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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not save for DC?

148 replies

AtSea1979 · 06/08/2016 21:00

We have a reasonable lifestyle at the moment, don't home own but tick over with a little spare.
Spoke to the bank, wanted to set up a saving account for the DC but their policy is it automatically gets signed over to them at 16 which I don't want.
Spoke to my parents about it and they seemed surprised that I wanted to save for them.
They never saved for me, I've always worked and paid my own way through uni/life. It got me wondering should I even save for them? Does everyone these days with rising uni/house costs?

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 06/08/2016 21:02

I am, even if only a little bit. A tenner a month each at the moment, but more when we can afford it. I'd love to be able to help Dc later in life.

TuppencePenny · 06/08/2016 21:05

My family did it for me and it was a huge amount of help. Not loads maybe £3,000 by the time I was 18 but when I left home to work it was an invaluable safety net.

pegomassive1 · 06/08/2016 21:05

I know what your saying about the account being name changed come them turning 16. I didn't want this. So dh and I set up an isa in MY name which we have ear marked for dd.
You do this have to do it. I never had any money set aside for me growing up and funded my own higher education and saved for my own house deposit still drive an old (reliable) banger of a car...
We are in a fortunate position where we can afford to put a small amount away each month (£50ish) but if an emergency arose that money would be used for that and dc would be none the wiser

TuppencePenny · 06/08/2016 21:05

Sorry should have said only about £15 a month.

pegomassive1 · 06/08/2016 21:05

Should say you do not have to do this

SillySongsWithLarry · 06/08/2016 21:08

I don't save for the DCs. They will be 15 and 18 when the mortgage is paid off though so I will be in a portion to help them out when they need it. They won't be getting a lump sum to blow though. Maybe help towards a deposit, help for a wedding etc.

Cocochoco · 06/08/2016 21:41

I do. And dss still doesn't know about his account and he is 18 (will be telling him soon). I think the pitiful interest stopped when he was 16. I'd have moved it to an adult interest-paying account but didn't want to give him access to it.

Graceflorrick · 06/08/2016 21:45

I save into a bank account, but I'm also planning to buy a house that she can have when she's ready. I'm going to rent it out in the meantime.

ollieplimsoles · 06/08/2016 21:46

We save your ours, but they wont know its there. Its for helping them with house deposits, trips they want to take, if they want to get married we can offer to help pay.

My parents didn't save for me and although I always worked hard and paid my own way, I think you can still encourage your kids to do that and have a safety net for them at the same time

justnotaballetmum · 06/08/2016 21:47

I think if you can't save for them, that's one thing, but to purposefully not save because you think it will teach them a lesson is rather mean-spirited.

wobblywonderwoman · 06/08/2016 21:56

I have a post office account for mine. They are toddlers and not in a position to save at the moment but I will in a few years

I want to give them a good life. My parents didn't help me with anything really. The basics but I want to give them a real shot.

RebelandaStunner · 06/08/2016 22:03

We have some saved for house deposit, but in our name. Also some towards driving lessons but that will also do for Ds main present for this birthday/Christmas. They do have a smaller amount in their names which they can access at 16. Ds has already passed 16 and hasn't spent a penny so far.
Our own finances are fairly sorted regarding pensions and investments as that is our priority.

bleedingnora · 06/08/2016 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming · 06/08/2016 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LifeIsGoodish · 06/08/2016 22:28

Why wouldn't you save for your dc? I see it as no different than giving them more than the bare minimum of anything. "They've got school shoes, so they don't need playshoes." Hmm

We can afford to save for our dc, so we do. We have set up stakeholder pensions, ISAs and bank accounts for each of them. What else would we do with the money that was gifted when they were born, and that they have been given for their birthdays since then?

PrincessHairyMclary · 06/08/2016 22:33

I would save as with University changes it is likely we may at some stage end up in a similar situation as the USA and I wouldn't like not having enough money being the reason DD didn't go to Uni etc.

Also if you saved in their name and needed money in the future you can withdraw it and use it providing it is for the benefit of the child.

user789653241 · 06/08/2016 23:58

I do save for my ds. My parents did for me, so I do the same for him.

DollyBarton · 07/08/2016 00:03

Everything we do has our dcs future in mind but I've no intention of giving them all the money we've put aside for them. I think it's important to both stay in control of the money and stay liquid.

MarriedinMaui · 07/08/2016 00:03

We save for a number of reasons, but high on the priority list would be being able to help the DCs out with university fees and house deposits. I don't see any reason to have it in a special account or in their names though. I was totally irresponsible about money until my mid 20s so I want to stay in full control of the money in case they take after me!

Mov1ngOn · 07/08/2016 00:09

Lifeisgood. Maybe because there isn't cast amounts of disposable income?

We're doing okay but not got money to squirrel away as well as activities/basic holiday/clothes etc.

Birthday money - well it's 20 quid here and there so it's theirs to spend!!

LifeIsGoodish · 07/08/2016 00:18

Like I said, we can afford to. Of course if you can't afford to you have to use the money to live on. And, apart from the stakeholder pensions and the gift-money bank accounts, everything else can be called on if we need it for the family.

orangebird69 · 07/08/2016 00:28

We save £300 a month for ds (9mo). We're slightly older parents. Retirement and uni fees etc might clash so we want to make sure there's enough to fund that plus maybe a deposit for a house, a bit of travelling etc. He won't know about it though until it's needed. My parents weren't well off but still did things like pay for driving lessons, first car etc. I want to do as much as I can for ds. We possibly won't be around for him for as long as his peers parents might be and I want to know we've set him up as well as we possibly could.

Primaryteach87 · 07/08/2016 00:37

This thread makes me feel awful! We spend what we earn on providing for what our child needs now and have none left over...We've only once been given money for our child, which we spent on some classes for them (that we wouldn't have been able to afford). Otherwise family give presents...

Topseyt · 07/08/2016 00:43

I can't afford to actually save for them each month but they do each have savings due to money gifted as birthday or Christmas presents etc.

We have all of our assets and pensions held in trust and covered by our mirror wills so that the DDs will all eventually benefit equally.

We contribute to their plans and lives as and when we can.

Strokethefurrywall · 07/08/2016 00:46

We save $100 a month for each of the boys but they won't know and the money will be held in trust until they're 25, along with any other investments or savings from overseas family.

I wasn't going to set up savings for them but living overseas I want to have a nest for each of them for whatever they need. I also don't want them to know about it or expect it.