Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To not save for DC?

148 replies

AtSea1979 · 06/08/2016 21:00

We have a reasonable lifestyle at the moment, don't home own but tick over with a little spare.
Spoke to the bank, wanted to set up a saving account for the DC but their policy is it automatically gets signed over to them at 16 which I don't want.
Spoke to my parents about it and they seemed surprised that I wanted to save for them.
They never saved for me, I've always worked and paid my own way through uni/life. It got me wondering should I even save for them? Does everyone these days with rising uni/house costs?

OP posts:

Scribblegirl · 09/08/2016 18:16

My parents saved, not for us, but for the family. I had a bit of help at uni but not loads (£50 whenever we saw each other and a big food shop when they came to me) and the majority of my money came from my loan, followed by my jobs, followed by mum and dad. I remember them very generously paying off a £500 phone bill when my phone had been stolen - I didn't realise it had been taken until 2 days later when the bastards had run up a massive bill. That was incredibly kind of them - I'd have been fucked otherwise (was in my 2nd year). But it was very much 'we're here if you're in trouble' not 'here's some cash, cut loose'.

DP and I have just bought a house and they have helped us to the tune of £10k, which is a chunk of those 'family' savings. DP and I are starting to get established and plan to save about 20% of our income now (the amount saved by paying a mortgage + various insurances rather than rent). I plan to do the same for our future kids - not save for them per se but hopefully be in a position to help on the big ticket items and bail them out if they get into trouble.

Buddahbelly · 09/08/2016 18:41

I pay £10 a month into an account for ds and have done since he was born, It comes straight out of my child benefit, Some months I add in extra, all his birthday and xmas money goes in there too.

My parents did it for me and gave me a cheque for £5000 when I bought my house a few years ago, Id love to do the same for ds someday.

Goingtobeawesome · 09/08/2016 18:46

We save for the kids and the PIL do too. They don't know about it and won't until we give it to them. Even if we have to tell them they won't get it. It's already five figures. We don't want it wasted.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 09/08/2016 18:49

We don't. We had a few tough years and are only now getting back on our feet. I intended to, but it just didn't work out that way. Once we're in a position to put money away I think I'd be more inclined to overpay mortgage and build up our own savings - that way we'd be in a better position to help later.

iMogster · 09/08/2016 18:50

We're putting a few quid in each month for our 2 DCs. Grandparents are adding to it at birthdays. It will help them out with Uni or driving lessons or house deposit and easier than us finding a lump sum.

I agree there is the risk that they will waste the money, but I'm not then going to roll over and give a lump sum on top! I'll be making that crystal clear!

GrumpyMcGrumpFace · 09/08/2016 19:16

I think make sure you have savings first - just thinking of the article I read today which says a lot of people have a month or less of bills in savings. For your DC, it's surely worth making sure you are financially secure yourself, then move on to save for them. A bit like doing your own oxygen mask first on the plane!

3 months of bills saved as a minimum, I would say.

SuzyLucy · 09/08/2016 19:25

My two have about £3k in savings from.the days of child trust funds. We stopped as we werent happy they had access to the money at 18. We have savings and investments which we plan in sharing with them at some point in the future. I would like to help them with uni or setting up a business, a donation to a wedding and a generous contribution to their first property. Its not a huge priority as neither of us came from money or had much help. They will also inherit our house at some point which is in London so should be a nest egg. Thats assuming care home fees dont eat it up. Several of our friends had lots of money given to them and tbh very few of them appreciate it.

justkeepongoing · 09/08/2016 19:26

I've always saved my DS family allowance in an account for him. My take is that thankfully we could afford to feed and cloth him without help from the government, thank you very much. Laterly I transferred it to a bond. When he does eventually tootle off to uni he should have a tidy sum to help him. I didn't have any help as my mum DM was on her own with 3 to bring up and not much money spare. Do only what you can but every little bit of help will be a bonus.

Gatehouse77 · 09/08/2016 19:29

When ours were little we put away b'day and Christmas money they were given and continued to encourage them as they got older. Pocket money was often deposited in lumps as we frequently forgot to give it to them and then owe up to 3 months! They figured that if they hadn't needed to ask for it there was nothing to spend it on so would save it.

We don't put aside anything on a regular basis but they got a small sum of inheritance from my Mum which has been put into ISAs for them. It's in their names but I am a trustee. My father has also been putting some money aside for them each b'day and Christmas. The intention for these is to put towards a car or somesuch.

We'd rather spend the money on giving them experiences and opportunities now. If they want more they can get off their backsides and earn it. (A sore point during these holidays!)

pleasemothermay1 · 09/08/2016 19:31

My son has just turned 16 we have saved over 3k for him he has no idea it's a national saving book

he has no clue it exists and will never know we will stop paying into it when he's 18 and the book will only be given over at the point when he is ready to by a house I know what the letter looks like when it arrives and it goes stright in my filing cabinet

cherryplumbanana · 09/08/2016 19:43

I too have a saving account in my name. I don't know what we are saving for specifically, but I know my kids will need help with car + insurance/ uni/ buying a house/ weddings....

Many people around me borrowed their deposit from family. Nothing wrong with that, but said family needs to have the funds somewhere.

I wouldn't sacrifice all family holidays and stop having a life to save for the future, but if you can, it's worth doing.

Kr1stina · 09/08/2016 20:08

I don't " sacrifce family holidays " , I just save small things here and there . I don't Buy take away coffees and always take packed lunches to work . Most people in my office get a coffee and a sandwich from the shop each day, and another coffee and pastry on the way to or from work.

That's easily £8 a day( as well as a lot of calories ) . I never do it so I don't miss it , I don't feel deprived . At a conservative estimate, that's £1,500 a year, which soon adds up in a savings account for your kids well it used to when they paid interest

Of course no one knows that's why I'm doing it, I just say I'm trying to eat healthily / training for a race / cutting down on caffeine .

Works for me .

BraveLittleWolf · 09/08/2016 20:16

mumbathing · 09/08/2016 20:25

My dc have a savings account which my nan pays into. We also put any money they get for Christmas into it too. I'd love to put some money aside for them as well but (selfish as it sounds) I need to secure my future first! Currently renting and saving to buy my first home.

irregularegular · 09/08/2016 20:26

We don't, though my parents have been giving them about £200 year so they will have a small lump sum at 18.

We will help them in the future if need be, depending on circumstances, but not by saving specifically.

Bobochic · 09/08/2016 20:40

Yes, our DC have savings in their own names. Plenty to pay for their HE and a house deposit.

onecurrantbun1 · 09/08/2016 20:51

I've just set up ISAs for each of our girls. Hoping to save £500 per year in each name. We are only doing it as we are in a position to - we have a good amount of savings ourselves and hope that this £40pm will grow to a useful amount over time.

They will also get a day to day account when they're older to save bits and Bobs of birthday / Christmas money as imo small amounts gifted by family should be used for fun, be that spent in Toys R Us the say after their birthday or saved up to buy a big item like a keyboard or special piece of jewellery.

emsy5000 · 09/08/2016 21:31

My nan dad it for me paid a lot of my gap year costs which was one of the best years of my life and I was very great full for it

AndreeaC · 09/08/2016 21:40

The child savings accounts you can have at the bank I work at don't get signed over to the children when they turn 16. They stay in your name, just that they automatically turn into a normal everyday savings account (still in your name) and they lose the tax free status when the child turns 18. I have two of them, one where I get the Child Benefit transferred into every Monday, the idea was to give all that money to him when he turns 18, or later, when he needs it. Haven't been able to keep much in it so far, I'm afraid, too many expenses for a single mom!

hookiewookie29 · 09/08/2016 21:45

Started a junior bond for both our kids when they were born, for ten quid each a month until they reached 18. To do what they wanted with as long as they didn't waste it.
DS was 18 in May and bought his first car with it. Over the years, we have had lots of ups and downs moneywise and we would never have been in the position to buy a car for him. Saving that tenner was the best thing we did.....so proud seeing him driving around!

theelectricmichaelangelo · 09/08/2016 22:10

I don't save for my kids I decided to invest. I realise it's not for everyone but I've made a lot more money for my kids via investment trusts which are still performing brilliantly over 3 , 5 and 10 years. I started with the governments initial child trust fund thing where they gave £250 as a starter and then added £25 a month and husband does same. Now have over £12 k saved for 11 year old so far. And nearly as much for 8 year old. When I went to university, tuition fees were free and I got a partial maintenance grant for nearly all of it and a bursary for my masters. My younger sister conversely went as paid for fees were scrapped and left in lots of debt which as she ended up as a teacher has taken years and years to pay off. I am hoping that my kids will be able to use the money for university and to fund gap year travel etc. I do expect them to make their own way aswell like I did and will expect them to earn their keep in the holidays through temp jobs and take some proper paid work during gap years. I will also expect rent if they decide to live at home before first job so they start understand the the true cost of living.

SparklesandBangs · 09/08/2016 22:12

When DC were born we didn't start savings plans for them, although they did have savings accounts for birthday money which they never spent and I put in some of my work bonuses just to build them up, they have had control of this money since around their 14th birthday, but I don't think there was ever as much as £2000 in each.

What DH and I did do was to work hard initially just to stay afloat, the to clear our mortgage and build up our investment portfolios so we can be in a position to help the DC if and when they need it. First we have to fund university, the we will see what happens next. There will be support when needed but no defined lump sum at an agreed time.

I didn't have support from my DP but I didn't need it, my siblings did with my agreement as at the time they needed cash injections, it works for us.

OutToGetYou · 09/08/2016 22:35

We do save for dss (a junior ISA is theirs at 18 not 16, so if you want 18 consider one of those) but we also just save.
So if dss needed some money we would decide at that point whether we could help him out from our savings.
You don't have to actually save in their name, or their own account to just have money available if needed or if you just want to help them.

I gave each of my niece and nephew £1,500 when they went to uni, it wasn't kept in an account with their names on but I did save it and kept it aside with them in mind. Had they not gone to uni I might just have given it to them at 21 or something.

Iamnotanugget · 09/08/2016 23:00

£40 per month in an isa paying 2% (which you'll be lucky to find) will give you a total of just over 10k in 18 years. We owe 125k on our mortgage, if the rate stays at 2% and we pay an extra £40 a month we pay it off 2 years and 2 months early. We could then save the mortgage payment and overpayment for 2 years and 2 months and have over 14k. It's worth thinking about.

theelectricmichaelangelo · 09/08/2016 23:26

@lamnotanugget - I like your thinking!

I am going to look into that although I have a feeling I will end up having to downsize to pay off mortgage!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread