm sure there are exceptions but in general I would expect that being attractive would give you confidence. Confidence will do you all sorts of favours. Confidence will help you make friends, get jobs and attract partners.

I don't think that's particularly surprising...

I find there to be a bit of a gender difference

Some of the most quietly powerful people I know are unattractive women

And some of the most openly powerful people I know are attractive men

I think attractive women get a raw deal whatever way you look at it.

I think attractive women get a raw deal whatever way you look at it.

Thanks for the laugh.

It also really depends on whether you are talking about work or social life.

Life is definitely easier for attractive people socially. However I think that attractive women in particular can have difficulties in the workplace. I really do think that the potential advantages of some men favouring a woman for a job because of her looks are outweighed by the number of people who find an attractive woman intimidating or don't quite know how to deal with her. Batting away unwanted advances also becomes a minefield - those men who were keen to get you a job suddenly become very keen to get rid of you when you have turned them down after a few post-work drinks..

This isn't a problem confined to particularly attractive women of course (and as I said above, I really do think that most young professional women are attractive - at least in comparison to most older professional men!) but navigating a professional career can be very difficult for women who are judged initially on their looks.

I think I've been both. I'm (very) overweight now and my confidence isn't what it used to be. Sometimes i feel that people look down on me and feel superior. Perhaps I'm imagining it and it's just my self confidence getting in the way? When I was younger, I was a little self conscious about my weight (always on the upper end of normal). However I was always told I was beautiful/cute - I'm cringing reading this. I pulled very easily if I wanted to and it was just easier to be charming. I wanted people to like me for my brain, but the boys seemed interested in my looks. Now they think I'm a bubbly fat person. Proving I wasn't thick was a lot easier than keeping weight off. So, in answer to your question, yes it's harder being unattractive. Luckily I was brought up, and firmly believe, that the only ugly people are those ugly inside. That said, I'm back on healthy goal tomorrow!

As others have said, research shows that better looking people tend to be favoured for example in job interviews, given all other things being equal (e.g. same qualifications). But I don't think any of us should lose hope, because it's a small difference which those of us who are ordinary looking can probably overcome with more research about the job applied for, positive attitude, a smile and politeness? That's what I'm pinning my hopes on, anyway ;-)

Is life harder for unattractive people? I dunno... I was waiting for you to tell us!

My most recent job during the interview I was told "I like your look, about a size 10?"
Looks were considered important in my job and flirting

www.theguardian.com/books/2008/apr/10/fashion.healthandwellbeing
There's an Argentinian writer who has been campaigning for the rights of ugly people for years. He argues that as the good looking get all the breaks (better paid jobs, more friends, more lovers) the government should step in and tax them more highly. Arguably Argentina is more looks oriented that the UK. Still he's got a point. Having said that some plain people can use their personality to win others over. The mix of lack of physical attractiveness with great emotional intelligence and people skills can be quite powerful.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

I think the practicalities of being unattractive need to be considered too. I would love to roll out of bed, sling a jersey dress on and sandals and go. Instead, I have to play "let's see how many spots have erupted during the night" and how puffy and red my face is. 20 minutes of skincare minimum followed by another 20 of makeup. Don't get me started on the hair, knobbly knees, pale see through veined skin and monster feet!
If I had one wish, it would be to wake up honey skinned and blemish free with dainty perfect feet and caramel frizz free beachy hair. I would be out the door in 10 minutes and life would be so less stressful. I wouldn't really care about what other people thought of me, just the satisfaction I would get looking in the mirror.

My favourite Roald Dahl quote, just saying.

I suppose it depends how you define 'unattractive'. But I think it is. Unattractive people who make the best of what they have-good hair, nice skin ,well dressed a, personable are one thing . But it often goes with extreme over(or less usually) underweight- which then can contribute to the unattractiveness -and general air of "i'm not worth it' . Hard to develop self confidence if you know you are nothing special looks wise or even downright ugly ?
I have done a LOT of interviewing in my time and ,all other things being equal, I suspect I have (subconsciously )given the job to the more attractive of two candidates
But some ostensibly unattractive (to look at )people are hugely talented/intelligent/ lovely/funny . The 'worst looking 'guy I ever knew (speaking objectively) was happily married to one of the prettiest girls I ever met. And he was all of the previous .
And no I don't get that beautiful people have a 'hard time' purely because of their looks

I used to be reasonably attractive and get a lot of second glances a few years ago and life was much the same. Attention from men was both hassle and had its perks.
Now I have gained a lot of weight and eye problems mean i can't wear contacts, (not that glasses are ugly, but for my face shape I definitely look better without them!) I find that aside from the male attention and occasional comments from other women, nope, nothing is different.

I was very spotty, fat with braces in my late teens. I found it far easier to be taken seriously than I did when I dropped to a size six, lost the braces and spots and grew my naturally blonde hair to my waist. People not only didn't take me seriously at job interviews etc, but assumed I couldn't cut it, and some were genuinely nasty or hostile. I think there was more bullying then than when I was a plump teen! Life is hard for most, looks shouldn't determine it either way.

Loving what Eventies says. I should write it down.

My own experience is that I have never really considered my looks and I more-or-less assumed I was OK! Never liked my big bust though.

Also, I think "being attractive" is often seen as being conventionally good-looking, which I'm not sure is the same thing. Conventionally good-looking women can often look a bit dull to me, though I suspect they do have an easier time in attracting a mate and therefore having more security in their lives.

I am amazed people call themselves beautiful. Surely people have different opinions on beautiful. They might think they are. Doesn't mean others think so. (Or maybe that's just me thinking like that?) we see models on tv that have done all sorts to their faces to make themselves look beautiful, I always think they look plastic. I'm not good looking in any way. But if I were I can't imagine saying it.
But I think people that are pleasing to the eye probably get better jobs. You don't see ugly woman on tv doing stuff like presenting or reading the news. If you go to a beauty place for treatment the ladies are always good looking, but maybe they just make an effort compared to myself. I just pull my hair back in a bun and wear minimal make up (if any) I haven't gone far in life, but then I haven't tried.