To start ANOTHER thread that no-one responds to?

[VanillaSugar]

Go on. You know you want to. Either don't post or help me get to a thousand posts (again). Please sing, laugh, quote Jane Austen and post pictures of Aiden Turner in the buff.

Hmm a 3 some with Aid and Idris sounds appealing

Idris is massive. 6'4". And he's cool and he's NOW SINGLE.

Noonesfool

Who's that sexy man?

Is that Idris?

I posted that I would charge £100 and £250 with my teeth out

Brilliant :)

That is Idris.

You do not need to know his name, he is my husband. You may address him as MrNoone.

Well Im not single because im with Aidan

Ooh, I sense that "hands-off" vibe.

Don't blame you.

Portia it's a bit early for all that. I admit that at 9.45 on a Sunday morning I prioritise food myself.

I just need to engineer a meeting and then arrange a wedding and then he will be husband.

Mere technicalities.

Im just finishing my full English Alice and then I'm off to church

Fifty quid. Apparently.
And it isn't a brothel. Apparently.

I'm sure he will be very excited to hear of your plans noones.
Is there a confessional there Portia - I think you may need it.

Not a brothel in any way.

Except for the buying of sexual acts by women.

Otherwise, nothing like it.

No it's Starfucks

Brothel: 'a house where men visit prostitutes'
So is it the fact it's a cafe not a house

at Starfucks. They totes should have called it that.

I'm off now, yes the confessional has my name on the door

Lol at Portia

Keanu Reeves. He is mine, I bags him and I share him with no one. Not Noone No Body Else. At All.

That Portia - straight from the bed of vice to a hallowed church. Has the woman no shame?

There used to be a brothel down the road from my house that had a sign in the window saying:

"Free can of Heineken with every "massage" "

I shit you not, they put massage in inverted commas.

Ahead of their time though, this was 15 years ago and now it's all about Starfucks.

I shall be gone for quite a while so I'll leave you with this message

Noonesfool - in your relentless (but fully understandable) pursuit of Mr Elba as your husband, haven't you forgotten the small technicalities of divorcing the existing Mr Noone and finding a new, respectable home for your blameless offspring?

Way ahead of you Better, we separated 2 years ago and I had the foresight to never marry him not that he asked

Ah, you've got it all covered then! Nothing like foresight. In that case, I'll be expecting my invite to the nuptials soon. I love a wedding, me.