To not save for DC?

[AtSea1979]

We have a reasonable lifestyle at the moment, don't home own but tick over with a little spare.
Spoke to the bank, wanted to set up a saving account for the DC but their policy is it automatically gets signed over to them at 16 which I don't want.
Spoke to my parents about it and they seemed surprised that I wanted to save for them.
They never saved for me, I've always worked and paid my own way through uni/life. It got me wondering should I even save for them? Does everyone these days with rising uni/house costs?

And to answer the original post, I do save for my DC. They both have child trust fund/junior isa type thingy which become theirs at 18, plus an instant access account for day to day stuff in my name and theirs. I also pay £20 pm per dc into a child's pension.

I got nothing from my parents, who are both now dead. Died young but old enough that I was an adult when they went and got nothing.

However, they worked hard to give me a good education and foreign holidays and when I left home, I bought a 2 bed terrace starter home for £19,000 and I have a deferred defined benefit pension.

My DC won't have any of that. Starter homes round here go for about £80-100k (we live in a fairly deprived area of north wales so moving won't help) whilst wages are fairly stagnant. Pensions will also be hard work for the next generation. I can afford to save the amounts I do, occasionally I dip into their current accounts to fund big birthdays or the like, only for them.

I guess every generation has its own difficulties but I'm happy saving for mine as I felt very abandoned as a child.

ps - I realise this is a risk, it's individual to the child, and I would actually be terribly sad if they did blow it, but at some point, they have to manage money. DS will be at Uni in 2 years.

My DB and my DH got into awful debt for not having the skill of financial management. I actually wonder if schools and parents should do more, but that's off topic.

needastrongone I'd hope to have the same approach as you - that would suit my parenting style too. If they blow the lump sum, that's it. No more in the pot.

And, as others have said, I am not sure that being helped financially defines your own work ethic in general. If we can help towards a deposit for a house or whatever, I hope we will, as I trust the DC to work hard also for that goal, or whatever they so choose.

I've saved for mine (9 & 7). They've never kept birthday money and I've topped it up, they've already got more than enough for driving lessons. Next I've got to think about Uni, no idea how I'll manage to save much as I'm a lp and thy want to spend birthday money soon.

MrsArch Thanks. We did discuss at length beforehand, due to the sums involved, and were not without reservations, but I agree, it suited our parenting style to trust them to make the right choice.

Gosh, I blew my money when I was 18/19. Had crippling depression so it all went. I'm tying to keep the dc's money under my control until as late as possible, although universal credit might mean they have to have it all in their names because there'll be a limit on my savings for UC. It really worries me what they could do if they go off the rails with money.

At the minute no, I'm not working and barely making ends meet. But when I go back to work, absolutely. I'm never going to be in a position to buy a home even if I saved a deposit (numerous CCJs etc) so I may as well save for my sons future so he can have a chance to.

Needastrongone - sounds like your kids have learnt a great lesson about money.

I'm only 20 weeks pregnant with my 1st but think has really made me think. I think things will only get harder for young (and old!) people so am sure any help will be useful in years to come.

We'll hopefully save some money - but it will stay in our names. DPs parents were able to help him out with uni and a house deposit, I'd like to be able to do that for our DC.

I've been saving for each of my kids since they were born. For most of that time I've been able to manage without the child benefit, so that's what I put away for them . I spilt it evenly among them even though the oldest gets more.

The amounts are in trust for them and they don't get access until they are 21. I expect that by that age it will have gone to support them through university or in an apprenticeship or for a deposit for a flat .

None of them know about it just yet because I want then to think carefully about higher education and not just go because it's not their money they are spending IYSWIM.

I'm also doing it because my parents didn't do it for me and they could well afford it . They didn't support me at all at university and I was really hard up, I mean hard up like " couldn't afford to buy food " hard up .

My tutor had to apply for extra funds to pay for my hall fees so I didn't have to drop out my course . The university helped me get a job as an assistant warden in the halls so I had somewhere to live during the short holidays. In the long holidays I worked in another job too.

I had to work every weekend during term time just to buy food . I couldnt afford to buy some of the texts books so spent extra hours in the library . I never went out for a drink ( no not once in 6 years ) with my classmates because I didn't have the money to buy a round , let alone go to events like end of term balls.

When I lived in a flat , I couldn't afford hot water for a bath so I showered every day in the sports building and boiled a kettle to wash dishes .

I loved university but my time there was affected by having so little money and I'd like it to be different for my kids . I didn't two jobs for years afterwards to save up for a deposit for a flat, so I'd like to be help them with that too if I can .

I want them to work hard and appreciate the value of money but I never want them to be as skint as I was .

Both my dc have an isa but I wish I'd put it in my name just to make sure they don't blow it.

I don't, we can't afford it at the moment. They have about £500 each from birth/christening gifts. But we will hopefully be in a position to help them when they need it. They're only 8 and 4 and we're pretty skint at the moment but won't always be the case.

No it's it unreasonable - it's completely your choice. I have savings in children's names. I have never been a good saver, but since I have had children, I want them to not find every day a struggle. I would like them to have help towards a house deposit etc.

My parents could have helped me a lot more than they have. I don't resent it, but now I have children, I don't understand it as I know I'd love to help my children if I could.

The accounts are normal savings accounts, not ISAs, as I want to be able to pull the money if I think they'll waste it. Obviously I'll try and raise them to realise the value of money, but it is a risk and they are very young at the minute, so I couldn't predict how they'd use it.

We save money each month for our DD, I also save for us. If I couldn't afford to, I wouldn't but I want to be in a position to help DD out with her first car/uni fees/deposit for a house.

I did a monthly saving plan for my eldest, it paid out this year as she turned 18, I could choose who the cheque was paid to, I had it paid in my name and put it into an isa and I'm continuing to save a bit each month from what she gives me from her wages. It'll be there for her when she's ready to settle down and buy a house, these days our kids have got no hope of getting on the property ladder without a bit of help. My dh opened an isa for our younger daughter and does the same £20 per month

Both my dc have an isa but I wish I'd put it in my name just to make sure they don't blow it.

Just don't tell them about it? That's what we plan to do if we feel that by the time they get to that age they will waste it.

That said I do like the approach of letting them have it, telling them it's theirs to spend as they wish but to also think carefully about the future because once it's gone it's gone. Something to think about at least.

why does this thread make you feel awful? you can do what you can do surely?

some dc will always be getting so much and others very little and others still much more than many poor children in this world

op, I would love to save something because who knows what our finances will be like when they are older, my own dp's went tits up just as I started uni...it would have been amazing to have some cash then.

If we can later on we will, but at the moment no. I couldnt care less what other people do or dont do for their dc

It's completely up to you. My dh's parents saved a small amount for each of our 4 dc's. They have now died but we have tried to add a little as we have been able. they each have around £3 k in Junior Isa'a or child trust funds. We are now in a position to save a lot more for them but are reluctant to do so as when they turn 18 they will have access to that money. My eldest ds (17) earns a fair bit each month from his part time job but money burns a hole in his pocket so it seems. We have found numerous scratch cards in the bin in his room. My dh is convinced that if he suddenly has access to large sums of money at 18 he will just blow it so we would rather save it ourselves then help him out as he needs it for Uni/ Driving lessons/ House deposit. I have friends who have saved every penny of their child benefit since their kids were born and now have £15k+ saved for their son.

I didn't save for my eldest two, but did have a small 10year saving bond for youngest which just paid out. We are using the money to go to New York for my DD 18th birthday.
My biggest regret with oldest two is not teaching them to budget and they are both terrible with money. Going to try and not make same mistake with youngest, who has just got her first job. I am going to make sure she saves some and understand how to make rest last for a whole month without blowing it straight after pay day!

I don't save for them specifically, but I did open them an account each (of which I am trustee, so I decide if and when they get access to it) primarily for their Xmas and birthday money to go into. I didn't want them to automatically get access to the funds at a particular age as they may not be mature enough at a specific age to handle that amount of cash responsibly. We also save spare change and deposit that in intermittently, but we don't have enough spare cash each month to add in at this stage.

My Dad saved for me what he called my 'wedding fund'. When he realised that wasn't happening anytime soon, he blew it all on a second hand sports car for himself.

But... If you can save, I really would, even if it is just enough to pay for the first few driving lessons or the basics for a flat when they go off to college. I watch my friends kids really struggle.

I have not saved for any of my children bit have helped them when needed. Daughter moved house and we paid for all her carpets and towards driving lessons and test.

We bought our youngest a car when we moved house as there is no transport to his 6th form school, he passed his driving test yesterday so can now do his own school run!

My middle son is awful with money and takes drugs so we buy him essentials when he needs things and I also have tesco food deliveries sent to him to ensure he eats.

My friend is married and they (they don't and never will have children) have saving accounts for all of his nephews and nieces for when they turn 18. He opened them the day the kids were born and puts the same into each account every month. Some of them have now turned 18 so have had the money. One of the nieces had a couple of thousand pounds and spent it all having bad tattoos!!

This makes me feel bad we don't save for our three! My parents saved for me and I blew the lot on junk when I was given it at 16. Uni was never even spoken about in my house growing up so I never even thought of going it was expected that I went to work. We can't afford to save at the moment. I know my mum has an account for them but that's it. We rent as well so they are getting nothing from us when they are older! Sad but true!

You can set up a child ISA and choose it to mature at age 18 or 21 that's what I've got for my 3 kids