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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re: this bloody Facebook group?

549 replies

Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 16:07

Am on this fb group whose philosophy is "attachment" parenting based. I do a lot of attachment parenting things myself but just cos I like them - I hate parenting labels.

Anyway today this poor woman has posted asking for advice on how to stop co sleeping as she is knackered and wants her evening back as baby won't sleep without her there and wakes up when she goes. Baby is 15 months. I think this is fair enough. No. Instead of helpful advice, or sympathy, she just gets loads of stuff along the lines of "why would you want to stop co sleeping?" and people insinuating she is selfish for wanting time to herself.

Someone else posts asking for advice on "natural" teething remedies as she doesn't like using calpol. Cue loads of people saying to try Amber teething bracelets Hmm. Yes. Let's put a choking hazard on my baby. That's much better than a small dose of paracetamol.

I do follow a lot of attachment parenting methods but I cannot buy into the above load of crap. I also hate that "co sleep/wear a sling" appear to be solutions to all problems. My baby hates both of these.

AIBU?

I have de joined said fb group before anyone jumps on that one.

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Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 17:44

Omg yes the cot thing!!! Every time mentions transition to cot it's all "is there a particular reason he needs to go in a cot?"

Yes, I want my fucking bed back.

OP posts:
sleepyhippo · 04/08/2016 17:47

I'm a member of an off topic breastfeeding group and Shock it's so judgemental! I've always thought it! Glad I'm not alone!

Once a girl put a picture of herself having a Starbucks while her toddler was napping in the back of the car and they all tore her a new one cos the baby was facing forward.

And another lady put a picture up of her baby and someone commented that she should get that dummy out of her mouth or she'll miss all the feeding cues Hmm

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 04/08/2016 17:48

Oh yeah apparently because I used a dummy I didn't ebf my son (never actually found out the address to apply for my medal for that anyway Hmm)

glenthebattleostrich · 04/08/2016 17:48

I breastfed for 3 years, do I get a parade or a free boob job?

I'm a lazy arse parent, natural term feeding because it was easier to stop a tantrum by sticking a boon in dd's mouth, co slept because otherwise we would never have slept, sling because dd hated pushchair /pram etc, I couldn't be arsed with the fight and I used public transport a lot.

I remember being at a toddler group with a lentil weaving, gentle parenting type and she was having A go at a new mum because she was combination feeding. I pointed out that formula isn't poisonous and as long as our kids make it to adulthood alive and with minimal need for therapy then it didn't really matter. She turned on me, started telling me how sorry she felt for my poor deprived daughter rant, rant as DD climbed onto my knee and helped herself to boob. I almost spilled tea onto dd I was laughing so much :)

sleepyhippo · 04/08/2016 17:52

And they all ask for articles and things to show their pregnant friends to persuade them to breastfeed. It's all just so extreme.

Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 17:53

sleepy

That's the second group in referring to, the off topic can I breastfeed in it one.

So fucking judgy.

OP posts:
Fluffsnuts · 04/08/2016 17:54

I'm on the same group as you and equally annoyed by the responses on those posts. And when anyone says anything vaguely negative about breastfeeding, they too get jumped on. I'm going to leave as well. It's a really unsupportive group!

Spudlet · 04/08/2016 17:56

I just unfollowed the Can I Breastfeed In It page as they were getting all outraged about a Huffington Post article about how to stop breastfeeding. Because heaven forbid anyone should ever decide to stop, right? Hmm

Fluffsnuts · 04/08/2016 17:56

And the breastfeeding group. Yikes! They give regular breastfeeding people a bad name!

Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 17:57

I was Shock at their poxy fucking rules as well that you have to agree to abide by.

"We're not judgmental but if you formula feed you're not welcome here".

Hmm
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M0nstersinthecl0set · 04/08/2016 17:58

I'm a sling / co-sleep when it suits bf cloth nappy sort of parent but if anyone tries to convince me that AP (or indeed Gina Ford) is the only way they can do one. I willl stick to parenting my children and taking any advice with a hefty dose of salt (not even pink 😉).

I use a sling because my children have days where they wont be put down. I co sleep when they're restless without me because I value my sleep. They are happy children .... not affected by whole walks in a pushchair or time in their own cot!

I steer clear of parenting groups and threads and definitely books they have lead me to believe parenting makes everyone a ranting loon at times. (Including me, sorry)

Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 17:59

I think it's a shame more women don't breastfeed. I think it's a shame because many want to but don't have the right support.

I don't think it's a systematic evil campaign by aptamil or cow & gate ffs.

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M0nstersinthecl0set · 04/08/2016 17:59

But ... these AP obsessives must be a sales persons dream. They fall for a lot of crap.

OrlandaFuriosa · 04/08/2016 17:59

And, if you read Laurie Lee's Cider with Rosie, co sleeping Comes To A Horrible End when the most recent baby displaces one and it feels a sense of Abandonment For Ever...

( almost never co slept...small baby used to occupy entirety of King Size bed. Extraordinary ability to inflate and appropriate others' space.)

Leave The Group ( oh yes, you have..)

Klaptrap · 04/08/2016 17:59

So glad it isn't just me who hates that awful group. I just stay on it for entertainment value, makes good nightfeed reading.

Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 18:00

I left the first group, I haven't yet left can I breastfeed in it.

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Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 18:00

Yy klap

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Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 18:05

Now someone wants to make a breastfeeding milestones t shirt.

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Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 04/08/2016 18:06

I breast fed for two years with my first and a day with my 2nd/3rd twins! What award would I get?

Gowgirl · 04/08/2016 18:07

Haven't found that group yet! Co sleeping is great with a BABY, when you have a 3 yr old and and 18 mo in the bed it's no fucking joke! Why oh why must they lie horizontal...plus would quite like my sex life backGrin

Original poster
Rozdeek · 04/08/2016 18:11

It's "can I breastfeed in it - off topic group"

But you have to mind your manners. If you're naughty you get chucked out.

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SpaghettiMeatballs · 04/08/2016 18:11

I was in a breastfeeding group on FB when my DCs were babies where some of the women wanted to campaign for formula milk to be available on prescription only to prevent women just choosing to FF. They compared it to insulin!

They had silver / gold / platinum award thing going on too.

They were truly bonkers. I had to leave swiftly.

Rainbow · 04/08/2016 18:17

At the end of the day we are all the same. Mothers who are winging it. We do what ishe best for our children the best way we know how. There is no need for judgement or competition.
I am loving this thread tho. Sposies and boogie awards 😂😂😂😂

Rainbow · 04/08/2016 18:19

That should read boobie awards 😂

ExtraShot · 04/08/2016 18:22

We're the same. Lots of gentle and attachment parenting but with common sense sprinkled throughout Hmm

As PP said I think survival parenting is an accurate description ha ha

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