Re: this bloody Facebook group?

[Rozdeek]

Am on this fb group whose philosophy is "attachment" parenting based. I do a lot of attachment parenting things myself but just cos I like them - I hate parenting labels.

Anyway today this poor woman has posted asking for advice on how to stop co sleeping as she is knackered and wants her evening back as baby won't sleep without her there and wakes up when she goes. Baby is 15 months. I think this is fair enough. No. Instead of helpful advice, or sympathy, she just gets loads of stuff along the lines of "why would you want to stop co sleeping?" and people insinuating she is selfish for wanting time to herself.

Someone else posts asking for advice on "natural" teething remedies as she doesn't like using calpol. Cue loads of people saying to try Amber teething bracelets . Yes. Let's put a choking hazard on my baby. That's much better than a small dose of paracetamol.

I do follow a lot of attachment parenting methods but I cannot buy into the above load of crap. I also hate that "co sleep/wear a sling" appear to be solutions to all problems. My baby hates both of these.

AIBU?

I have de joined said fb group before anyone jumps on that one.

A great quote on here the other day was 'parent the child you have', as opposed to the one others think you should have. There are ad infinitum opinions on 'how it should be done'. Personally, I think it's a learning curve involving a lot of trial and error. I had hoped to be a barefoot earth mother-type but my DS hated getting strapped into a sling and remained awake almost all night when we tried co-sleeping. I kept breastfeeding way longer than I should have; neither of us were happy with the arrangement, and as soon as he had a bottle, life was easier. All babies are different. Do what's best for the two of you.

I also commented on the calpol post you mean and got loads of shit for saying Amber necklaces were pointless. I really need to unfollow also.

I have heard the bicarb toothpaste thing too and how much healthier it is supposed to be.

I'm on a breastfeeding group and an attachment parenting group. Both have been useful for advice, but now I stay mainly for the comedy. Every now and then, someone will spot a few cartons of formula that a corner shop has put in the bargain bin because they're near the sell-by date. People go BALLISTIC, talk about reporting the shop (as it's technically a violation of the code that says you can't sell first-stage formula at a discount). Or someone will see a baby having to wait while "it's mummy" makes up a bottle, and in the meantime they've whipped out the boob and latched the baby on with no fuss.

DH's favourite was he discovered that there are "awards" for breastfeeding for certain lengths of time (silver boobies award for 6 months etc). He almost stopped breathing, he was laughing so hard.

sal I nearly did the same about Amber necklaces on this group too!!! Just didn't want to get shouted at.

There's one admin there who comments on absolutely everything and her "advice" always boils down to "just suck it up, your baby owns you".

There is an unintentionally (I think...)hilarious woman on a local crunchy parenting group who is on a mission to breastfeed in every single building in our large city, to see which are breastfeeding-unfriendly. Unfortunately for her, no one ever bites so she can't get any feed-ins going!

Amber beads fgs they are the emporers new calpol. 1. To get the analgesic out of amber you would have to heat it to volcanic temps. 2. If 1. Was achieved would you give your baby an unmetered dose of painkillers?
They really are a sign of thickness IMO I judge anyone I see with them now.

I'm a member of an eco group too and there was a big debate (with some people getting really shitty) over the disposable nappies. The original post came across as so so judgemental and basically labelled any mum who chose disposable nappies over washables as lazy

'Sposies' makes my teeth itch too. Only cloth nappy evangelists use the word disposable enough to need to shorten it. Saddos

I hate the amber beads myth and I bet most of the ones the babies are wearing are fake too! Amber is so so easy to fake and even easier to pass off as real to a 'crunchy' mum hellbent on getting a full set of crunchy stickers

I think my midwife is probably on one of these groups...

They actually use 'sposies'? Grim. That's gone nearly to the top of my hated words list.

The AP enthusiasts I know talk about how AP is responsive to the child's needs. As if every other parent ignores their child's needs.

twat 'crunchy stickers'

It's just the extreme end of that particular parenting "style" - some are like that but most aren't. I'm sure there are other groups where you'll find statements such as breastfeeding is gross because boobs are just for sex, and proponents of baby formula fed and in their own room doing cry it out from day one because "they have to learn". It's extreme but it exists. I can't get myself worked up about how other people choose to parent their children, nobody is being forced to change the way they do things by reading a post on a Facebook group. If they don't want to continue cosleeping and they get some replies saying "I wouldn't because I enjoy it and it's best for baby" what's the harm? They'll just go somewhere else for advice on that particular topic. It's not a law saying you're not ALLOWED to give it up.

silver boobies award !??? that's bonkers!

I'm doing some AP stuff but it's all part of the survivalist grab bag that happens to work with me and DH and this particular baby at this moment in time. I wish she'd take a damn bottle, though ...

Roz

Yep, same group - I've just seen the t-shirt post, what a bloody kerfuffle. I seriously have to sit on my hands to stop myself calling them all judgemental twats.

Did it really ruck you off? It would me. Sanctimonious cunts.

I joined a group like this after my DS was born and I ended up leaving, never known such a sanctimonious, judgmental group of mothers. I asked for some advice about gently helping DS to settle in a cot and was immediately got jumped on with 'why does he need to go in a cot!?'

"just suck it up, your baby owns you" This!!! YANBU.

Dr Sears fans I bet

Send her a supportive PM.

A FB friend was a member of a group like this and I used to get random bits on my wall (not sure how that works). It was amazing what pseudo-scientific nonsense they were peddling. I had to sit firmly on my hands on many occasions to stop telling them what complete rubbish it was. I didn't because I didn't want more of their posts.

I left one after serious criticism from women after I said my kids weren't allowed in my bedroom!! I said only my dh shares my bed!! One woman had actually sent her dh long ago to the spare room and shared with her 3 kids for the bonding it gave them. No marriage but that's fine apparently! Also got into big trouble as my kids don't see me naked (for their own mental well being in my mind!) and my dh keeps his privates - well private!!